What are some pros and cons of adoption?

maybe

Con: In the US adoption has evolved into a billion industry built on the backs of young, vulnerable women.

Adoption permanently removes a person from his bloodline, heritage, and generational birthright.

vmarie84

pros: a home for the child, not as bad as abortion, the child gets to live.
FYI: A different home/life does not always mean a better one.

cons: the loss of the child's birth family, no or little medical history, possible closed adoption (no info on who the mother or father of the child was), open adoptions don't always stay open, the adoptive parents may stop contacting birthmother and vice versa, POSSIBLE lifelong depression into adulthood for the child, depression for the bio mother, POSSIBLE rejection issues, years of searching for birth relatives, curiosity why the birthmother did not raise them, POSSIBLE identity issues for the child/adult, in a closed adoption the mother does not know what kind of family her child is going to, she will not always see the child again and vice versa(permanent solution to a temporary problem, lots of secrecy, shame, and loss involved.

No offense to Karen K, but it seems as though she knows very little about adoption. What money is she talking about? Also, the adoption agencies usually try to match of find a child for the couple before anything. You don't pick one out like a catalog. Sometimes I believe you can tell the agency what age your would like and what race of an infant you want.

This is what Dave says," my advice to mothers that can't/won't deal with motherhood: give up early before the child has bonded for any real length of time."

Dave, as long as the child was from the mother's womb, there is a bond there. It doesn't matter the age. A bond has already been formed. You heard her voice, her heart beat, and knew her scent from early on. When you are immedicately taken away from that comfort and person that you knew those 9 months, that is where you feel the abandoment as an infant. It's the tearing apart of the mother/infant that causes the pain for the adoptee. Some people recover from it and other never do. Even animals bond with their young from birth. That is why it makes no sense for humans to break that bond up. You don't have to be 2 years old to have experienced a real bond. That was already done long ago.

Mei-Ling

I'll cover international adoption in my answer, since I know little about domestic adoptions:

Pros: having a new life - not necessarily a BETTER one, but a DIFFERENT one. *Anyone* has the right to live - this basic right shouldn't just include those who are adopted.

Having a set of parents who care about you, who love and support you.

Having the chance for an education. Not necessarily "more" opportunities though - who is to decide what a "better" education is? Who is to decide what "makes" more opportunities, especially when so many people go into post-secondary STILL not knowing what they want to do? It's not for lack of choices; it's for lack of personal preference and finding your niche in the world. More choices doesn't necessarily mean more stability. In many situations, it actually causes more confusion.

Learning a new language and culture. Again, not better or any worse. Just DIFFERENT.

Cons: Never growing up in your original home, never knowing what your life would have been like. It might have been better, it might have been worse, but you'll NEVER KNOW so it's not a fact that adoption was necessarily "better" by default JUST because you were adopted. It's not set in stone. It DID NOT happen. You don't know.

Losing a set of parents who loved you and who could have cared for you.

Having an education. Who is to say what equals "better" opportunities? As mentioned above, having more opportunities doesn't mean you are stable. It doesn't mean your entire life is better. You could have all the opportunities in the world and have no idea which direction you want to go in - so where is the benefit of having all that choice if you're not even certain about what direction you desire? Nothing, really. So, who is to say what is "better"?

Losing your mother tongue and original culture.

There you go. An even balance.

div2wice

Pros of adoption: There are tons, as long as its a private adoption, through an agency.
The baby lives (it is not aborted)
The baby is given to a family who desperately wants a child, usually a family who is infertile (cannot have any children of their own)
The baby is usually adopted by "well off" couples who are financially and emotionally stable.
Cons of adoption: There are just as many cons if the baby is not adopted through a private agency, if the baby is given to CPS or taken by them:
They are moved around from foster home, to foster home, usually throughout their whole life.
There is a large chance they will be abused in these foster homes
If they're not adopted by elementary/middle school age, they most likely never will be
Once they turn 18 they're given a very small amount of money and
shoved out the door

Hence, adoption is POSITIVE as long as the baby is give up for adoption using a private adoption agency.

new gardener

I can't think of any "cons". This boy moved into my life, he decided I would be a good enough father figure and decided to stay. I see no downside to adoption (unless I have to make it legal). Children need a strong guidance, any other consideration is selfish. Financial is often a problem but that has to be secondary to any childs welfare. Things I wanted or needed are now secondary to the needs of MY KID.

dave h

pro's: MAY improve the environment of the child. particularly if the existing one is abusive, but don't bet on it. and let's face it you will be, with someone elses life as the wager.
Allows the bio mother to start again, later, when more able/mature enough to cope.
light hearted pro: child may go on to be good at science subjects as a result of spending so much of their young life asking WHY? and WHAT?

Con's: adopting family (inc natural children) may see and treat the child as an outsider.
resentment and abuse can occur if/when the adopted child is 'brighter' or otherwise more capable than the adopting families natural child.
adopting parents not informed about the childs (abused) history and/or uneducated about the problems that will arise from the childs reaction to losing all significant others and having total name change (from Leo to David for example :0) at age when awareness is developing strongly (2yrs).
my advice to mothers that can't/won't deal with motherhood: give up early before the child has bonded for any real length of time.
it has taken many years (and close encounters with death) of adult life to deal with the issues resulting from my 0-15 years. and i'm still at it, the most withering pain comes when i see friends kids who are 2 yrs old and i see how aware a child of this age is of his/her family and environment.
Love is an ability.

RE: the (so far) 2 thumbs down. ALL i have written is real, the poster asked for pro's and con's. ANY pro is a pro and ANY con is a con, not just the ones you feel most comfortable about. thanks

peepsy

no, Adoption does not permanently removes a person from his bloodline, heritage, and generational birthright. in some cases it saves the child from a life of poverty and abuse, as he or she is adopted by loving parents who want this child over all else. what is wrong with that?? nothing. however wanting a child as an accessory such as angelina jolie syndrome is gross!!!! everychild deserves a good and loving start in life...

Linda T

pros- you are welcoming a new child and giving them a chance to have a great life. you will love that child as much as they will love you.
cons- none.

Karen K

pros- you get money for every year. A new family member! Choose whichever child you want.
cons- the child may turn out to have depression. May not like you. May be made fun of at school. You have one more mouth to feed.

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