Support from friends and family?

Sofiakat

We also have very few family members in our immediate area.
The support we got from family was when they visit they often let my husband and I go out for dinner alone. For our anniversary last year, my mother in law booked a hotel for us and drove to us (8 hour drive) and looked after the kids over-night. This was a very big gift to us as I will not allow anyone to care for the kids other than her and my sister.
Also, aunties and uncles and grandparents have a nice way of buying pants and shirts lol! just when your kids have outgrown theirs.
Also, just having a friend or family that is also a parent can help to be a sounding board. Especially when you are trying to figure out what is kid behavior and what is adoption behavior.

Kim

It can mean a lot of things from bringing over dinner...
...to asking if you need anything from the grocery if they're going anyway.
...to coming with you to a doctor's appointment to help watch the other two kids while you listen to what the doc is telling you about one.

...to giving encouragement and telling you you're doing great, the kids are great... or just lending an ear and letting you say how tired you are without adding something like "Don't forget...you asked for this!" (You don't need to be local for that! :) )

Freckle Face

Dear Gaia,

Without any support from family and friends i did fine. (we were the first of our friends to have kids, they were clueless, LOL) I was exhausted but fine. You'll do fine. To have all those little extras would be wonderful but not all of us get that. You and your husband will have to do more tag team things.

Now, years later i have finally learned to ask and accept help from close friends. Most of my current close friends i met thru my children, school, parks, daycare, ymca, sports, etc.... The same will happen for you:)

You will always have my ear to vent to.
love
freckles.

Jennifer L

Generally, helping out. Those first few weeks are going to be a major upheaval in your life. Even things like just getting everyone up and dressed in the morning will be an ordeal until everyone gets settled. Plus, with three children that young, you can probably bet on some sleepless nights. One or two, a parent can handle, but any longer than that and you HAVE to get some sleep.

You may need help with things like cooking, shopping, entertaining or even just having someone sit in the living room for a few hours while you take a nap.

Heather Leigh

You are going to need a break from time to time. You are also going to need to remember to take time for you & your husband. If at all possible, you should have a date night at least once a month. If you don't have anyone that can watch the children, you can still do this once they go to bed (if you have the energy). You could cook a romantic dinner or just sit on the couch and talk like you did before the kids came into your life.

If you don't have anyone close by you can still seek support from friends by calling or emailing them. You are going to need adult interaction to keep you sanity ESPECIALLY with three little ones under three... Wow I just got chills just from typing that!

furfur

We used our family mainly for baby sitting and cooking when we brought my daughter home. After about a month at home, it was really nice to get out, just hubby and I for some adult talk. Relatives and neighbors were terrific with bringing healthy meals so we didn't fall into the "let's just drive into McDonalds and take something home" trap.

reneaumommy

I answered you last question. fortunately when I gave birth my mother in law came and stayed with the girls so that they could keep their routine as normal as possible. We could have sent them to respite during that time but I felt that would be a big rejection and harder adjustment. After I came home from the hospital my mom came over every couple of days and cleaned my house and helped with the kids. My friend came and got the girls off to school when I headed to the hospital after my water broke. The girls had rotten teeth (black falling out teeth) and had to have them pulled. One of them had an appointment to have this done while I was still in the hospital. The caseworker who should have helped given the situation refused to help us or help us find someone. I had asked her to transport the child to the appointment and my mother in law would meet her their (my mil was taking the other one to an appointment and wasn't sure if she could pick the child up and still get there in time). The caseworker like I said refused to help. We worked it out as a family because she needed to go to the appointment. Her teeth were rotten and it takes 3 months to get an appointment at the county dentist.

Ideally you will find your caseworker more helpful. If not hopefully you have family as willing to jump in and help as we did.

salishlady

Well, I have never adopted, but I have had two babies of my own. My friends and family come in handy for lots of stuff, like baby sitting, Sunday dinners at Great Grandma's house (if your adopting, something like this might help your parents/child bond), my sisters are always there to give advice or listen to me vent when I am frustrated with my kids, even if its just over the phone. If your close to your mom, her support will come in very handy, like if your adopting a baby, it might be nice to have her on speed dial for when you freak out over the baby hiccuping too much (seriously, my husband freaked out over that, it took my dad 10 minutes to convince him it was normal) or when you have questions about illnesses (baby has a rash, but no fever etc...) any friends or family with a child the same age as yours will suddenly seem like Yoda...they will have all the answers to your questions. If they don't, chances are that they have the phone number for somebody who does. I imagine haveing an adopted child is much like having one the old fashioned way...your scared $hitless half the time that your doingit all wrong. :) Thats where familial support comes in. Good luck!

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: