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To adopt or not to adopt?
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To adopt or not to adopt?

My husband's cousin is 30-something weeks pregnant. She is mildly retarded and has a drug problem. She cannot support herself, let alone a child. The father of her baby is not in the picture, either. She said she would like to keep the baby in the family and wants me and my husband to adopt it. I told her we'd think about it. I'd love to, but I am not sure. I already have four little ones...I know this is my decision, but what should I do?


    




Raven
Are you prepared to take care of another child? Especially a baby which will most likely have special needs? How does your husband feel about it? How do your children feel about it? It would be a large commitment for the whole family, and the decision should probably be made as a family.


Lexi B
Rating
I believe that if there is anyway you can make someone's life dramatically better, you should do it. You will be rewarded for your kindness and genorosity. Yet you should only adopt, if you can handle the responsibility of another child. One form of neglect to another is all the same.


I Love A Child With Autism!!!
Rating
If it is in your power to care for the child, then please do. If possible, try to keep the child in contact with her first mother, it will turn out best in the long run.


Sam T
Rating
Adopt the child. If she is going to put her up for adoption then take her and she can at least


Lillie
How close are you to this woman? Is there any way they two of you can help her parent her child? Is there anyone in the family who can?

Drug problems can be overcome; and with help, mildly retarded people can raise a child. I don't know the extent of her disability but is there any way you can care for the child, become the legal guardians, while still allowing her to be the child's legal mother?

You could care for the baby while helping her learn how to be a mother. Teach her the skills necessary to parent her child. See how it works for a length of time before you all make any decisions about adoption.

You never know...with some help, she may be able to be a parent; but if not, at least you know you tried and can continue with adoption at a later date.



Mommy of Kaylee and Anthony
Rating
That child needs to go somewhere other than her birth mom. I'm very glad that your hubby's cousin is mature enough to realize that. If she is mildly retarded, ask her doctor how much possibility the child will be similar, and how healthy the baby will be since she's a drug user. You already have 4 kids, and if the baby isn't going to be healthy or normal, you will have your hands fuller than you may be able to handle. Good luck.


Annabelle
If I were you I would adopt the baby


lala_sun
Rating
Well, since I am a third party insight I would have to say that you need to think about the downsides to the situation. Since the mother has mental problems and on drugs (currently?) that there is a big % that this baby will be born with major needs. You have 4 children that need you already. Your time and $ will be strecthed to help the new baby. You have to put the welfare of the 4 kids first because those were your decisions. This baby is her decision. If she wants to put the baby up for adoption there are many other familys that will want the child. I wouldnot let her bad decisons make you feel guilty. If you bail her out this time she will keep using you in the future esp if you have her baby.
If it were me unless I was a stay at home mom and very wealthy and had other family support to agree to help with the child, I would not adopt.


Lori A
Rating
I have not read any other answers here but if you can keep that child within the family and not cause serious hardship to your existing family I'd say do it, for the child. It will be keeping that child's family in tact, medical history, ancestry, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...

This is far more important than some seem to realize. Besides it would be a blessing for the woman who already has enough challenges in her life, to know where her child is and that he/she is being cared for.


stay@homemomma
Rating
What's in your heart. What is right for your family. What is right for you. Good luck. God bless.


Celeste Jean
Rating
adopt


krystalcena
adopt i think that leaving the child with the parent is ...... wierd





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