What are the steps I have to take to adopt directly from the birth mother?

Mom to Foster Children

"Say this is someone I already know, and she wants me to take her child. What are the steps I take, and how much does IT costs?"

Hey - the child is not an IT as you state above and below

"Don't you think it's better for the child to be with the family that can afford IT and is willing to take care of the child and love the child as their own?"

"Chielu, you obviously know nothing about adoption. Do you think it's okay for a child to be living in an unsafe environment with a mother that wants nothing to do with the child? Don't you think it's better for the child to be with the family that can afford it and is willing to take care of the child and love the child as their own?"

Yes it is better for the child to grow up with their natural parents. How is the environment unsafe? Who deemed it unsafe? Why does she want nothing to do with someone she has never met or held? Adoption is a permanent answer to a temporary problem! You should really do a lot of research before doing this. Your question is too vauge to direct a compasionate response.

DevonChaos

Who said that the environment is unsafe? A social worker, I assume since you've claimed this with such surety. I also assume that child services is also involved since this person is a possible danger to the child.
Why is someone giving you a child that they could raise on their own? If you are this concerned, perhaps your energies would be better spent helping this woman heal, rather than taking her child and inflicting yet another wound.
If you are this ready to take this child, why are you on here asking questions if you already know about getting a lawyer? They are the one who is going to instruct you on what the steps are to get "it" into your home.
"it"? Shame on you!!!

mom of many

the first step is talk to a lawyer. Then you have to do whatever your state requires and it is all the same for private adoptions, foster care adoptions. But being able to afford a child doesn't always mean better parents. I know of some well off parents who are terrible parents and some rather poor ones who are great parents. And it is called an adoption homestudy.

Blue Eyes loves trolls

Your first step is to consult a lawyer. Then the lawyer will be able to tell you the proper steps to take and the cost of it.

jitternhbug

I don't have an answer to your question but I do want to support you and say that I think people miss read your questions and statements. You sound like you already know the woman that wants to give you her child. She is not some blindsided woman in the system, as some have mentioned above.

As in regards to "it" you are obviously referring to "it"=adoption process in your question and in your additional information.

(Don't you think it's better for the CHILD to be with the family that can afford it and is willing to take care of the CHILD and love the CHILD as their own?)

You are not referring to the child as an "it", because you do use the term "child" with in the same sentence.

I consider myself a very open minded and accepting person, however when I entered the Adoption section of yahoo answers I was surprised at the bitterness I felt against adoption. Instead of kind words of advice with thoughtful input as to why adoption may or may not be the answer people just belittle individuals that feel they are doing good. They assume your ignorance when in the long run you probably agree with many of the statements they make. Most adults that want to adopt want what is best for the child. They know how important and meaning full being a parent is, so obviously they would want a system that respected the parents.

Just because someone is blind to the system doesn't mean they agree with it.

ladybmw1218

Your attorney will tell you what is required in your state, but at minimum you will need to have a homestudy done by a social worker licensed to do them.

rachelrmf@sbcglobal.net

After you talk with your lawyer he will go to court and file a petition for adoption, and should be able to set you up with some people that can provide a home study. In our home study we are doing it cost $800.00 plus $50.00 each to get our OSBI, FBI and Child abuse checks ran, You will pay around $50.00 each at the police dep. to get you finger prints to send off to those checks. You will also be out the cost for your medical exams. Six references will need to send letters to the home study. You will need to provide your last years taxes. You will need to provide a letter from your employer. You will need to list all meds and if any meds are antidepressents you will need to be cleared by a therapist. Then they will come out to your house for an interview and just to look around. When your home study is complete. this takes from 2-6 months your lawyer will set a court date for the mother and father as well as the couple wanting to adopt to sign over rights in front of a judge. This still does not make the adoption legal, but it is a step closer. Once the baby is born at least in my state the mother signs one more paper and then the adoption is legal. Some states have a time line that the mother can still change her mind after this point. So far we have paid 2,000 in lawyer fees 800.00 in court cost, 1200.00 for home study and fees, and we have a cap on what we spend for the mom which is about 5,000.00.

ce_ben1

Call your lawyer, dont just 'take' the child from her. It has to go through a court

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