Someone told me that the approximate ages when adoptees have the most issues are 7 and 12?

purple monkey dishwasher

I think its because that is the ages where you start becoming more aware of who you are and where you came from. It can be very hard even if you love your adoptive family. You always know in the back of your mind that you are different. You cant help but wonder where you really came from. I would say about the age of 9 I already knew I was much different than my adoptive family. I really longed to have someone to look like, act like ect.

almost human

for me it was age 43
i tried to contain my issues until my parents died

prominent adoption psychologists should try being adopted, then they wouldn't give out such ridiculous generalizations.

the only generalization i can make is adoptees try to make the best of whatever situation they are placed in.

their issues come out in all manner of times and places, each unique to each adoptee, and typically the adopted person is left to work them out on their own, since rarely does anyone around them understand or is sympathetic to the adoption experience/perspective.

Lamont

I would say that's true and it's good to bring a child up so they always know they are adopted from day one. I was 9 when I found out my stepfather wasn't really my father and I was crushed - my father had abandoned me. Not the same as being an adoptee, but I can relate. It was a very stupid decision my mom made by not telling me until then.
I think all kids go through issues during puberty and you don't need to put any other stressors on them at that time. As long as they know they're adopted and have open communication with adoptive parents, it's fine

sunny

Oh, a prominent adoption shrink, eh? Care you cite your source?

I believe most adoptees have 'issues' when they become more conscious of the world, maybe 6 or 7.

The issues don't end, IMO.

there is no 'cure' for adoption.

bubba

sounds bout right.

Jennifer L

It seems to me that I have heard that somewhere before too, but I can't remember where.

My 12 year old certainly can be challenging at times!

ETA: Come to think of it, so can my 7 year old.

Hmmm....

Wilma Duckie Deene

Odd that you should say that - my 7 year old informed me last night that she was afraid that I would just give her away and not love her anymore. Interesting. Makes sense though that as a child gets older that they are more aware.

sizesmith

It's not only an age where adoptees have issues, but kids from traditional families do too.

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