What are the chances of me sucessfully adopting a child ?

3 years ago i gave birth to my son ..I was such a high risk patient , I swore if i lived and my son was okay i woulnt have anymore children ..Okay 3 years down the road my son is asking for his baby brother lol ...I want another child very much ..I want to adopt but i dont think a agency would give us a kid because we live in a duplex and we dont make that much money ..Even though we have been togather for 10 years we are not married , because i believe you should be togather because you want to , not because you have a marrige license ..but if it came down to it , i would get married to help complete my family ...what do agencies look ofr when considering placing a child in your home ? I also would like to adopt a child through the age of 2 through 5..what are the chences of us getting a child ??

PhilM

Before you adopt, be sure to educate yourself on the complexities of adoption. Here are some books you might read:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

Most importantly, please remember than a child is not a thing used to complete a family. A child should never be put into the position of taking on that role. It is not the child's job to complete a family.

aloha.girl59

Since you have already stated that you would like to adopt a toddler, why not contact the Department of Children and Family Services in your area? There are thousands of children in foster care nationwide who need loving homes. DCFS does not discriminate against single parents, which is what you are if you're not married (if both of you wish to adopt the child, you must both fill out the paperwork and attend the required classes). We lived in a 3rd floor apartment when we adopted our son through foster care 5 years ago. That's not an issue with DCFS either. As long as your home is safe (e.g., no unfenced bodies of water around, etc.) and you have an adequate food supply, you should be fine. DCFS will not allow people with criminal records to adopt but I'm assuming that's not an issue for you or your boyfriend. :) You will have to provide copies of your tax returns for the last 2-3 years, but as long as you can provide basic needs for the child (clothing, food, shelter), having a huge income is not a factor. You can't provide a vacation in the Bahamas every year or a pony for your child? No problem. Neither can we! :) I don't know where you live, but if you want some help in finding/contacting DCFS, please let me know. I've done it and it was SO worth it! I've been a mom to a fantastic little boy for almost 5 years now and wouldn't change a thing.

Gaia Raain

Please remember that adoption should be about finding a family for children who need one, not a baby for adults who want one.

Adopting through foster care is free. In our state, we had to be married for a year (I don't know if that meant a year before we could start the process, or a year before we could be approved). If you're interested, and willing to take the advice above, call your local DHS to find out about classes and the application process.

wolf

If you are adopting a child, many birth mothers look for parents who are married. Since your adopting a kid 2-5 years old, they would check both you and your boyfriend any criminal history, fingerprint all the people in the house, check your past psychiatric medical forms on all people in the house, including your 2 year old son, check to see that you have a bedroom for the child/children you plan on adopting, make sure the home environment is safe for the child/children you are adopting, check the smoke detector to see that it is working properly, might check your electrical system, you'd need a fire extinguisher in your house or apartment in case of a fire, etc.

tickled blue

Well, for starters, there are tons of things agencies are looking for....but mainly that you and your family are the best fit for that particular child. I would personally recommend foster care...through DSS/CPS. Agencies cannot discriminate against you for your living situation or for your income level....but through foster care, you may also get some help in basic needs for the child. The only thing I see as a 'problem' is a time limit and the age of the child. It will take slightly longer for them to match a younger child to your family....but I strongly recommend that you do not--if possible--adopt a child who is the same age or older than your current child. many others in here can testify about this specifically...but I do know that there are tons of resources/studies on out of age order adoption....and I don't think it is the best solution/idea for your current child's development/psyche. Good luck!!

Regina L

I think you have very good chances. They look at ability to parent. We are not rich. Live in a townhouse. Look for an agency with a non discrimination clause.

JustASuggestion

International adoption in some countries and/or adopting through US foster care should be an option for you given the age of child you are looking for and your financial and marital situation.

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