There are a lot of opinions on adoption. Many are negative. Anyone here glad they were adopted?

emma

I am upset that my crap bio parents made the choices they did. I wish I had not needed to be adopted, but I am SO GLAD that I was adopted.

I was adopted as an older child. I have always known my bio parents.

eta: at some point I will stop being surprised at the thumbs down I get from fellow adoptees for speaking the truth. Adoption is not a perfect situation, but it was much better than living with my bio parents. C'mon people I remember how bad it was and how I wished and dreamed to get out. I did and found a much better life. Adoption can be truly life-altering in wonderful ways.

å°é»ƒ

One can be happy their lives turned out good because of adoption, and still wish they hadn't needed to be adopted at all.

It's not a black and white issue. Lots of gray.

SJM

No.
I was taken from the delivery room.
Yes.

Pip

Mary ~ I know you aimed this at adoptees but it's not just adoptees who have negative opinions about adoption. I have negative feelings about adoption on a personal level because I wanted to raise my son, was financially able to yet he was still adopted quite simply because I was bullied and lied to. If I had the knowledge that I do now when he was born he would never have been adopted.

@ Marie C ~ "Would they rather have been relinquished by their birth families and NOT been adopted? In other words, spent their lives in an orphanage? I suspect not." - why do you assume that all natural parents choose to surrender? I didn't nor did I ever agree to my son being adopted but it still happened because I believed the lies I was told. The right thing for my parents to have done would have been to support my choice to be a parent. So no my son wouldn't have been in foster care he would have been raised by me.

kidmindi

Am I glad I was adopted.?...nope

I was adopted at age 2.

Have I met my FIRST parents? My father died when I was a baby, I knew him then but have no memories of him. Yes I have met my mother and have a great relationship with her.

Bri

haha yeah i love the fact that i was taken away from my parents and im not allowed to have contact with them until im 18. kids belong with their parents, thats my point of view anyway.

Anha S

No, I'm not glad. I lost my entire family in one fell swoop, along with my identity, and truthful documentation of my entry to this world. Not glad at all.

I was 6 months old.

Yes I've met my natural parents.

Pilotpatty

I was 10 months old when the state took me from my natural parents. I was in and out of foster homes until I was six. These foster homes were abusive and neglectful to me. The family that took me in when I was six legally adopted me when I was 8. My identity was stripped from me, my a/father had alcoholism that didnt reach the surface until I was 10, he sobered up when I was 13 or 14. My a/mother has bipolar but wasn't diagnosed until I was 8, and I was six months older then their oldest, and a year and a half older then their youngest. Am I glad I'm adopted? No way! I was the scapegoat for all their family problems, and was the buffer to protect their own kids until I moved out.

I was close to them on and off but I was never able to have the relationship with them the way they did with each other, and to be honest, maybe I didn't want to. I had attachment and trust issues that went untreated. I basically was adopted to fullfill their needs and not for them to fullfill my own, yet I was still expected to be grateful that they adopted Someone Like Me when nobody else would.

Yes, I have met my natural parents. Adoption really hurt me and my natural family, and whether or not my adoptive family admits it, adoption hurt them too because I never turned out the way they expected me to. They couldnt accept the fact that because I am from completely different background, I had no choice but to march to my own beat. It was different but it wasn't bad, or wrong, contrary to what they thought.

Like I said, No, I am not glad I am adopted. I don't like being a fish in a fish bowl for all the world to see, and I dont like being constantly reminded on how Different I am from everybody.

Crabapple27

My boyfriend has told me he is glad about being adopted. He is glad he was raised in a stable, loving home by a couple that wanted him very much.
He was adopted at birth. And has not met his real parents and does not express interest in them.

Honest & Sober

Glad? No.
Happy? No
Then you gotta be sad Sad? No.
Okay if your not glad, happy or sad then you must be Angry? No.

One doesn't need to be sad or angry in order to have a negative view of adoption. Nevertheless, that also means glad adoptee's don't necessarily all hold positive views about adoption. Like with most things in life, it's not so black and white there are many shades of grey.

"how old were you when you were adopted?"

Exactly one month of age.

At nine days of age my parents received a letter from the Children's Services giving them non-identifying information about my parents. It asked them to come me and see me. The letter ends with "If you do not wish to see the infant, kindly communicate with me immediately so that I may offer him to someone else".

gypsywinter

""I am sooooo greatful for being adopted! I was three days old my adoptive mother brought me home from the hospital, she is the one they pushed out in a wheelchair with me in her arms! I am 22 now and my mother told me when i was around 3 and continued to explain everyday till i had a good understanding of the situation! I have met my birth mother and it made me so greatful for my mother who raised me, and greatful for birth mother for giving me up!""

""I was three days old my adoptive mother brought me home from the hospital, she is the one they pushed out in a wheelchair with me in her arms!""" OMFG!! OMFG!! Just when you thought you have heard it all! OMFG!

mommy2squee

yes, I am. The more time I spend with my birth family, the happier I am that I was raised by someone else.

Now- If I hadn't been adopted, my mom might be a different person that she is now, But I can't deal in what ifs- I need to deal with what is.

LinnyG

I will never be glad that I lost my entire family.

I was an infant when I was adopted.

Yes, I am in reunion.

I must add a disclaimer here- the answers from adoptees who were abused are a different story, entirely. There should be separate questions for womb-wet infant adoptees.

That being said, abused adoptees still face a loss. They lost the right to living with an abuse free family. No one deserves to be abused. But they STILL faced a loss. ALL adoptions start with loss, regardless how we came to be adopted. Adoption is the gain of a new family, but that gain comes from unspeakable losses for all.

eta: "I was three days old my adoptive mother brought me home from the hospital, she is the one they pushed out in a wheelchair with me in her arms!"

Oh. My. God. Honestly- I thought I had heard everything, but THIS takes the cake. I hope she has electroshock therapy, because this is some serious schizophrenic crazy pants behavior. Did she wear a pad and take sitz baths for her fake episiotomy stitches, too? Holy God. I am totally using this one in my act. I cant tell if I am laughing or crying, but I know I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

blank stare

I'm not glad.
I was an infant when I was adopted.
Yes, I've met my first mom.

Hermina

Glad to have been adopted. No. When someone had an accident, lost a limb, but survived - would he be glad about the whole thing? Surely not. He would be glad, he survived, but he would miss his limb. I found out a lot about my real mother, but she died quite young, I inherited a lot of her looks and also talents, character flaws - funny, isn't it? She might not have made a brilliant mother, but neither did my adopted mother. My adopted mother at least fed us and provided a house and christmas presents, but she was very immature and narcissistic, which made life very hard for my sister and me. I sometimes do wish, my biological mother had pulled herself together and raised me herself. I have her kind of talents, and she could have recognized them and encouraged me, when I was young! Also it hurts to know, that my mother gave me away. And that I only exist, because my dad bummed away the money for my abortion. Had I had a better adopted family, I could perhaps say that it was better, than staying with my real mum - but still, I would sort of see it like: "Well, better adopted, by far, and good, that I hit a nice spot here, but a sad thing, that it had to happen this way, and that I was given away and not wanted, or had to be given away, and that my mother couldn't keep me. "

AdoreHim

I am both adopted and have 2 adopted children. I did not adopt my kids because I could not have my own children. I chose adoption because I am one of the adoptees that are actually thankful for being adopted. This is not to say that I would not have had a good life with my birth parent. I am very grateful to have been given life. My life was not perfect, but either are lives of children that are not adopted. What upsets me is that people who have had a good experience with adoption normally are told they are living in denial, or that they do not stand up for the real truth of their "horrible" lives. If my adoption was SO horrible, would I have went to the trouble to adopt 2 children, that would have just wound up having a horrible experience as well? I adopted because I had a good experience. I never searched for my birth parents. Not because I did not love them, I did, (even without meeting them)- I did not search because I never felt that I was not apart of a family. Our son's birth family sought him out when he was 18, and our younger daughter as of right now has no desire to search, but if and when she does, we will support her 100%- because it is all about what is best for our children!

~~~ (: ~~~

Im sooo glad tht I was adopted. I have a great family. I'm an only child and they spoil me in a good way haha. I'm their world even though my mom didn't give birth to me. I was adopted at age one.
I have met my birth family. My birth brother and I are pretty close. Teresa ( my birth mom) still loves me just as much as she she would if she had kept me. We stay in touch and love to talk
I'm glad that she didn't keep me because my sister had a baby at age 15 and I'm 99% sure tht I would have followed in her footsteps.

I love my birth mother, 2 brothers, sister and nephew.

a_hunters_wife

I am sooooo greatful for being adopted! I was three days old my adoptive mother brought me home from the hospital, she is the one they pushed out in a wheelchair with me in her arms! I am 22 now and my mother told me when i was around 3 and continued to explain everyday till i had a good understanding of the situation! I have met my birth mother and it made me so greatful for my mother who raised me, and greatful for birth mother for giving me up!

Johnsmuffinpie

I was adopted shortly after being born. I have met my birth mother. I met her when I was 17, and I keep in contact with her. We aren't close as she has lots of issues. She was/is a drug addict and didn't have a place to live when I was born. Because my bmother wasn't willing to raise me, I am glad that I was adopted by my mom and dad, who were very good parents. So, given the alternative...living with my birth mother with no place to live, nothing to our names, watching her and her friends get high all the time and probably eventually be taken by DHR anyway...yea, I'm glad I missed all that.

Sunny, why do you have to be so nasty all the time? Sheesh.

THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 09

Yes i am adopted,i was placed for adoption the day i was born, but because both my biological mom and i were so sick i stayed in the hospital for 2 wks... I was placed with a loving foster family and when i was two they were allowed to adopt me...i have older siblings my brother is 22 yrs older and my sister is 20 yrs older than i am (my adopted parents natural children), and they stood before the courts and said it was allright with them for my parents to adopt me... I have no desire to meet my biological parents, thru the foster agency i was able to learn i was the product of a affair and i my first name is my real fathers last name... I have lived a good life and i took care of both my parents with the help of my husband till they both passed away... I thank god every day for the time i had with them and so glad to call them mom and dad : )

Marie C

I am not adopted (I'm an AP) but I don't feel that the question is being answered accurately. Some of the respondents are saying that they loved their APs and had a good life. What they are really unhappy about is the fact that their birth family gave them up. Would they rather have been relinquished by their birth families and NOT been adopted? In other words, spent their lives in an orphanage? I suspect not.

So they are not unhappy about being ADOPTED; they are unhappy about being RELINQUISHED by their birth families.

Sunny

Not me. Not being happy about losing your family at birth is OKAY. Thanks for trying to shame us into feeling otherwise.

Are you glad you are infertile?

SEVEN SECONDS AWAY!

listen mary, why would someone say negatives stuffs about being adopted? i think is better to be adopted than rather had to live with bad biological parents that they donÂ´t care about you or i think is even worse when you are in an orphan and you spend all your life there waiting for someone to come to you and have a family. being adopted is good because you have your mommy and your daddy that loves you so much. sometimes adopted parents are way better than biological parents. nothing is wrong being adopted cause that means that you have someone there for you to help you and give you love. the sad thing is when you are abandoned and you have to live in the streets or in an orphan were you only recieve food and a bed to sleep but you never recieve love or a good night from your parents.
being an adopted son is the same thing as being a biological son. in this world becoming a dad or mom doesnÂ´t mean you are a real mother because we gave birth to it or because you are pregnant. becoming a mom and a father is when you take care of your baby and you give them love.

iÃ¡m not adopted but i do have two friends they are twins that they are adopted, at first when their parents told them the truth of course they cry, but because sometimes you feel like nobody loves you thatÂ´s why you are not with your biological parents, which is not true. but they have a happy home.

My brother was adopted at birth and he was glad of it. He has never met his birth family nor does he desire too. He says he knows who his family is. He said if they found him and wanted to see him, he said he might go, he really couldn't answer unless it happen. He said he doesn't feel a need too though

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