What are your feelings on adoption?

Waiting for Baby

I work in a foster/adoption program, and if I was allowed, I would foster or adopt in a heartbeat. My husband and I might or might not be able to have kids, but regardless, I would adopt. So many of the children out there are just looking for someone to love them, and I feel that we could provide that love. Making a difference in the life of a child, even for just a moment, is a blessing.

sunny

I agree with Possum entirely.

Your husband (and most men) are right.

Adoption is and should be a last resort. Children are better off with their parents.

Anything (or body) you have to wait years for, and pay tens of thousands of dollars for is in demand, and the few children who are 'available' do not need all the 'help' that's out there.

This is adoption myth making.

Possum

I'm with your husband.
Adoption is weird.

You talk one women into giving up her child - and handing it over to a family of complete strangers!!
Think about it - would you hand your own child over - or if something happened to you and your husband - would you put in your will that you wanted your child adopted out to strangers - or would you prefer to have your child cared for by family???

If adoption HAS to happen - then the child should be able to keep his/her name (in some form) and know and have contact (if possible) with the family that they came from.

The child's identity should also NOT be sealed away forever - so that the child can never find out who they are.

Adoption should be about making the child's family bigger - not about taking away everything that belongs to the child - just for the needs of adults.

There are literally thousands of children in foster care - they all need a loving family to care for them.

But - adoption - as it stands - changing a child's identity - and the child's entire world - just so another family can have a child 'of their own' - I think is very very weird.

It's fine that you think that your adoption was great - but if YOU don't go into adoption with an open mind and open heart - to all possible feelings that the child could have - then you're certainly not going to be a good parent to that adoptee.

Emma523

How is adoption wonderful when adoption is about children losing? Their mothers, their birth certificates, their names, their history...

How can you call that wonderful? How can you call that a beautiful miracle planned by God? An infant, being taken away from its mother's arms; the only thing and comfort it has ever known and going to something completely unknown to him? How is that wonderful?

Some of the attitudes you've heard recently are probably the voices of those who have lost through adoption. Listen to them. Adoption can be a good last resort, but only if you do it right. And how better to do it right than to listen to those who have had wrong done unto them?

EDIT: Summer- I hope when you have biological children you tell them every single day; "Now, what are you thankful for?" and have them respond "That you haven't abandoned me and thrown me out, and of course, that you didn't abort me. Thank you!"

Ane263

Sure I'd adopt. I don't think fertility has anything to do with it. One thing I hate though is how the media and some people make adoptive parents out to look like a saint, or savior. Most people adopt because they want to have a child, not because they want to save a child's life or anything like that. I really dislike it when people act like adopting a child is a nice thing to do.

Andraya

Adoption is weird and twisted and sick. Giving a child as a loving gift is an awful procedure and has no place in a normal existence.

People are often eager to adopt because they buy into the tall tales being told by adoption agencies. Infants are a hot commodity and are indeed hard to find. The kids who really need the homes are older and considered "unadoptable" by most. People think that there are all these poor babies laying around needing homes. If that were true there would be no need for people to troll the internet for an infant, this is seen time and time again right here!!! When someone is actually wanting to help out some poor "orphan" they should be looking to older children already in the foster system. When they adopt these kids they should allow the child to retain some sense of who they are, thier name or contact with their natural family for instance.

Until we all accept that infant adoption shouldn't be socially acceptable people will continue to think that adoption is such a wonderful thing.

Go back and look through the posts written by actual adult adoptees and tell me that adoption is the grand plan it is made out to be. Tell me who is gaining and who is losing out here?

Look Away, I'm Hideous

my wife and I have thought about it. she wants to carry a child if at all possible.

grapesgum

I would adopt only if the child were truly an orphan. By truly an orphan I don't mean the the adopted children of people who go to other countries and have the children declared orphans via a twisted "court" system even though the first parents are still alive. (Nice convenient way of disposing of the first family - huh?) If I could adopt an orphan, I would try to find out all I could about the child's deceased parents and make sure that the child knew them as their first parents.

For the vast majority of children who are not truly orphans, I don't think that I could bear to break the bond between them and their parents (even if they were not such great parents). I would try to help in other ways or consider a guardianship. My husband and I were presented with a "situation" where we could have taken a relative's child. We declined and helped the mother parent instead. Her parents came around too and helped her. I am not a possessive person so I do not feel the need to "acquire" children, but I do love to help other people with their children.

emerald_wang85

My grandmother was a foster parent for 30 years so I got to see the inside behind adoption. There are tons of kids out there looking for a good home, so its great if you're thinking about adoption. Even if you can have kids, I think it's great to adopt. It's the older kids that have the hardest times finding homes and they seem to carry the most grief about it. My grandma ended up adopting three children of the many children she had come through her home. One of them (my uncle) even has a mental disability and still lives with them. My aunt, their biological daughter adopted two more of my grandmother's foster children.

Terrance M

well im adopted....although my parents have kept that secret from me even now.
they dont know that I know that i already that im adopted.

i think its okay...

Pearlofgreatprice

I think adopting is great but if you adopt you need to tell your child. I feel very hurt when I think of my biological mother and father and also my step brother. I feel sad that I do not know them. I think you should tell them that they are adopted.

Crucio

I think adoption can be an option regardless if the couple / person can have a natural child. There are so many children in this world that need a loving home and family. I hope to be able to one day adopt regardless if i can have natural kids.

Adoption is fine as long as itâ€™s done legally. People wanting to adopt should read opinions of a number of adoptees good and bad, that way they can deal with whatever part of the spectrum their adopted child(ren) landed on. They should also be truthfully with their adopted child, and share any information the child asks for if appropriate for their age.

a healing adoptee

Personally, I have no problem with adopting. I just worry how I would be as a mother. Sometimes i feel that i have a low tolerance of patience. But people that adopt they are okay with me, I don;t shun them. The only time I have a problem is when people adopt and refuse to tell the child they are adopted.

jaba

i plan to adopt at least one kid.i also plan to have my own orphanage because i cant bear to see poor kids homeless and hurting.i think all the people that have adopted will surely be blessed in one way or the other.i only hope more people try to adopt or donate things for orphans

*y*

I know that if I couldn't have kids of my own that I would definitely adopt.

But, seeing as though I can have kids of my own I'm not sure what I would do. I know I at least want 1 biological child..after that, I'm not sure what would happen. I guess if we felt led to adopt and we had the money I would do it.

Katie S

I think adoption is a beautiful thing, but it certainly isn't for everyone.

While most people turn to adoption as a last resort when they can't have biological children, I hope to adopt one day in addition to having biological children. I love the idea of bringing a child into our lives and giving him something he wouldn't have otherwise had- a loving family.

This isn't always a popular idea. Some families are reluctant to accept a child without their genetic material, especially if the child is of a different race or religion. Some may believe "if you can't have kids, maybe you weren't supppsed to". Some fear bringing an adopted child into the family is asking for trouble--especially if the child isn't a baby when adopted, and has suffered psychological trauma of some sort (my opinion is these kids need homes just as much if not more than the others). My mother thinks adoption is just an effort to "save the world", but it's not that at all...it's about the child, and the experience and love they bring to the rest of the family. And I look forward to that :)

BPD Wife

I had always wanted to adopt - even before meeting my husband. My "plan" was to adopt a child as well as to have a biological child. However, God's plan was much different for us once we were married. We were unable to have children so adoption of course was the only way we could start a "family". We chose adoption for what some would consider selfish reasons - we wanted a family - but we also chose it because we felt that there were children out there who needed homes. Whether right or wrong in the reason we chose to adopt, we love our son dearly and would do anything to make him happy, including helping to search for his first parents when the time comes.

Loba

if you want to have kids yourself, than that is fine. who doesn't?
but i also think somebody needs to do something for homeless/orphan kids. you don't have to adopt, but just a little food or some toys would mean the world to some kids.

Bouvier

If it were not for the adopton option............I never would have been able to experience motherhood. I cannot imagine missing that joy in life.

Katharyn T

U think that it makes a inpact on kids. There are all ready sooo many children in the world that need homes.And I think it would be cool to make that impact. Now i also think that u can adopt even if u can have ur own. Like u can have 2 kids of ur own, and adopt one that way ur getting whatu want and u also make an impact upon a kid in need.

kiaangel86

my sister is adopted and i wouldn't have it any other way!!!

I love children, always have and always will. Of course i would want to have children of my own, but i would really really like to adopt. Of course it is easier if you adopt a baby, but i would really like to adopt an older child. They need as much love and care as very one else. A few weeks ago i coworker showed me a picture of the cutest 12 year old boy that needed a home, my heart broke in two pieces. First thing i did was call my mother to see if my parents would be willing to adopt him, but they said no because older kids are so much harder to keep an eye on and always have anger problems, which is true because when you get older you can feel much more rejected and neglected. But again to the subject adoption is a wonderful thing, just think your taking someone into your home and making me feel loved and what more can you ask for but to see a young boy/girl smile and having them love you as much as you love them!!

daisylady

i have a child of my own, and i would love to adopt.. my brother and his wife want to have kids of their own as well, and adopt.. there are so many kids out there that need families.. and it's such a blessing to help them..

I would love to adopt. Because I would love to help a child that doesn't have a home, or can't be taken care of. I'd also prefer to adopt from other countries like Africa, Asia, and 3rd world countries. I think it's always an option. Although I heard the adoption process is long and expensive.

PcaB

I think its great. If your emotions are intact and your financially able to. It is expensive.

tayla

I am still a teenager, but when I get older I want to have biological and adopted children. I think that adoption is a great thing and it is something I really want to do.

jay

i've known my whole life that i wanted to be a mommy. if i could not physically make my own biological children, i would definitly be willing to adopt. so many children out there need families...why not make one part of mine.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: