We equate the joy of adoption with the pain of the loss

PhilM

Is organ transplant the only way to save someone's life? Yes (in some cases).

Is adoption (the legal stripping of one identity, and the legal falsification of another identity) the only way for a child to get the love and care that he or she needs? No.

This is the difference that undermines your analogy.

IDK!!

I think how this needs to be viewed is the CHILD getting the transplant, not the AP, THEY are the organ.

If it is a justified "transplant" then the child losses an organ that was causing harm and receives an organ from a DONOR. Sometimes the match works well and some times there is rejection and the child needs even more transplants.

The thing is, it always leaves scars, no matter how much better the child appears to be, there is always healing that needs to happen. You an cover the scars, or embrace them, but they are there.

An if you think about it this way, then could you imagine that anger one would feel if they found out they had an organ transplant and didn't even need it? OUCH! Sure that organ COULD have gone bad, maybe someday, but once they cut the vessels, that's it, you'lll never know.

ETA- there is big Business in organ donation, and coercion too. families are pressured with stories of little kids who need a liver or eyes and they often have minutes or hours to decide. Another similarity is there is also a "black market" for organs. If you have the money, you can find a "donor" IYKWIM.

Andraya

While the gain/loss aspect is the same there are key differences of course. With organ donation one person is dead, not coming, back, do not pass go, do not collect $200. You can't do anything to revive that lost loved one once their body and soul have separated. With adoption the "donation" is very much alive, often very much wanted.

I would never suggest that a woman who genuinely doesn't want to parent be forced to do so and I would never expect anyone to donate a loved one's organs either. Both are very personal choices. I do, however, believe that anyone who has a desire to parent be given EVERY opportunity to do so. I also believe that if someone wants to donate an organ, be it theirs or a loved one, they too should be given every opportunity to do so. Apples and oranges to some, granny smith's and red delicious to others I suppose.

Making a choice about a dead person's tissue is hardly the same as making a choice about a living person's life, in my eyes.

Kazi

One persons wonderment is someone else's tragedy. Unfortunately that seems to be life. I view the adoption of my children with great joy and celebrated every aspect of the process and I relish every moment as a mother and I make no apologies for it.... However, that does not mean that I cannot appreciate the great loss for my children. One does not negate the other. At least not for me.

tish

good analogy.

and quite honestly, i have similar issues with organ donation; hence, my husband and i both know that our organs go with us.

here's why--

my husband and i studied and trained in philadelphia and nyc. almost nightly, the medi-coper flew in and took the organs of young, black and latino kids killed in gang fights to affluent areas around the country. my husband (who was completing a cardiology fellowship in philly) witnessed how the trauma surgeons would call the "transplant team" before calling the surgical specialists (neuro/ cardiothoracic, et al) to help these kids.

while in grad school (public health) i remember a classmate presenting a research study on the "blessings from gang violence" his research attempted to demonstrate how the slaughter of inner-city black and latino kids actually "saved the lives" of others, through organ donation. needless to say, he needed some salve for the new azz we ripped him.

oh...the amount of organs needed for people in these neighborhoods is equal to other areas; yet, these people seem to be lower on the list...
--------------------------------------...
for me, this is the most similar to adoption: it purports to make a "good outcome" from a "bad situation"; and tends to disproportionately benefit those with more affluence. at its core, it's classicism. just like adoption.

ETA: i've read from some posters that adoption loss is a part of "life." so...is infertility exempt from "a hand life dealt"?

LaurieDB

Adopted children ARE the donation. They aren't organs, they are complete human beings with no say in the matter. Adopted persons who are adopted as infants or small children have the decision to be relinquished and the decision to be adopted made for them.

No, I would not call out for organ donations to end. Living donors choose to donate, and they only choose to donate their OWN organs, not someone else's organs (or someone else entirely.)

People really are much more open about the loss involved in organ donation than that involved in adoption. The usually do acknowledge the donor's death. Often, people don't even realize there is a loss in adoption.

I realize there is coercion involved in both. There, of course, shouldn't be.

Crucio

Lara is right the Black Market for Organ donations is extremely large. There is also pressure in society for people to donate their Organs upon their demise or that of a loved one. In order to harvest the organs a decision must be made in a very short time unless they have already decided prior to the tragedy that they were going to donate or knew they would not.

Some people say couples who are infertile should accept that as sign they werenâ€™t meant to be parents. Well then maybe someone who for whatever reason has a sickly organ(s) should just accept that they were born with this sickly organ(s) and thus were just meant to have a short life.

Felicita1

Several differences:

1) Organ donation is a matter of life and death, as you know. If a person doesn't receive that transplant in time, they die. Adoption does not save an adoptive parent from death.

2) There isn't a huge $1.8 billion dollar industry spending lots of money on advertising to convince people to donate organs they want to keep. Please read up on how much coercion plays a role in adoption, and how a coerced choice is not a choice at all. A mother feels pain when she is forced or feels pressure (financial, social, psychological) to surrender a baby she loves and wants to keep. The mother has not caused pain to herself, as your question implies. It is considered unethical to force someone to surrender, say, a kidney or a limb.

3) If you compare the U.S. with Australia, you can see that most infant adoptions here (90% or more?) are unnecessary, and an innocent mother is left wounded out there, perhaps never to heal. If the proper financial and social support was given to a mother as per her basic human rights, she would not need to surrender her baby.

4) Having another child never replaces the child you lost. The loss is permanent, like an amputation. Different from taking organs from a corpse, as the analogy here would be adopting orphans whose entire families had died.

keengrrl76

Tish - when someone is placed on the waiting list, income or social status does not factor into where they are placed.

Some might say that the need is even greater in poorer neighborhoods or minority neighborhoods because of the eating habits of people who might have less income or education. The real problem is that in order to be eligible for a transplant, you have to have insurance (public or private) that will cover not only the transplant, but the anti-rejection medication that will be needed for the rest of the patient's life.

Another reason for a longer wait is the fact that less minorities donate - recipients need to be genetically similar to the donors, and it's just a general rule that people within the same ethnic group tend to be more genetically similar than people from different ethnic groups.

From website listed below:

Why should minorities be particularly concerned about organ donation?

The need for transplants is unusually high among some ethnic minorities. Some diseases of the kidney, heart, lung, pancreas, and liver that can lead to organ failure are found more frequently in ethnic minority populations than in the general population. For example, Native Americans are four times more likely than Whites to suffer from diabetes. African Americans, Asian and Pacific Islanders, and Hispanics are three times more likely than Whites to suffer from kidney disease. Many African Americans have high blood pressure (hypertension) which can lead to kidney failure. Some of these diseases are best treated through transplantation; others can only be treated through transplantation.

The rate of organ donation in minority communities does not keep pace with the number needing transplants. Although minorities donate in proportion to their share of the population, their need for transplants is much greater. African Americans, for example, are about 13 percent of the population, about 12 percent of donors, and about 35 percent of the kidney waiting list.

Matching donor organs to potential recipients requires genetic similarity. Generally, people are genetically more similar to people of their own ethnicity or race than to people of other races. Therefore, matches are more likely and timelier, when donors and potential recipients are members of the same ethnic background.
Minority patients may have to wait longer for matched kidneys and therefore may be sicker at the time of transplant or die waiting. With more donated organs from minorities, finding a match will be quicker and the waiting time will be reduced.

So, if you are a person of color (as I am) and you want to see the waiting list for people of color reduced, then please sign up to be an organ donor.

Zeena

Not for the OP:
I cannot stand it when people claim that they were forced from their birth parents and adoption is just a big mistake, that is should never happen.

True, some people are forced to give up their children whether their children were taken away unjustly by CPS or if their parents forced them, but a lot of times women choose to give up their babies.That's life! Some give their children up for their sake because they know they cannot raise the baby properly and some just don't give a damn.Some don't give a damn but don't give the kid up and CPS has to save them because their parents are drug addicts, abusers etc.

We just have to accept it.Life dealt us this hand for whatever reason.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

No, that is ridiculous, no one goes around purposefully killing people to get organs. (Well there are some, but that is illegal)

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