This is a weird question that has to do with adoption.?

I'm a 24 year old woman. I have my my mothers first husbands last name, even though he is not my father. He is the father to my three older siblings. I also have my birth fathers middle name even though I've never seen him or spoken with him. The only man I ever considered to be a father figure in my life, doesn't even live in the same state anymore and he is now married with children. I still look up to him as the father I never had. I have been bothered by both of my names my whole life ( the whole abandonment issue, with a name to remind me every day) So, would it be weird if I ask the father figure if he would adopt me? Maybe not adopt, maybe like a Godfather, but I'm not Catholic. Does this make any sense? Like an 'adoption' without obligations. Would that be completely weird? Should I just leave it alone?

JennaBear

I don't think it's weird if you ask him to adopt you.

Or you could simply just change your last name. I'm changing all 3 of my names when I get married in a few months because I've never gone by my first name, my middle name is completely lame, and I'll take my honey's last name. I'm moving my current last name to be my middle name.

I also know a girl who got divorced and just made her middle name her last name, so you totally have options to change your name if your father figure doesn't want to go the legal adoption route.

Pd S

You are old enough to file a petition with your local court for a name change. You just have to prove that you are not changing your name to avoid debt collectors.

Unless you "need" for this man to adopt you, you can change your middle and last names to anything you want and it would cost less too.

Good luck!

Just a Mom

You can change your name without an adoption. I did.

Lex

If it's something you truly feel needs to happen, talk to him and see what he thinks. Ultimately, having his last name will change nothing about how you feel about what happened before. This man was your father in every way that mattered and that's a gift. The others - they don't matter.

sizesmith

No, especially since you consider him your dad. We have a family member who couldn't adopt his step-daughter as a minor, and their state doesn't allow adult adoption, so she changed her name, legally, to his, and they had a ceremony, kind of like a wedding one, at their church (Baptist), to affirm their family.

Also, in many states, he can legally adopt you, although depending on what the situation is, he might need to update his will to make everything the way it should be, because it will have to mention you, even if it's for a penny inheritance. Good luck!

minmin

why dont you change your name to your mothers last name and drop the middle name? if you would rather have his name, talk to him and see how he would feel. i think if it were me though, i would take my mothers name.

gstalt

In every culture when you change your name you change who you are. This may be the right first step; what you are proposing seems radical.

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