What On Earth is This About?

Freckle Face

Hi Heather,

Saw that answer too. It seems like an extreme answer. Extreme answers loose validity with me.

I am so happy that adoptees have a safe place to support each other. I love that website, because the focus is on adoptees. I have popped in for visits so i knew what i was referring people to. I was very happy with what i've seen.

As an adoptive mom, I support the site that is all about adult adoptees.

As an adoptive mom i would have problems with a site that hated all adoptive parents. I haven't found that at this site. Abused Adoptees have every right to hate their abusers (adoptive parents). That is only logical. Again I'll say as an adoptive parent i found nothing offensive about this site.

I'm an adoptive parent who supports that site. That should say it all:)

ETA: not using the site name directly so my answer can't be deleted.

a healing adoptee

yeah, i saw that answer. what i found interesting though was that an adoptive parent said that they go to that website and found nothing anti-adoption about it.

I have read this person's questions and answers before and there is no reasoning with them. So, i have just decided to ignore them.

Especially due to the fact they think no reforms in adoption are needed. So, i guess they feel it's perfectly okay for adoptive parents and first parents alike to be taken advantage of by some underhanded adoption agency that is not in it for the right reason. On top of that they can't understand that adoptees can have a relationship with two families. So, because they can't understand that, they spew this hatred that we all hate our adoptive parents.

Well, i hate to bust that bubble of hers, but my adoptive parents were more than supportive in helping me contact my first family. In fact, they thought it would help me understand my adoption. I'm always thankful for their support.

I have come to realize that most adoptive parents are like mine, willing to support their kids. It is just a small number like you know who, who feel that their kids or themselves do not deserve to know the truth about adoption.

I guess we all just have to band together and ignore these people who seek to tear down first mother, and adoptees who have relationships with both of their families.
there is just no reasoning with them.

eta---meerkat you can be angry at me or hate me, because i talk with my b-family. i have never told u that u should have a relationship w/ ur b-family. that is ur choice because it's ur life. why do u think u have the privlege of telling me that i don't love my adoptive parents? i do love them very much and i think u disrespect them by telling me that i dont'. are you the only adoptee that is allowed to love their adoptive parents? No one else can love their adoptive parents? i want reforms because i believe in adoption and feel that at times adoptive parents get taken advantage of too.

Lillie

I guess the same can be said for AP's who go to great lengths to make sure their adopted children's bio-family will never be in the picture, so they can "get on with their lives" as if the bio-family never existed, yada yada.

Is it anger that *some* AP's feel toward their adopted children's first families that they would cut them out of their lives? Is it anger at their own infertility? Perhaps this person is in a very low point in his/her life, unable to conceive a child, angry at her body's malfunctioning, angry at "god", angry that things didn't go "as planned"...and then to see a bunch of "ungrateful" adoptees throwing a wrench in her plans of the perfect adoption.

I guess I can see where all this hatred and spew comes from, though it's NOT acceptable, it is understandable.

I didn't want my a- mom to slowly die from the cancer that ate her body, I didn't want my a- dad to suffer from heart disease and die from his 4th heart attack, and all this before I was 23.

No, I didn't want any of that, I miss them terribly, 11 years later I STILL feel it like a knife in my heart, I cry for them every day. It tears me up inside. They were my parents and I loved them with my entire being.

But just as they could love all three of their children, I can love all FOUR of my parents...my two adoptive parents and my two biological parents. Just as I can love my 2nd child just as much as I loved my first. Nobody gasped in shock and horror when I became pregnant the second time, as if I could "replace" my firstborn...and it's the same with reunion. I did not "replace" anybody.

Love is a funny thing...there are no limits to it. It grows and grows and always makes room for more. We can never have too much of it, can we?

LaurieDB

That is sick. My adoptive mother passed away three years ago and I miss her terribly. How dare someone say something so vile and hurtful.

Wanting reform in adoption, and recognizing that some people who are involved in adoption are improper in their approaches, by no means suggests that I hate my aparents or want them dead. That's just sick.

IDK!!

People on this board have been absolutely nasty lately.

I have never understood why people think that first families should disappear, as if they don't exist.

It's so frustrating that I can't even put it into words anymore.

PhilM

The individual is clearly misrepresenting adultadoptees.org, but I cannot imagine why. Maybe they want adoptees to be quiet and be ignored? Maybe they are trying to scare away other adoptees from supportive sites? I'm not sure.

Like many others, I love my adoptive parents quite a lot, and have defended them against unfair attacks by people here (who claim I had a bad experience). There are some who have lousy adoptive "parents" and are justifiably upset with them. But the person in question is clearly just out to cause more problems.

Given the clear misrepresentation of the site, I think claims of membership by this person have to be taken with a large grain of salt.

jennifer

I think its just human nature to want to know about our roots. And if you end up having a relationship with bio and adoptive families, all the better I think, especially if you have kids, means more people to love them.

Riley

I'm sorry. People can be so cruel and I wouldn't let them get you down. I think that adoption is such a wonderful thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to meet your biological family and it doesn't mean that you don't love your adoptive family. You are just curious about where you came from and I am sure that your adoptive family loves you so much and would support whatever you wanted to do.

tragic teacup

I had Tinky Winky's love-Tubbie.

I am such a dirty tramp.

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