What Are Your Opinions On Adoption? [Sensible Please]?

Emily D

I was adopted when I was 2 days old. Like you, I'm not sure if I would still be around if I hadn't been adopted. One of the reasons my mother relinquished was because her brother was extremely abusive to her and her mother and she did not want me in that environment (and she couldn't get out of it). Unlike most infant adoptions, my mother didn't decide on adoption until after I was born.

Ideally all mothers and fathers would parent their children together. However this world is very very far from ideal. I do think that pre-birth matching is beyond wrong. In my opinion a mother should wait until after giving birth to decide one way or the other. I also think that it shouldn't cost an arm and a leg (not to mention time) to be able to get one's original birth certificate.

But yes, I am completely for adoption. What I'm against is the secrecy involved in it.

cantstopLinnyG

One person's "offensive" is another person's truth. So, report whatever answers you don't like, it will be up to the moderators to decide if they violate terms of service.

Im confused- you say you are "desperate to meet them, and you will when you are 18", yet you say if you stayed with them, you would have been dead.

While this may be true for you, it is NOT the case for me. My adoption did NOT give me a better life, only a different life. While I adore my adoptive parents, my adoption was unnecessary and NOT in my best interest.

I believe newborn and international adoption is immoral and should be outlawed, and ONLY permitted when the child is abused, and then, only if there is no one in the child's natural family to raise them.

I used to feel "lucky" I was adopted, too...until I learned more about myself, my natural family and how adoption affected every aspect of my life, and especially how corrupt the system is.

Here are some great links to show you what Im talking about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w...
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

Dreamcatcher

I was put up for adoption from birth and I was in a foster home until my foster parents adopted me when I was 4..They are the most wonderful parents and my dad worshipped me. I have 2 brothers who love me like I was their real sister..I have 2 children of my own and a new grandson..Couldn't ask for a better life..Last year I made the decision to find out about my real parents..I understand my mother was a single parent and lived at home with her father..who refused to allow her to bring me home..so she had no other choice..I have a half brother who is a year younger than me..I know they live in the same town as me..but to me honest I have no interest in finding them..47yrs is a long time to start digging up the past..and my life has been wonderful.

realmom lese

Personally, I do not like newborn adoptions. That is about finding babies for infertile couples, and it is a big industry. I think adoption always should be about finding homes for children that need them.

You were abused, so obviously you should not have been raised in an abusive environment.

You have every right to meet your siblings, and I hope you do. Sibling relationships can be awesome. My daughter that I regretfully placed for adoption as an infant, is extremely close to her siblings after being an only child. We've all been in reunion for over ten years, and it is like they never were apart. They are very close, and will be there for each other for life.

I also think that it would be good to meet your parents. Even if the story is bad, it is your story and healing to know.

Ranchmom1

I was adopted as an infant, and found my birth family when I was 27. I have a really good relationship with my younger sister. I too am grateful I wasn't raised in that home, but I treasure the relationship I have with my sister.

Wishing you well.

Philippa

Firstly I would like to make it clear that I'm not anti adoption but for me adoption is the worst thing that happened to me. I was coerced into surrendering my son for no other reason than that's what my parents wanted. I was working, didn't drink, do drugs or smoke so quite capable of raising my son. My son has major issues with being adopted even though he was raised in a loving home so two people were damaged by adoption.

If a child is abused/neglected then I do agree that the child should be adopted.

crzymmof8

I know that a lot of people may give me a thumbs down but adoption has been the best experience of my life. We dealt with 3 miscarriages and a stillbirth and I thought I was truly going to lose my mind. We started fostering because I worked at a local hospital and we had so many kids who needed homes who would take kids who had medical issues. So we fostered and were blessed enough to adopt some of the kids who we cared for. Some we have relationships with the birth families (not everyone's kids are in foster care due to abuse. Sometimes their medical issues are so intense the birth family is unable to care for them.) I am so glad for being able to be part of these childrens lives. I am also so blessed for the 60+ kids we fostered who have since been able to go home and be with their birth families. I am glad you had a good adoptive family. I feel so sad when there are people who didn't and now are so upset with all adoptive families.

Lucy G

I think adoption is great!
Like in your case its better to give the child who is being adopted a better home than just leaving them there in an adoptive home.
I think it is good aswell in newborn adoption because if the mother does not want the child or doesn't think she is mature enough then it is a much better life for the baby and the mother.
Adoption can make children happy and thats why i am behind the idea.

Good luck meeting your real family!

ÑÎ±in Ð¼Î±nâ™¥

I think adoption is great! I mean, it gives the child a chance for a nice home, food on the table. It is better then abortion [not against though]. For me, your parents aren't your parents because of your DNA your parents are two wonderful people, that love you, care for you, and respect you :]

BrookeD

Adoption is wonderful!
It can be the best thing for a child in destress, or even a mother who simply cannot care for her baby and puts it up for adoption it gives people who cannot have children the chance to also.
I think adoption is a saviour for some babies and some children.
<3

ms holli

I think adoption is wonderful, it's better then abortion, I personally could never give up my baby, I was 16 when I got pregnant and did whatever it took to keep my baby and give her the best I could, sadly not everyone thinks like me, some dont want their babies, would rather get rid of them, some do want the best for their babies and simply cant give it to them, I think its best to give up your child when they are infants, less traumatic, im happy you had a good experience, and hopefully you'll get to meet the rest of your family

Patrick H

I think adoption is good because you can be saved from abuse like you were and if I impregnated a girl (note I'm 14 y/o) I'd want the baby put up for adoption and to see it when it's 18 y/o.
Answer mine http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090406091114AARA4l8&cp=2

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