Someone help me please?

Teresa

You need to get a lawyer, today. Even if the ex is not on the birth certificate all he would have to do is take you to court and demand a paternity test. He has rights even though he "took off" and as far as adoption unless he agrees to it you are out of luck.

tish_part deux

ok..this will come off harsh..

you are engaged with a two month old baby??? to another man, whom you love? i mean, how long were you away from your baby's dad, before meeting your new partner...and how long were you with your partner before you decided you were in love enough to marry him?

my dear....the time-line reads drama, to me.
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regarding the father, he has every right to stop an adoption, unless he can be found unfit. also, i strongly caution you against having your new partner adopt your baby. giving that this is a relatively new relationship, it's a possibility that things might not work out.

i really think you need to focus on your baby. deal with visitation and parenting issues with your child's father (including child support) and BUILD a healthier relationship with your new partner (i wonder how much "work" has been done on this relationship given all the 'baby-daddy' drama.) prior to involving the courts.

the fact that you want to "get the real father out of your life" reads more to me like you are reacting, rather than "acting" logically.

i wish you well.

sam22254

Why would you want to do that to your child? Your child has every right to know who their father is. Just how would you like it if he took the child from you which could be a good chance if he is more stable than you. I would let him see him and have him start paying child support in all most all states the child can't spend the night or go over the weekend visits until the child is 3. Haven't you heard do unto other like you want done to you. What you want to give the baby away if you have to deal with the father then give the child to the father.

sizesmith

Research the putative father registry laws in your state. In some states, if a man doesn't register at the courthouse, he loses his rights to make decisions for the child, but not his obligations. By all rights, he is the child's father, and if he's trying to make a genuine effort to be a father, you should allow him to, and there's nothing that should ever keep him apart from his child. If he's merely trying to get the baby so he's not obligated to pay child support, or his new girlfriend wants the baby, etc, then he should lose his rights.

There's probably nothing you can do to get the child's father to disappear if he wants his child. He should already be trying to at least buy diapers, formula, etc, in the event that he's trying.

favorite things in life are free

I'm confused. Are you trying to place the baby for adoption or have your fiance adopt him? Either way, you need to take a long, hard look at your situation. Seriously, that baby boy needs you much more than your fiance needs you. Check your priorities!

as for getting the real father out of your life? Can't really be done. You share a child. He will always be in your life. The truth!

betty s/nikoly

i have a friend who stopped adoption took custody of his daughter few yrs. ago,his daughter is his life,takes excellent care of her.she's very well behaved.don't know where her mother is. she meant to adopt lil girl.out dad got custody before it happened. that's one man to be proud of

cantstopLinnyG

One person's rude is another person's truth. You have no right to keep your son away from his father. Maybe he was frightened. Maybe he wasn't sure the baby was his. I mean, let's face it- you are "deeply in love" with another man and your child is only 2 months old.

Step up to the plate and be a real woman. A real woman and a good mother would never keep their child away from their father, whether you like him or not.

If he is a danger to the child, the courts will determine that. There is no reason you cannot get married to another man and allow your son to have a wonderful relationship with his new stepfather, but he HAS a father already.

There's no reason for him to want to "take him from you", either...UNLESS you are putting the baby in danger, or abusing him. And, yes, some courts consider a parent who refuses another parent visitation with their child abusive. Be very careful- YOU could be the one getting hurt, too...NOT just your son.

pipsqueekers9900

I have been in that exact situation. My daughters father filed a custody suit against me when he found out that I was engaged( two months after my daughter was born) Up until that time he wanted nothing to do with her. If your ex has filed for custody he has to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are an unfit mother in order to have the child taken from you. You need to seek legal advice. Depending on your financial situation you can get help from a Legal services Center. Most states have them. You can check with a family services office they may be able to give you a number to call. They can help you get in contact with an attorney and if needed help you with the legal costs. I am assuming that you are wanting to do a step parent adoption. If so you definitely need an attorney. The child's father will have to sign a consent and waiver for the adoption to go through without a hitch otherwise a court will have to terminate his rights. It is a huge undertaking to make that happen. Like said seek legal advice. If there is already a custody suit filed you will not be able to attempt a step parent adoption until everything is finalized with the custody, I wish you the bast of luck.

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