Was the poem used to coerce mothers into giving up their children?

A few weeks ago I asked what the poem, "Your Children" meant to the reader.

From the few answers I saw before the question was reported and deleted (I lost the appeal) I was surprised to learn the poem was used to coerce mothers into giving up their children. I wasn't expecting that kind of a response because I first heard the poem as a PAP in a parenting seminar. To me the poem is a reminder that my daughter is not mine; she belongs to the world and my job is to guide her and love her, but not to control her.

I knew absolutely nothing about coercion before I started visiting YA. The thought never once crossed my mind (call it the ignorance of an AP).

I'd like to know, was this poem really used to coerce mothers into giving up their children? Because that will shed a different light on it for me.

http://colleenscorner.com/Poetry7.html

Thank you.

Sly

I was one of the ones who responded to your question, and was really surprised when I went back to see the other responses and it was gone.

I love the poem, as I do all of Gibran, but when I mentioned it to some other mothers, their response was visceral. And, after listening to them, I can see that it could be used that way.

You must remember that the women they are using the poem and the coercion on are already vulnerable and unsupported, with hormones raging, Despite what our Truly Compassionate Friend, Crazy says, women can be pressured into relinquishing which any woman who has an ounce of empathy can understand.

ETA: If Crazychick is 17, I have been reunited with my son longer than she has been alive. LOL. In fact, HIS daughter is older than Crazychick....

UPDATE: My post was originally one of the early ones, but was deleted because someone said it was not an answer. I appealed and it reappeared. Just wanted to let you know that I didn't delete it. I think it is a decent question, but it, too was deleted some time ago. Wonder why this, of all questions and answers, is so threatening to someone that they keep reporting it. Interesting...

spydermomma

I'd be interested in the answers to this also. I'm not sure I'd change my mind about the poem. I really liked it when I first heard it as a teenager (gee, I wonder why, lol) But it got so common for awhile that it started to bug me, though not as bad as Kahlil Gibran at weddings. I still love the sung version by Sweet Honey in the Rock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n7X7QhfQ4o
(could not find a good video of them singing it, but their are the soundtrack to this cute UNICEF video)

I think it is a good message for any parent. It doesn't seem coercive, but if you are backed into a corner I could see the message of letting go of your children being pushed to the extreme.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

I don't know, as I was not coerced into giving my son up. I, personally, love the poem

tish

quite honestly, i find most of these "adoption poems" a sad attempt to make adoption the same as pregnancy and childbirth, make fmothers into martyrs; and authenticate adoption. my question: why must adoption be authenticated if it's so damn perfect and wonderful???

the bottom line...adoption is NOT the same. and unlike a biological pregnancy,childbirth, and parenting adoption is created on loss, and the child has 2 sets of parents. not that i think all adoption is wrong, but i get a little annoyed when domestic, newborn adoption is viewed only through the lens of adoptive parents.

i empathize with you as a pap. so many are delusional about adoption coercion faced by first mothers and POTENTIAL first mothers.

i also applaud you for at least attempting to view this through a lens not painted pink by adoption professionals and the uniformed.

merci-

ps. to crazychick....

so i guess when the adoption agency called me at the hospital after birth, hounded me just days after i delivered and told me that i HAD to continue with my adoption, or my son would be taken away, this was not coercion. fortunately, i told them to go to hell, and guess what...they could do nothing but leave me alone. now what would have happened if i BELIEVED THEM??? some kookalook on a Y!A board would have simply stated that "i gave up my son and no coercion took place!"

ingnorance of the facts doesn't negate the existance.

Just a Mom

Funny how at 17, Crazychick knows everything about adoption. That's all I am going to say on that.

About the poem, I would have taken it to mean what you did. There are so many things that I didn't know about adoption before I came here. Pretty sad seeing that I adopted 5 kids.

Sophie

A poem would not have 'coerced' me to place any biological child through an adoption.

Serenity71

That was the first time I ever read that poem was when you put it here.

Annabelle

I really dont think this poem has anything to do with coercion at all. And honestly I have trouble understanding how it could be used in that manner. To me it fits best with a bio parent raising a bio child. Although I guess it could be any child.

crazychickizback

pshh no lol. Some of the people on here are just nutso and need someone to blame for giving up their kids. Nobody, exept parents in the case of a minor, can force you to give up your kids. It was their own free choice

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