Were you mad or sad??????

sizesmith

I was sad, mad, glad, nervous, scared, and most of all, I was very concerned for my son's biological sister.

I adopted my son last year (born mid-Sept), and in mid-Aug, his first mom gave birth again, and said we were going to adopt the baby, and after 3 days she changed her mind.

My first concern-was the mom going to be responsible, and take care of her? -My son was born meth addicted, premature, she never got prenatal care with either of them, and didn't even know she was in labor with either of them. She left the hospital after saying she wasn't going to place the baby, and left the baby there, turned off her cell phone, and didn't tell anyone where she was going. The hospital called me, as the emergency contact, when the baby crashed, and I tracked her down. The helicopter was prepared to take the baby to another hospital and was there, after I had located her, and we beat her to the hospital by at least 15 minutes. She was only 5 miles from the hospital, at the most, I was 20.

I guess in one way, I'm glad she had the confidence and the guts to say NO. Without me, she would never have had the confidence in herself. I'm glad I gave her resources to use for the baby. At the same time, I'm dissappointed, and happy, and everything mixed.

My main concern now that I know she's doing good is the fact that she's broken off contact with our (my son and hers), son, and that the two kids are going to be in class together at school. It's kind of screwed up that she has a 5 year old, she's abandoned to his dad, and a newborn girl that she's keeping, and she placed her 2nd son with me.

Freckle Face

I was sad and disappointed at first. Then i got over my self pity and i became happy for her (the mother). I was happy that the mother had come to the decision that adoption wasn't for her and she was able to get her child back. I could never be happy with an adoption knowing full well the child's mother wanted her back. The mother has the right to change her mind. That is adoption. You have to respect and honor that right above all else.

Zeena

My niece was recently born (one month early, but she is healthy as can be)

I was planning on adopting her.My sister has issues and did not want to care for another child (she previously gave a little girl up for adoption and I did NOT want to go through that again, so I offered to adopt this one)

Well, when she was born, my sister looked into her eyes and said, "I can never give you up".I knew right then and there that my sister was stepping up to the plate and I was happy.

Although I would have loved to adopt her, I am happy that she wants to care for her.I think she regrets not taking advantage of that chance the first time around.

It also doesn't hurt that I will get to see her almost everyday and I am her God mommy.

I'll still help my sis out (God knows she needs it) but I will be more than happy to play the "Auntie role" as I do have a five year old and newborn myself.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

well, i, for one, am GLAD the mother decided to keep her baby. babies NEED their mothers!

Serenity71

When I hear of these cases I get mad at a system that would set people up for hurt like this.

Not just the AP's but the birth parents as well.

1. Why are babies going home with AP's when the birth mother is still considering whether she wants to keep the baby? Shouldn't she have space to consider it without that pressure and the AP's be spared the pain of bonding with child only to have to give them back.

I'd rather only find out about a child for adoption AFTER the birth mum has been through ALL the steps to enable her to keep her child. Then and only then call the PAP's to tell them the news. Sure its short notice. (We had 2 days notice to get everything ready.) But its worth it for everyone involved. (Thats why I don't like private adoptions. Too open for abuse.)

Jennifer L

I think it's pretty normal and human to have some conflicting emotions in that kind of situation. A person may feel sad or angry that they will not be in this child's life, but also be happy because the child was able to be with his/her mother.

allchildrenareangels

I felt just like your aunt. I was mad but, at the same time I wasn't. I totally understood why she changed her mind. I was really sad but, at the same time I was happy for the mom. When you are waiting to adopt you get close to the BM so you care about her too. It is difficult it is very heart breaking. You are mad at the birth mom but, at the same time you care about her. So you also care about her happiness. It is so confusing. I am still in touch with the bm we were suppose to adopt from. I am very happy for her but, my heart still aches cause, I thought the little one was going to be our daughter. Now she is holding and loving the baby I thought for 4 months was gonna be ours. Now I am packing the wardrobe I had bought for her. I have no little one to put them on. I am also packing up her car seat and her comforter set. Then at night I get emails and pictures of her and I will never get to hold her. :0(

Love,
MIchelle

Addy

I would be depressed. I'd spent months thinking I'd finally be a mother, and then the baby would be whisked away from me. But what would I say? "NO, you can't take him back!"? Of course not.

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