The holidays are coming...Do you get more down this time of year because of any adoption/foster related issues?

Theresa

I have a headache nonstop until after New Year's. I have this horrible dread of Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. As a child I used to pretend to be happy so I wouldn't hurt my adoptive mom's feelings. Then when I got married and had kids of my own, I pretended to be happy again so I wouldn't ruin their holidays.

But every holiday I feel nothing but despair.

IDK!!

Well, i get very sad. In my Sunday school class, we all go around and talk about our family traditions. When it gets to my turn, I swear that I won't cry, but I always do.

My sister and i moved away from my family in CALI, when I was 16. My mom relinquished her rights to me and then i found out she was preg by my sisters fiance.

Growing up, the holidays were the happiest times for me. I got to be around my Gma. But now......... I just want to get through it. Now that I have kids, i want to start my own traditions.

Now that she has my little sister, I don't even get a call on mine or my kids b-days

Randy B

I get down around the holidays but only because of the commercialism, not because of adoption issues. When I was growing up it was never about who could buy the most for someone else or how much you got but it seems more and more like that these days. I had a great Christmas a few years ago when I was deployed overseas with the military. I missed my family like crazy but the actual Christmas celebration was all about friends we were with and family we missed. A few of us exchanged gifts in the morning and it was great to not have the commercialism to deal with.

sizesmith

Being an AP, I wonder what goes on in our son's first mom's mind. We invite her to dinners, both on or around the holidays (we give her the choice to be around the entire family, or just us), and she doesn't show. We take gifts a few days before Christmas, and put them in the back of her pickup for her and the other kids, and for her, we leave many pictures, and an open invitation to come and see him.

On the other hand, we celebrated extra special last year, because we had been fortunate to adopt (foster care would have had him if she hadn't made an adoption plan already, because of her drug use). This year, he'll be 16 months old, rocking and rolling, and it will be extra special. We'll include ornaments of her and her family on our tree again.

Heather Leigh

DS usually becomes withdrawn around this time of year. I am hoping this year will be better for him. He is spending some time with his bio uncle and his family during Christmas break. This will be the first year he has done this and really seems to be looking forward to it.

He is also going to spend this weekend deer hunting with his oldest brother (24 yrs old). This will be the second time they have gone hunting and DS is really excited to see him again. If this weekend works out, then they will also spend the Thanksgiving 4-day weekend at the families hunting camp with even more relatives.

I am hoping that holidays will get easier for him now that he is getting to know his bio-family better.

opedial

I know this being our first christmas with our three newly adopted kids is that we have gone WAY overboard. We are all pretty excited about it. my kids don't seem to be down, but we do talk about Christmas's past, mostly they talk about foster parents and things they did. Mostly the kids talk about presents. I think maybe as my kids get older more issues for them will be coming up.

I have arranged to meet their other mother three days before Christmas to give her a scrapbook each year of the kids. She is not allowed by court (for good reason) to see them, but I still think of her and what she has gone through in her life and will meet her, give her a little gift, and start this as an annual tradition. Perhaps when the kids are older and she straightens out her life, we can include her in the holidays, but for now this will be something I do for me and for her (should she even want to).

Good question.

jenn

wifeandmom

The holidays are getting easier because our children are settled and we are getting our family to a place where the first dad can been there in those moments. Sadly I would have never thought we would not have the first mom for this time of year but she will be there in our hearts. She will never be far in our day to day life. I really miss her but this time of year I can already feel is going to be hard with her gone.

Tammy K

I get down wishing we had a daughter to fill the void in our holiday celebrations. One of these years we will have that extra place setting at the table. I think of the children out there who do not have a family to spend the holidays with.

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