We want to adopt a toddler?

Independ"ant"

Why not just adopt a 7 or 8 yr old waiting to be adopted. The pickier you are the more your setting yourself up for disappointment.
Think of the pain a nmother feels having to place her toddler. It doesn't get more painful then that.

momonamisson

I am a foster/adoptive mom and have parented over 30 children. I have adopted 4. I cried when the kids were reunited with their parents, not for them but for me. The thing that made it easier was knowing that while they were in my home they were loved, nutured and knew what it was like to have a stable home. That is something that no one can take away. The first 3 years of life are critical. The oldest child I fostered was 7. I still have contact with some kids who left. I have been blessed to adopt 4. Faith is the biggest thing that helped during those times though. Have you checked out adoptuskids.com They have some younger children. You have to realize though that the kids listed on websites typically are hard to place children. Some private agencies help to place children. Check with your local county they should have a list og private agencies in your state. Good luck!

Gaia Raain

In some states, you don't have to foster before adopting. My husband and I are in the process of adopting through foster care, and we have never been foster parents. I think the process might take a bit longer, but for us, fostering wasn't really an option, for many reasons. (Long story.) Check with your local DHS to find out, first, if you can just adopt through foster care without fostering first. If not, maybe try doing some respite care first, and work your way up to foster care. You could join foster care support groups and talk to others in the same situation about how they deal with it. I'm sure there are online discussion groups you could join as well.

Best of luck!

Safia M

You don't have to foster before adoption. There are many children already in foster care awaiting adoptive parents. I recommend www.rainbowkids.com which is a website listing all adoption agencies in the US. You can contact all which deal with domestic adoption and they can answer your questions more accurately.

Good luck

mscrawdad

I adopted through the fost/adopt program and was terrified of the same thing you are. But, after going through the educational program and homestudy, I found that you are in charge of what risk you are willing to take. We were offered a placement match opportunity, but the bio parents were keeping all of their visits and working toward a reconciliation. We chose not to be put up for that match. I certainly did not want to be the person stuck in the middle of reconciliation process after having children in my home for many months. We were offered a placement match opportunity for two other matches that we declined. Then we were offered a placement match opportunity for two siblings who had been in foster care for the required 18 month period and that were in the process of being legally relinquished from their parents. The parents had only attended two out of the 36 visits and on one of those occasions only the father showed up. The children were two and three at the time. We went in to the DSS agency and learned more about the children. We decided that it was definitely worth the risk as the parents had shown very little interest in 18 months. It took about a year of holding our breath having them in our home as foster children before the adoption was finalized, but at no time during that year did either parent ask to be allowed a visit. So, prior to disregarding the fost/adopt option, give yourself the opportunity to learn more about it in your county and state. Good luck.

littleJaina

You can adopt from foster care without becoming a foster parent. You can simply request to only be matched with kids that are "legally free", meaning they are available for adoption. You might be technically listed as a foster parent until the adoption is finalized, but that's only on paper. In truth, once they place your child with you, that child is yours unless it is very obvious that you and the child are not compatible. (That doesn't happen very frequently, since they try to match up families before such a placement.)

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: