sizesmith
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I recently had a long conversation with my mother-in-law after the adoption of my son. We didn't know she'd given up a child for adoption in the 60's, when being a single mom was just too taboo. The decision affected her entire life. Not only did she think of him every day, worry everytime she saw a wreck or a storm in the area he was adopted, but she also had no idea how to tell her family, and how to find him. She ended up being a very stressed woman, and one day ended up in the hospital. Being reunited was just the push she needed, and has been having much better health now!The adoption was done in a small town, and about everyone in town knew.
To make a long story short, they were re-united, and slowly the family has been getting to know one another. On father's day, our adoption was final that week, we were surprised with an early grandchild born (fine), and "J" called his brother. We now know that it takes over 3 hours for the cell phone battery to go dead. The re-union has been wonderful, and I feel all were lucky, because he loves his adoptive parents, and feels blessed to have been placed, and is loving being re-united at the same time. His kids and family have shared many pictures in just a few hours on myspace. We also had curiosity of how it felt to be adopted, because on this forum, I see so many negative things about it, and it was great to meet a happy adoptee, especially since we are raising our son who happens to be adopted. Both have so many similarities, it's unreal. Both golf, fish, hunt, and both have raised children who couldn't be adopted because of the bio fathers (both deadbeats), and both had tried adult adoption to their older kids, so it seems like there are a lot of genetics involved there.
Also remember, a person who is old enough to be your mother might not have been educated about the internet, and might not know how easy it is to trace you now. There are many registries, and hopefully, one day you'll have a happy reunion also. When you were given up for adoption, it was different than today, where open adoptions are commonplace. What I've seen is 7 different people who were adopted that ended up knowing at least 1-3 of their biological relatives after they were reunited and put the pieces together. I bet your first mom had so many regrets. In most of the cases of adoption, especially private adoption, the first moms just were overwhelmed with being single parents, and kids don't come with instruction books. This can lead to poor choices, and I bet she thinks about you a lot, like every time she sees a baby, or a woman your age, or a child with the same hair color. She probably wonders if you look like her. |
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