What's so bad about giving unwanted children up for adoption? vs. abortion especially?

Leah

Adoption is something that is incredibly hard, but incredibly beautiful. It means the mother know she cannot truly take care of the baby and give it all it needs and deserves, and gives her child to people who wanted children but couldn't physically have them. You are right that abortion is killing. A fetus is a life stage, just like toddler or infant, and is not a clump of cells. All the genetic material is there, and a baby begins to beat on its own when it is four cells big. Four cells! Modern technology cannot detect the beat with machines until a few weeks later, however.
Modern views on babies (abortion) has lead to a lesser view of the incredible process pregnancy is. Also when a woman is facing an unexpected pregnancy (and sometimes in any pregnancy), the connection of mother-and-child more often than not is not complete until you see your baby or hear them cry. A motherly instinct kicks in making the adoption process very hard, but even more selfless.
Just because biological parents may not want the baby or be able to take care of them does not detract the humanity of the baby, and millions of other couples would want to care for and raise their child.

Sunny

A lump of cells v. a human being? This is really PUZZLING to you?

If more women were supported by the MEN who impregnate them, there would probably be less abortion, Matt.

Why doesn't your gender act like ADULTS and support the children they create?

Always puzzled the hell out of me.

Tarra

As if one decision was easier then the other?? There are huge pros and huge cons to either.

It's the WOMAN'S choice despite your personal code of ethics. Men don't carry babies, and you'll never understand. I'm puzzled how men think they can push their moral ethics and ideals on to woman when they are completely uninvolved in the process once they are done impregnating them!!

Kyrin

because to some women they would know the child is out there with someone else, possibly happy and possibly not. They could be suffering or they could be angry at the mother for not wanting them. Scared that they didn't do the child any good but caused them more pain by having them live on.

Pip

"What's so bad about giving unwanted children up for adoption? vs. abortion especially?" - You will never understand because you're a man is the short answer.

"Why would giving a baby away be so hard if you're willing to kill it?" - In the UK the time limit to abort an foetus is 24 weeks. Although a baby can survive being born they are more likely to have health issues.

You can't compare abortion with getting rid of a dog if you can't look after it and yes I do own dogs.

The point is a woman shouldn't be forced to go through pregnancy if she really doesn't want to parent and that would be incredibly cruel to do so. Would you expect a rape victim to endure a pregnancy if she didn't really want to?

I wanted to raise my son which is why I didn't abort but my point is I DO know how hard surrendering is and the pain never goes away. I have just learnt how to deal with it. Reunion made the pain worse as I saw with my own eyes the damage adoption did to my son so adoption ruined two lives not one. Adoption is a living hell and I would rather have aborted than to go through this but then I should have been supported in my choice.

When you truly understand the pain of surrendering you have a right to criticise, you wont though because you can't go through pregnancy, bond with the baby then surrender.

momo.

I wasn't going to be a baby machine to satisfy some other peoples' needs. I wasn't going to let MY child be taken away and be raised for the next 18 years by some strangers I knew for a few months. I had an abortion and I know where my son is right now and I know he's safe. But with adoption I wouldn't even know his name.

Adoption isn't "just" adoption. Adoption is HARDER than having an abortion. If you think adoption is no big deal and that it's so easy, then how about you carry a baby for 9 months and then hand it over to some random "friendly" couple and never see him again? Then come back here and tell us how easy it was.

And it doesn't matter if you think the fetus is just "cells" or a "baby", it turns into the same thing, and if I can't keep him then nobody can.

And that's right, I rather "kill" a fetus than to let him be born and taken away from me. I might seem selfish but the adoption industry is even more selfish.

7rin

Abortions aren't killing a child though - they're preventing a bunch of cells from developing into a child, thus your comparison is like comparing apples and tyres.

myst1998

Again? Really? Sigh...

First off, there is no such thing as abortion vs adoption. There is abortion of a foetus which is unviable outside of the womb and there is adoption of a child ONCE IT IS BORN. You cannot adopt a foetus (unless you are going through embryo adoption which is a whole other controversy).

These two are pitted against each other when in reality they should be left alone. Many abortions are of much wanted children that are not ever going to be viable even after they are born and so the parents decide to go ahead with termination. Other abortions are about not wanting to be pregnant and nothing to do with parenting at that point. Abortions are also performed to save a mother's life in medical emergencies. I am not pro abortion but do not judge another woman for doing what she chooses with HER body and HER life.

Adoption is not about unwanted babies but usually unwanted mothers! Adoption agencies see a young girl with a pregnant belly and they see $$$ flashing... so they set to work on how to get rid of the mother.

As for you being puzzled... you are a male so you won't ever get it. Therefore you have no real right to judge a woman as you will never understand what it is like to be pregnant with all the crap they have to deal with (not to mention the deadbeats who are 'puzzled' about how their girls got pregnant in the first place and bail...)

Sparkle

this has got to be the third time this question has been asked in the past 2 days !!
its getting really old try a new section like politics sheesh
this section is about adoption not the politics of abortion
Abortion is not for me ... but I feel a woman has a right to control her body and when she wants to have a baby
an she also has the right to not want to give her children up for adoption

Love_Silver_Hearts

Would you rather have that woman kill herself after giving that baby away because she thought she made a bad decision? Either way, a life is lost.

Would you rather have a woman decide to have the baby, but change her mind about adoption, because she's crazy, and put that baby in a microwave?

And if a woman was raped and found out she was pregnant, would you force her to keep it? Was it her fault she was raped so now she has to take on that responsibility?

And what about the woman that can't handle childbirth. Should she risk her life for a life she may not even want?

There are psychological and emotional effects no matter what choice a woman makes about an unwanted baby.

Men will never understand because men will never have to deal with it if they choose not to.

LindseyTaylor

Although I do not agree with abortion at all, for religious reasons and do not agree with the abortion over adoption viewpoint I do see why the side thinks like it does.

So many people have felt a pain like I could never understand...a pain that stays with them day in and day out. They are hurt, confused and emotionally traumatized by a decision that they had no say in. In their eyes it would be better to spare a child this pain by aborting them. I don't understand the true depth of how they feel...I can only imagine.

You say if you had a dog you couldn't take care of you would rather give him away then put him down...this goes way deeper than just not being able to take care of them. What if your dog had a illness that left him in pain everyday? Would you consider putting him down then?? It may not be physical pain that these adoptees are dealing with but people overlook the impact of emotional pain far too easily...

Like I said...I don't agree with it for my own reasons, but I can see why some people would. I honestly can't say I know completely how an adoptee feels (I can imagine but I really don't know) so it's not my place to judge the extent of someone elses pain and if they say that pain is too unbearable for another person to go thru...who I am to say "Oh no it's not!"? I don't know how deep it truely goes. You shouldn't be so quick to judge either...

Cleopatra

Abortion vrs. Adoption - not the same thing. Adoption is applied in such a way to make the adoptee feel 'grateful' for being 'chosen to live' and 'wanted by the pap.' It's also socially applied to the mother who 'made the right choice.'

Abortion is a right to mother a child without being an incubator for a pap. Abortion appears 'deviant' because it protests against 'adoption' - of which (we know) was socially created to have people obey the institution of, 'family.'

FlyingMonkeySwatter

Most of the women here will talk about it being a woman vs man thing. As a woman, I take huge issue with this. As a woman, I don't agree with abortion and hiding behind it being a woman's issue is not accurately speaking on behalf of women. I am not militant about it but I can't in a million years think killing so called cells that have heartbeats and toes while inside my body is any different than giving birth and throwing the baby off of a bridge--to me where the baby is located in its development while in a gestational state is a logistics issue and to me not about choice. For me it isn't even a religious issue--it just seems like common sense.

I've personally seen children thrive who have been born at 26 weeks. How about if two weeks earlier they were aborted (legal in some areas). I get a little sick thinking about what that means.

AdoreHim

I counseled women for over 10 yrs that were pregnant and were considering abortion. The number 1 reason why these women say that they would rather abort than place is that they would have to carry their child for 9 months and then "give it up." My response to that was always- "when you abort there are no taking it back, and when you consider adoption, if before the birth or after before adoption is final , you can change your mind and parent." I am adopted and have 2 adopted children, and I could never understand why anyone would take the life of a child because they did not want to parent. The most selfish thing a woman can do is abort her child, and the most selfless (VERY DIFFICULT TO DO) would be to place for adoption.

Edit- unbelievable death wins over life!

tracy

i ask the same thing but really it depends on the situation say if you were a woman and got raped would you want to keep that baby???

Timid Women Rarely Make History

I have asked myself this same question.

kleppe

I wonder this all the time! They heartlessly kill their children and then regret it for the rest of their life instead of giving it up for adoption to a family that would want them.

lantern1701

Because giving up a kid is hard emotionally and physically. It's also a burden on the community - do you realize how expensive it is for the state to raise a child because no one will adopt it?

Save the money and have the abortion.

mommyto5

you re giving the child a chance of life.

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