What are some positives and negatives of changing a childs name?

Independ"ant"

Positive: A-parent feels like the real mommy.

Negative: The a-child will find out and hate the a-parent for trying to change their identity.

The a-child should keep the name given by the their mother until they are old enough to decide for themselves if they want it messed with.

Robin

As a "younger" foster child adopted by my foster parents (at the age of 3), I am grateful to my parents for NOT changing my name (first & middle)! It's the only thing that's mine...that has BEEN mine since the day I was born! They didn't strip me of my identity. Of course, they gave me their last name.

A child in foster care has already lost so much & had so much taken away from them. Why would you consider taking their identity, too?

ETA: Even in a situation where abuse has been an issue, once a child's LAST name has been changed & the adoption is final/closed, changing their first name does not "protect" them. Changing a first name won't protect the child if the 1st parents know who the foster parents are. Sorry, but I don't get the logic in that...?

BTW...around JR. High I decided I didn't like my name b/c no one else had it. I didn't really like it until my late teens. When I found out how my name was chosen, I was even more grateful my parents allowed me to keep my name!

A young child can easily pick up cues from YOU and agree to go along with a name change to please you. Especially children in foster care, who desperately want/need someone to accept them & love them.

Cherish your child for who THEY are, including their name. Not for who you want them to be! You'll both be happier in the long run...

Looney Tunes

If the child is old enough to understand, PLEASE let it be the child's choice.

Many children in foster care want to change their names, perhaps not at first, but once they are adopted and no longer have contact with bio-parents. Also, many children in foster care want to change their names because they may fear the bio-parents, this can be especially true if the bio-parents went to prison for thier abuse.

I changed my name.
Positives:
1) My bio-parents could not find me
2) I could start a brand new life ~ clean slate
3) It gave me a sense of control (small but I felt like I was creating "me")

Negatives:
1) If there was any decent family around, they would not be able to find me now
2) At first, I used it as a "mask" ~ meaning that I ignored my problems and issues because I was trying to be a "new" person that never existed before. In essence, I tried to ignore my past. (bad, bad idea)

Please, give your child the choice. The choice may change over time, but DO NOT force your wants on the child.

sunny

Unless there was abuse, you should not change your future child's name.

Adoption is not supposed to be the Witness Protection Program or indentured servitude.

They come to you with nothing--can you be gracious enough to allow them to keep their own name?

And if you REALLY don't like the name, you should reconsider adopting.

lindiejon

Hi
If it is the first or middle names I think that should be kept. I have an adopted son and I wanted him to keep some of heritage and so we kept his first name used it as his middle and gave him the name we like. I feel we did not have the right to take away his idenity.

tickled blue

The only reason to change a child's name is in violent abuse situations, where there is a very reasonable fear/problem with the first parents trying to contact or hurt the child. If this isn't an issue up to the adoption finilization, then it isn't an issue period.

Otherwise, it is all negative for the child. If you want to add a name fine, add a middle name, but do not take away names from a child. It is one of the few things that is his/hers alone in adoption.
<<adoptive mommy through foster care.

Jeanine B

Well, if the child is like around 5 and up ask them what name THEY like.. If they play apart in this role it will be a positive experience.. If the child is just a baby it should be no problem at all.. Like I said if it's an older child get a baby name book and have them go through it and choose a name..

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