We are considering adopting...?
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We are considering adopting...?
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So I really love children. I have two of my own, a girl who's two and a son who's almost five months. My hubby and I have decided not to have any more kids for at least five years because we are thinking of adopting a little girl or a boy. I'm really scared to go about it and I need the opinion of someone who's been through this before. If there is anyone out there who has adopted any kids, do you love them unconditionally, like you would or currently love your own? If I adopt, I want to be 100% sure I can give this child the exact amount of love my kids get, I wouldn't want him to be unloved or left out. How did you know you would love this child no matter what he did? Because you know, anything can happen. Kids will be kids, especially when they grow up. Were any of you as scared as I am?
I understand that if someone wouldn't be able to love a child that is not their own, as their own, they shouldn't adopt. But I guess my question is, how DO you know you will???
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P.S. I would like to adopt a child who has no one else in this world
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LovetheLORDfirst
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Well, if you pray, pray about it.
You will just Know. That's not to say that if you can love "another's" child as your own, you could do so with Any child, only with certain ones that are a "match," sort of like finding the right spouse for lack of a better example. Try volunteering at a place where they tutor foster kids, etc. In Houston, TX, such a place is called De Pelchin Building. If you feel like your experiences are showing you you cannot love another as your own, but you still have an interest in helping children, perhaps you should become a foster-only family. There is a great need for those too...
E-mail me if you'd like, there is a LOT of info. out there. God bless! |
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tish_part deux
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"I want to be 100% sure I can give this child the exact amount of love my kids get, I wouldn't want him to be unloved or left out. How did you know you would love this child no matter what he did? Because you know, anything can happen. Kids will be kids, especially when they grow up. Were any of you as scared as I am?"
--please don't adopt. if you have to ask whether you will love a child, seriously please don't adopt...
good night... |
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Flying Monkey #073177
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Take a look through my questions and answers and ask yourself if you could love me unconditionally. Hell I can't even do it. Every adoptee is at risk of becoming a "me". |
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Crucio
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If you have to ask then adoption might not be for you. If you think about it there are people who know they couldn’t love a child that is not biological theirs. Yet how do they know this if they have never tried? The answer is that some people just know these things. It’s the same for people who adopt and know that they will love their new child. There are just things we know with out knowing that our heart speaks to us.
It would be too much to adopt a child and then find out that you don’t love that child as much as you love your natural children. A child is not a pet that you can just return to the shelter if it doesn’t work out. I think its also important to understand that love can be and is different but it should be equal and kids can sense if you favor their siblings more then them, or notice being treated differently
If you do want adopt in the future I would suggest waiting until your current children are a little bit older perhaps when they are 6 and 4 or older and then adopt from the foster care system. |
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aloha.girl59
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If you are able to give birth, please do so. Why would you want to separate a child from his or her mother?
If you're still reading, here goes: You DON'T know that you will attach to your adopted child and/or if he will attach to you. It's a crapshoot. There are things you can do in order to attach to him, but there is no guarantee that he will feel the same way about you and/or your bio kids. There are plenty of adoptees who love their adoptive parents, but there are also some who don't. Some who never felt attached. It's just the way things go sometimes.
A couple more thoughts:
I strongly recommend that you do not adopt and then have more biological children as oftentimes the adoptee feels left out when there's a new baby in the house. (I'm assuming that you would be honest with a child you adopted and let him or her know that s/he was adopted, of course.)
If you want to adopt when your baby is a bit older, look into foster care adoption. The kids in foster care NEED loving families and homes. Adoption in any other way is generally unethical (look up 'coercion in adoption' and 'black market adoption') and unnecessary. |
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