This Is A Question For Anyone Who's Adopted A Kid.?

Ted DeadMan

OK, I'll answer based on personal experience. Our son was an open adoption from a stranger at birth, we supported the mom 3 months before and after birth. Our daughter was adopted from wife's sister at birth, no support (essentially a surrogate).

1) It's illegal to "pay" for an adoption. What you can expect is to pay lawyer, state agencies and if its a unborn baby some support for mother and medical. Son was ~$15k total, we supported mom (she was homeless) for 3 months before and after birth, rest went to lawyer and state. Daugter was less, just $4k, all lawyer, state, courts

2) Son was about 6 months after signing up. This is pretty random and depends on your critera. If you will take any child you could get one in a few weeks, if you want only white infants you'll be waiting. Also depends if you exclude drug adicts as moms (ours was on Meth)

3) Not sure how to answer this one. We got no help from our employeers but there is a pretty decent Federal tax credit in the US that pretty much makes adoption free if you make enough money

4) We had a 2 hr seminar with our lawyer and had to get adoption counciling since we lived in CA at the time. This depends on the state you live in, our second state did not require it

5) No, but that is a popular method. You are most likely going to get an older child (few infants) and they will most likely have issues

6) At least 18 so you can do all the court stuff. I'd be at least 25 so you are stable in your marrige/relationship and have enough money and patientce to get it all done

My best advice is the GET A LAWYER that only does adoptions. They will lead you thu the whole process and make it easy. Also I'd reccomend a book by the lawyer we used in CA, his name is Randall Hicks and he has written several. They are great books and you can get most everything from them

Good luck, there are plenty of babies/kids that need adoption, just be patient and DO NOT get involved with an agency or facilitator, they will take HUGE money from you and are just middlemen. Our attorney found our first birth mother for <$3k, a bargin compared to those schisters

Hope this helps.......we are happy with adoption!

LindseyTaylor

i find offense to alot of things in your question, the fact that you use "a kid" seems immature, child or baby is more appropriate. The fact that you use the phrase "pay" seems like you think you just buy children. there are lawyer and court cost.

be alittle bit more sensitive and mature about a very serious matter...

Wundt

We adopted through foster care. Personally, I think it is the best way to adopt for many reasons. First and foremost, these are kids in real need, but it also has many other benefits. A lot of people are afraid of adopting through foster care because they think the kids are all 'damaged' somehow; while there are issues and potential problems stemming from the abuse/neglect these kids went through, most only want and need a stable and loving home to shine. (Our older son was a year delayed socially and cognitively when he came to us, within six months he was almost caught up).

Cost - For foster care, almost nothing. Private adoptions can be as little as a few thousand dollars, but most I know who went that route spent over $10,000.

Wait time - There are too many variables to answer this. If you are interested in 'hard to place' children, such as older kids, minorities, or sibling groups, it can be a matter of weeks. Infants, especially 'white' infants, can be years. We adopted two brothers and wanted toddler age or younger, it was a year for the placement, six months for the case to resolve itself, and then six months to finalize the adoption.

Your resources - You need to have enough resources to demonstrate you can care for the children. There is no 'fixed amount'.

Classes - Adopting through foster care usually requires you to becomes certified as a foster home, which does include classes. Private adoptions most likely will not.

Fostering - No. Some people adopt through foster care as 'adoption only', meaning you only want children placed with you who are elegible for adoption (the parents' rights have been terminated). However, foster first has several advantages, you will learn what they are when you take the classes.

Age - Varies from place to place, but I assume you must be at least 21. I think your ability to show you are 'stable' is more important. A 22 year old with a good job and home will likely have an easier time than a 40 year old who cannot hold down a job.

Please don't be turned off by the idea of fostering and adopting through foster care. It is really the best way to go.

PhilM

Here are some books you should read to help you understand this process from the child's perspective:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

opedial

My husband and I adopted three children (sibling group all at once) and her are my answers:

No money to "get" the children; however lots of money to raise them!

I waited 5 years on a list in once province and one month when we moved. We always believed the right child at the right time, this is nothing to rush!

You need to be able to show that you can support you and the children and that contingencies are in place in case something happens (i.e. disability, death, loss of job etc.)

We took 8 weeks of PRIDE training

I was a foster parent before I adopted, but not to my children.

I think to adopt it is best until you are old enough to handle the complicities of adoption such as being a shared parent, maturity to handle transition and dealing with pain children come when they enter your home.

These are of course just based on our experience...it is a rollercoaster but soo worth it!

Zeena

Did you have to pay anything to get the baby/kid?
Yes, there are fees However, some possibly could be waived.

How long do you have to wait till you get the baby/kid?
It depends how quick you fill out paperwork/become qualified/agency/child availability.

Did you need to get paid (at work) a certain amount of money to be able to have the baby/kid?
They do require a certain amount of income.

Did you need to take any classes before?
Yes.

Do you need to serve as a foster parent before you can adopt?
No, but i'm pretty sure in most states you have to take the same classes that foster parents take.

Is there a certain age you have to be?
It depends on the state.Some states you can be 18, others you have to be 21.

Indian-vision

Plz don't use terms like "did you pay/paid" as it sounds like a purchase. You are asking about the expenses involved in an adoption. I suggest delete and ask again rewording it.

Also plz keep your e-mail option open if you would like adoptive parents that are not comfortable talking on this board to share their experience with you.

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