Teenagers who gave their baby up for adaption?

cantstopLinnyG

I can only tell you how adoption affected me, because I am an adoptee.

While I love my adoptive parents, I will always be sad my first Mom couldn't raise me.

No one will love your child the way his or her natural mother will. Your child does NOT want to be raised by strangers- what is best for him or her is to be with YOU.

Dont be swayed by anyone telling you that you can have an open adoption, either. They are NOT legally enforceable ith the US.

What's best for your baby is to be raised by YOU, not strangers. A baby does not need "things", they only need the love from their natural mother.

Your problems are temporary, and there is help available to you Adoption is permanent. Listen to the first Moms and the adoptees on this site...WE are the ones who know how adoption will affect US, not adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents. They only know how your baby will feel to THEM, and it's NOT supposed to be about them.

Please read the facts about adoption and how it will more than likely affect YOUR BABY and YOU.... your child deserves to be loved and raised by YOU. Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.

Also, do NOT contact anyone who has asked you to, or who has emailed you already. They are greedy vultures who want to make money off your baby, or want that baby for themselves. There are resources available to you to help you raise your child.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....

http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/

Real Moms Raise Their Children

Just keep the baby. You have resources to help you, you just have to look. Who cares if you're 15? You can be a mom and a student. The baby needs you. No one else.

Kristizzle :o)

please keep your baby. my friend's mom was 14 when she had her and tht's all she knows about her mom. she is always depressed and is always tring to find her mother. she is never happy and is always rebelling against her adoptive parents cos she says "ur not my real mom/dad!!" she's always in trouble and is NEVER happy. please keep your baby. it's a big responsibility and it's hard, but it's not the end of the world. you can get through it. one day your daughter/son will truly truly appreciate tht decision.

23andmotherof3

All i know is that i had a friend growing up who was adopted and she always seemed so sad like see was missing something. Keep your baby as long as you can. Every person i heard about who gave their baby up for adoption was very sad they had. Keep your baby and finish high school. It will be hard but you can do it!

snowwillow20

Keep her. You won't regret it. You will regret giving her up. It's a hurt that never heals.
In the end it's your choice and you will have to live with it.
I gave my daughter up in 1972 and I cried on everything birthday and thought about her every day of her life. I found her in 2001, she was almost 30, a grown woman with kids of her own. I missed so much of her life and I can never get that back.

PinkBabe16

Well I know this question was ment for teens who have given up their babies for adoption but I think you need to hear the other side as well. I have 2 friends that kept their babies and I'm keeping mine so I know alot about being a teen mom. I'm 16 and I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I'm keeping my child(I'm not gonna know wether its a boy or girl untill I have it, its a suprise :). Anyways I just wanna say that yes being a teen mom is hard and you have your moments when you think life is too tough to handle but their is also alot of good that comes out of it. Like being a mom makes you so much more responsible. One of my friends was a stoner and she slept around all the time untill she found out she was pregnant. Since then she hasnt touched the stuff and isnt sleeping around anymore. She has completely turned her life around. Its such a rewarding and exciting expierience to be a mother, or to see your baby for the first time(even on the ultrasound:).. I was very worried and nervous and scared when I found out I was but now I'm so excited for my babys arrival. I'm excited to be a mama, to give birth to a baby, to hold him/her for the first time, to see his/her first steps, to watch him/her grow, to his/her first day of kindergarten, to even his/her highschool graduation. I'm excited to be a mama. Granted it'll be a bit tougher since I'm so young but it'll all be worth it in the end. The thought of giving my child up just doesnt come to my mind. What if that child would have a better life with you? And when that child gets older and knows you gave it out hows it gonna feel? My real dad left me when I was a baby and I've never even met him. I feel terrible and abandonded by him. I can't imagine what it'd be like if both my parents gave me up like that. I wouldnt ever put a child through something like that...

But thats all just my opinion. I just wanted you to hear the other side as well. I'm not saying giving up your child for adoption is bad, just not for me. I'm gonna try to give my baby that best life he/she can have. Good luck with your decision:)

Lori A

Opened adoptions are not enforceable.

Pre birth matching is cruel if you do change your mind

Some women never will make good mothers no matter how old they get.

So my advice is to NOT contact an agency or anyone else until you have had your child, tried to raise them, and convinced yourself that adoption is a better plan for your child than raising them.

There will always be a family to take your child in, they do not have to be 1 day old.

LuAnne L

I am a teen mother. I was orginally going to give my daughter up for adoption but I had a change of heart. I am soo glad i kept her but I couldnt be happier. She is the light of my life. I couldnt imagine life with out her and when you have your child you will realize that keeping her is best for you and her.

:'(

my friend's boyfriend wanted to put the baby up for adoption and they were both fine with it until the baby was born and they both saw him and couldnt go through with it. my cousin was adopted and has the idea that her mom would have rathered have a life than her daughter which is tough.. adoption's tough

rachael

i was a teen mother that kept my baby and i am also the product of a teen mother that relinquished me.

both of us had our problems in life. i wont say either of us had more than the other. but what i will say is, either choice is life changing.
i struggled with fiances throughout her life. we never had much,but we made due. my mother struggled with fiances too. even though she relinquished me. she is in no better place than i am.

i struggled with who i was, where i came from, what made me me. she struggled with who she was, what she had done and where she came from and what her choices said about what type of person she was.

i longed for her, could feel her, loved her. she longed for me, could sense me, loved me.

as a mother i did everything in my power to give my daughter the comfort of being herself. as a mother later on in life-my bmom did all she could to ensure her sons had that same luxury.

if you think adoption is going to make all this go away you are wrong. one thing i had over my bmom-I KNEW. she spent 28 years wondering if i was ok. burying the feelings of guilt and pain she felt because of her choice. i had my daughter. i might have made mistakes, but i had her.

adoption is a permant choice to a temporary problem. my first instinct is to ask if there is a family member that can take your child. that way you still have access to him/her. they dont need to adopt, just take custody.
think long and hard. adoption is NOT all good. take off your rose colored glasses and truly look and listen. this will never go away, you will harbor this forever. just like if you keep the child, it will be with you forever.

no one can tell you what choice you should make, but we can tell you our stories. some may be painful, but thats just how it is. you cant allow others to tell you just the beautiful points of adoption. there is another side. and its real.

whatever your choice may be-i wish you luck and peace. no matter what choice you make-you will need lots of both.

Daniel

it is your life but you should keep the baby adoption homes are cruel place to grow up the people that take you in may be messed up etc. you should keep your child and trust me there is nothing as satisfying as being a parent.

Justice

There is no one as good for a baby as their own mother when they're firstborn. You can't know what it is like until you try it.

I gave my baby up for adoption as a teenager. They tell you it's to a "better" home because it's a married couple with money. At fifteen you probably know not everything lives up to its advertising, including adoptive parents. Same with open adoption. It may sound great, IF you're willing to watch someone else raise your child regardless of your feelings and wishes for your child. But those open adoptions are based only on the adoptive parents choices. They can close it up anytime.

My experience is that it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

If you're thinking of adoption it can wait. Nurse and cuddle your baby a few weeks at least. If you are still considering adoption then at least you will have given your child the best start in life that you could.

Expendable

Don't let people try and trick you by saying adoption makes you a bad person. And don't let people say you will be miserable if you keep the baby. It's your decision. Do YOU want to raise the child? or do you not feel ready? Don't let people like "real moms raise their children" pressure you into raising your child if you are not ready. I'm 19 so I can relate to you more than some old woman, and I know even i'm not ready for a child right now.

I know people who got pregnant in high school. Some kept the baby, some got abortions, and 2 girls I know gave up their babies for adoption. As far as I know, all the girls were happy with their decisions. Do what makes YOU happy, not society or angry people on Yahoo Answers.

grapesgum

Every woman who I know who gave up her baby for adoption regretted it for the rest of her life. A close friend told me that it was like being buried alive.

Adoption agencies will feed you a line of BS about being a "selfless angel". They need to make you think that you are doing a good thing, otherwise they don't make any money by selling your baby.

I strongly suggest that you read this brochure written by a mother who has regrets about giving her baby away:

"What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby"

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Do not let anyone tell that open adoption is the "easy" way to go. Open adoption still means losing your child forever. Also, open adoptions are NOT legally enforceable. The adoption can be closed at any time by the adoptive parents for any reason. The majority of open adoptions are closed later once the natural parents have lost their rights.

Lisa

Hello,
Me and my partner adopted two little girls about 6 years ago and it went very well. Of course we had to make sure our home was approved and we had all the necessary classes but since then we have built a new home that is nice and large. We are actually looking to adopt another baby and would even keep an open adoption, which means the birthmother could visit with the child to see him or her as they grow and still be a part of their life, I think this is very important. We love children and would certainly love to adopt your baby if that is what you choose. I also have a 16 year old daughter and I know it would be very difficult to fulfill her dreams and raise a baby. The choice is ultimately yours but if you decide adoption, please feel free to email me and consider us. My email address is Butterflygirl716@msn.com. We are well set have great careers and are in our late 30's. Also if you have any questions, feel free to email me.
Lisa

AdoreHim

15 is very young to care for a baby, but I do know a few that did, and they made great moms. However, that said, please do not take the advice of people who tell you adoptees always are sad, and wind up in terrible homes. That is not true either. I was adopted and was raised by 2 wonderful parents. Because I loved being adopted, my husband and I chose adoption as well. I most likely would have been able to have my own children, but do to some health issues, we decided not too. I know other adoptees that also have had great experiences.
If you decide to place for adoption, I would suggest you go through an adoption lawyer, who can help you with all the legalities, and also they (if the lawyer is one like my husband and I had) will advise you to have some counseling first, to make sure this is the right decision for you. I am very thankful and grateful that you love you child enough to want what is best for him/her. Good luck, and God bless

Baby #2 due 12-16-09

Adoption is a very hard choice to make. I personally could never do it. My sister did give a baby up for adoption when she was 19. She knew that she could not provide for this baby. She had no job, no car, no education. She met a couple and got to know them very well. They decided on an open adoption. Basically paperwork was signed at the hospital and the baby was taken home by the new parents once he was released to go home. It is the best thing she could have ever done for him. His parents are wonderful, loving, caring people. He has everything he could ever want in life. I can't urge you to give your baby up because it will be hard, but consider what type of life you will be able to provide for him/her. If it is not a stable one (and I somehow doubt at 15 years old that it will be), then adoption might be the route for you.

leila

go through with making the adoption plan. You can always change your mind at birth, most birth moms do. But if not she can go to a temp foster care situation while you decide what is best for her.
At 15 I am all for adoption. Your child will go to a loving, mature and financially stable familly. You may be able to do a private adoption where you can have contact, or letters and pictures. Then when you are ready you can become a mom. No one should be a mom by accident.

hiyuhhhhh

am I the only one here you is going to say PUT IT UP FOR ADOPTION?!?!
why, i suppose I am.
Unless you have family and friends that can help, a stable job, enough money for insaurance and daycare, and can manage all of your homework AND after school activites, put it up for adoption. It is not the baby's fault you weren't careful, and i think you owe the baby enough respect to find two great parents who can love, cherish, afford, and care for a baby, without the stress of being a teenager and whatnot.

I had a baby shortly after I turned 19. It was hard, even as an adult to raise a baby. If you are not sure about whether you can raise a baby properly, then adoption is a great idea. I can't really speak from experience about adoption as we have not done so yet, but since I am not able to have any more children due to medical issues, my husband and I are very interested in adopting a baby together. You could make that little girl's life wonderful by adopting her out and also blessing a family that is not able to have children as well. Another thing to consider is that you could always have an open adoption and still be able to see your daughter. Whatever you decide to do, best of luck and I commend you for trying to do the right thing. =)

Derek

I just have to say that any adopted child who holds such contempt for adoption as 'cantstopLinnyG' -- someone who says she loves her adoptive parents, yet makes adoption out to be some sort of great evil -- is sadly misguided, and unbelievably selfish. If her adoptive parents ever read that posting, I'm sure they would be crushed. Infertile couples already have enough pain and heartache without being stung with an ungrateful adoptee who cannot let go of the fact that her birth mother let her be adopted. Sometimes keeping your child is just not a viable option, but regardless of that choice, there are so many families that have so much love to give, and no children to give it to.

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