This always troubled me so now i am going to ask......?
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This always troubled me so now i am going to ask......?
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i am adopted from Santiago, Chile, South America. i was adopted when i was 2 months old and from the begininning I always knew i was adopted. anyway, my adoptive parents are both white, you know European backgrounds (german, polish, and russian). anyway what do i say my ethnic background is?? when i was in school i always would say i am white, because thats what my parents said i was. But now that i am 30 i say that i am of hispanic background. it just seems that thats what i am.
i am just curious, is that wrong for me to say?? i don't speak much spanish or anything and i really don't know much about South American, although i would like to do both.
i'm sorry if this sounds bad but i just recently started thinking more about that. what do you guys think??? Additional Details THANKS TO ALL YOU GUYS THAT ANSWERED!! READING EVERYTHING YOU GUYS HAD TO SAY MADE ME FEEL ALOT BETTER. REALLY! I AM DEFFINATELY GOING TO CHECK OUT THOSE BOOKS THAT WERE SUGGESTED.
IT IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO PICK A BEST ANSWER BECAUSE ALL OF YOU GUYS HAD SUCH GREAT, HELPFUL, AND INSPPIRING ANSWERS. I WISH I COULD GIVE ALL OF YOU 10 POINTS! LOL
BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT?? THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE!!
XOXO
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spydermomma
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Of course you have the right to say you are of a hispanic background. You could also say you are a Latina, or an American of Chilean descent, or Chilean American, or South American or an immigrant or even that you have a mixed background. Or you can just look at the person and say "why do you need to know?" Because it really isn't anyone else's business.
Probably at the time your parents adopted you, they were told to raise you as if you were born to them and as if you were white. But sadly this wasn't really wise as it made it even more difficult for you to reconcile how you were raised with how the outside world treats you. And you need to be able to do that in order to have a healthy self-image in a society that is still, sadly, full of racism. I don't know you, what you look like or how you carry yourself in the world, but my guess would be that those who don't know you often treat you as a person of color, not as a white person. And since you grew up seeing yourself as white, I'd imagine that would be even harder to deal with than it would have been if you had been raised as a Latina. Dealing with racism is hard and can really wear you down. And if you view yourself as white it is all the harder, because there would have to be this big internal disconnect. I agree with Tish that this is a big problem with transracial and international adoption.
So I think identifying yourself as Latina would be a great first step. You absolutely do not have to speak Spanish--many Latinos in the USA do not. You don't have to know about South America either. But I think it is great and would probably help you feel comfortable in the world to learn Spanish and learn about Chile!
Someone else suggested the book >Outsiders Within< and it is a truly excellent and extremely thought-provoking book written by adult transracial and international adoptees:
http://www.southendpress.org/2005/items/87646
You might also check out >Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria< by Beverly Tatum. It is and excellent book about the development of racial/ethnic identity.
http://www.perseusbooksgroup.com/basic/book_detail.jsp?isbn=0465083617 |
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LaurieDB
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Ethnicity is in the genes. People don't get their ethnic traits from anyone but blood relatives.
I'm adopted. I say I'm Irish because that is my ethnic background. I can add that I'm influenced by Polish culture since I grew up in it, but it's not what I am, ethnically. |
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Torrejon
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Every single form you will ever fill out says that it is YOUR INTERPRETATION of your ethnicity that counts. Claim what feels right for you.
Personally, I still enjoy explaining that my mom is Irish, my dad French, I'm Dutch...you can always tell if people are really listening! : ) |
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tish
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whoa! that's deep. and i'm sure your parents meant no malice, but that's simply effed up!
regardless of who signed the papers to "become your parents" your "race" is GENETIC!
this is one of my pet-peeves about trans-cultural adoption. some aparents say , "it doesn't matter what race/ethnicity i just want to be a parent." yet, they do things like, change names, deny culture...
i digress...
chile is a beautiful country with beautiful people. take some time, and go visit. and embrace your culture, mami!
ps. spanish is "muy facil"...you'll pick it up the more you're immersed in it.
ETA: mickey, i have to actually agree with you- ethinicity is both genetic AND cultural. race, is genetic. mea culpa |
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Joy M
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I have heard a lot of transracial adoptees speak about racial identity confusion. The impact of no genetic mirroring is profound.
I suggest you read "Outsiders Within" about TRA |
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pura_rosa
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Well you ARE of hispanic background! Your biological parents are from Chile therefore you should check out the HISPANIC box, I would |
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dark eyes
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You're fine telling everyone you're hispanic. Don't worry about being able to speak spanish, do your adoptive parents speak german, polish or russian? |
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Sophie
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I wouldn't call you white, because you're not. Be proud of your ethnicity. You've got a wonderful biological heritage. |
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pixey03
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Honey, it's not bad at all. You know your background and am proud of it. What;s wrong with that? |
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Monty Stone
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its ok to say your hispanic |
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b_fab115
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I don't think it is bad at all to say you are Hispanic...thats what you are. You know where you come from. That is all that matters. So what you don't know much about it. Most people are from other places..... |
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twinsmama06
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This question hits home for my family! My adopted twins are Colombian. I tell friends and family they are Colombian and I will tell them that they are. I am trying to teach them Spanish words (although I am not fluent). I think it is important to teach them about both their Italian American and Colombian background. When they get older they tell me what they want.
I think you do what feels right to you and if you are worried about hurting your parent's feelings - talk to them! You have two separate but both important backgrounds that can be honored. |
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Jennifer L
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Adoption doesn't change your genes or ethnic heritage.
Thirty years ago, it was very different. But today, people in general have made some great strides in recognizing and celebrating our ethnic differences without one being "right" and another being "wrong".
I doubt your parents were trying to be insenstive when they told you to say you were "white", more that it was just the mixed up times. I doubt people with racist attitudes were adopting transracially in the 1970's. Discuss your feelings with your parents, but don't be too hard on them. It's hard to judge actions in different times by 21st century standards. |
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Jasmine
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I agree, you are Hispanic. If an AA child were adopted by a white family, they certainly wouldn't say they were white. It goes by your ancestory. |
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Mom to Foster Children
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You are what you are by your heritage, just because your adopted...doesn't change that. The son that we are hoping to adopt is Native American - we are not...when he was registered for school - we listed him as Native American as that is what he is. |
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MikeyG
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Well, I absolutely agree that you are of Hispanic background, not Caucasian. And don't worry, it doesn't sound bad at all. That's who you are, regardless of your parents' background. You should be proud of your ethnic identity - like Tish wrote, "Chile is a beautiful country with beautiful people."
However, I have to nitpick something that keeps being repeated - ethnicity isn't exactly genetic, but it often ends up being interpreted that way. Ethnicity is defined as "Any specific attributes and societal institutions that make one group of people CULTURALLY (not genetically) different from another." It includes language, religion, geographic region, customs and history. Yes, this identity IS assigned at birth, and, having been born in Chile by Chilean parents, that makes you ethnically Chilean. However, it's not actually a genetic identity but a cultural one.
This just happens to be what I'm majoring in right now =) |
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Megs
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You are who you are, there is no denying your true ethnic background. I assume you have dark hair and dark skin.
There are A LOT of people from Hispanic backgrounds that don't speak Spanish of know much about there culture. My boyfriend is from El Salvedore, speaks Spanish but knows VERY LITTLE about his country and culture. |
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jm1970
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Yes you are Hispanic...I'm Irish and I don't speak Gaelic...worse.....I don't drink :)
Of course it is not wrong. It is YOUR identity......you have the right to claim it. You can also claim the cultural identities of your family if your family was big into the German/Polish/Russian thing. |
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his woman giggling
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You are of Hispanic background. You must say what your birth family heritage is in this aspect of your life. Do some research on the web or in the library about South America and maybe search to see if there are people from Chili in your area. They may be willing to teach you your "native" tongue rather than the Spanish spoken on the streets of America.
You are not wrong in saying you are Hispanic, that's what you are. If they ask why you don't speak Spanish, if you are uncomfortable saying you are adopted, just say you grew up here in America and English was spoken at home. |
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Mark B
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your not wrong for saying that...
personally i say i am a adopted and most often they are fine with that with most places as they know that it is hard to get information really as to where you do come from so just tell them
Good luck |
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Roo
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I think that is fine to say that you are Hispanic. That is your coutnry of origin. That is no offense to the parents who raised you and gave you a loving home. Just think of it as no more different than if you were to say that you have brown hair and brown eyes! Or put down how tall you are or how much you weigh. That is just a fact that you are recording.
I think that is great that you want to learn more about your country where you came from. But of course, you are as American as I am - you were just adopted in and I was born here. Not much difference really. This is your home. I would like to learn about where my ancestors came from, but I am still an American. What I am trying to say is that is natural curiosity no matter who you are to want to know more about where you originally came from. |
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Cam
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I don't think it sounds bad at all. You don't have to speak Spanish to have a Hispanic background. Be confident to be who you are. |
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kenjinuk
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What is important is how you explain it to yourself, no one else matters except how you view yourself.
Some occasions you will want to tick the Hispanic box on other occasions to tick the adoptive family name. Soemtimes it is just easier than having people ask dumb questions about where your from and how you explain without feeling you need to justify who you are.
Be proud of your background, like yourself and dont take anything personally. |
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fastpawsbengals
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Speak up from who you are. I do not think your parents would be hurt by any means as those of us who do adopt realize we can not change DNA nor would we want to cuz than you would not be you. :) Just be who you are. :)
Best of Luck |
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sweetbabyruss
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Oh, stop worrying! You aren't doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging your Latino heritage. NO big deal. It would like if you were black and adopted by white parents. I'm black (adopted by black parents)...AND if your parents were white and you were black, you wouldn't and logically couldn't walk around saying "I'm white". You are still spanish regardless of WHO raised you, so own it! Who cares that you don't speak Spanish. I live in South Florida; there are so many Latinos that don't speak it...BE PROUD of your heritage!
GO TO SCHOOL and start learning Spanish! Viva! |
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hurricanelarry
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first off, I think it is a wonderful thing your adoptive parents did for you. I have done the same with a little girl from Guatemala, and she is a joy to our lives for both my wife and son. Don't be ashamed of your heritage even though you are adopted, but to set the record straight you are an American of Chilean decent. |
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linnora_fates
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I would say I am his Hispanic and white because that is who you are it is mixed |
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Sarah D.
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so what are you really??? just say what you truly are, and if people make fun of you being adopted they're not true friends and its kind of ure parents to take you in... |
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