Typically, when an infant in the U.S. is relinquished for adoption, isn't it more often the MAN...?

Heather B

This is a very interesting question. I always question the assumption that a woman "got HERSELF pregnant" lol. All by herself, well fancy that

I think you are right, the women appear to bear the brunt of all the grief and judgment.

On the other hand there have been cases when the fathers rights have been trampled all over also. Responsible fathers are losing their children through unethical adoption practices

Joy M

I am not sure about the stats, but often it seems to be the woman and her lack of familial support, or actually, I would say most often the maternal grandparents guiding the decision, although there are alwasy exceptions, esp. now when so many relinquishing parents are actually older women, in their 20's who are making the plan on the assumption that it is a non-event for the adoptee, that they do not hold an irreplaceable position in the adoptee's life.

Outside of that, I would agree with you, having a partner that does not support a pregnancy/child is DEVASTATING. I remember it well...

Isabel A

You also have to keep in mind that in most states, underage people can not marry without parental consent, even today.
I'm not saying this is the case all the time, but it does happen.
And the other reality is that there are men out there who do not even know that they fathered a child because they are never told.

Rainia W

How is adoption a second-best option? Also, a lot of fathers aren't aware that they impregnated a girl, or there are plenty of cases where the father wants to keep the child but the mother would rather give it up.

sunny

Yes, I see your point.

OTOH, should a woman choose abortion, the MAN has no choice.

And should she chose to have the baby without his marrying her, he is on the hook for 18 years of child support.

Both parties are responsible, IMHO.

Mary Guernsey

yes

amyburt40

What I have noticed researching adoption as I have. Fathers who do stand up get shafted by either the agency or the natural mother. On the other hand, I have seen mothers get shafted by fathers who don't want responsibility.

One of the states is doing a volunteer father registry and the local newspaper did a story on it. Many men saw it as a way for mothers to get child support. What they fail to realize and many still do is that it protects their right to parent.

In these cases with fathers being mentioned all over the internet, these fathers did the right thing. They registered on the putative father registries in various states. Some cases the mothers jumped states. Two of those cases the agencies were trying to come up with tactics to force the fathers to relinquish. I believe in two cases right now the fathers are being forced to pay child support. Yep I know I know. That is unreasonable but true. A father in the United States must be on all fifty state registries in order to stop the adoption of their children. In another case, the agency was willing to have the father charged with rape. Both parents were 16 and 17.

I also believe that adoption agencies have a very strong network going on. How else would these mother be able to jump states like they do?

sam22254

This is how it is. If a woman decides to have a baby or get's pregant if she wants to keep the baby and the father doesn't want anything to do with the baby she can always get child support. If she decides to give the baby up she can always lie and say she doesn't know who the father is. What makes you think she would tell the father so he might want the baby and she is the one who has to pay child support when have you ever heard of that happening. There are cases like shawn mcdonald that have had their child stole through adoption because the mother decided for her self to give the baby away so she unlike most men who pay child support she wouldn't have to pay so no it's the women that has all the say. What should happen if the father decides to fight the adoption and stops it and get vistation then both mother and father need to pay child support to the couple who has the baby. Why should the mother get off free. Everyone praises the birth mother and call the father dead beat dads when in most cases the men would be better parents . Until this changes men are going to have a harder time in courts. Birthcontrol goes both ways,

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