What are your opinions on open adoptions?

purple monkey dishwasher

As an adoptee, I feel that every child should remain with their birthfamily if possible. But obviously that is not always possible, so in those cases open adoption is a MUCH better choice than a closed adoption.

Heather B

When adoption is absolutely necessary, I think open and honest adoptions are in the best interests of the child

Freckle Face

openness and honesty over secrets and lies.

Open adoptions don't always work for a variety of reasons but keep trying for the sake of the child involved.

Tif D

My husband & I are looking to adopt right now, we are hoping to have a very open adoption. We feel it is the best option for our child and the mother that blessed us with her/him. We think it is the least we can do!

BLW_KAM

We live and breath open adoption every day. No, we don't have contact every day, but the door, the phone line, the Internet is always open. It's the life we're living ... by choice.

My daughter is ten and she's always knows she was adopted. She has no confusion over who her natural mother is and who her everyday nagging mother is (that would be me). Since it's all she's ever known, it's normal for her.

We entered into the arrangement with a gut feeling this was the best thing for her. She deserves to have connections to those people who brought her into this world. She deserves to know the truth and to be able to reach out and get answers to her questions.

Her natural mother deserves to be treated with dignity and not reduced to an incubator who delivered the goods and is now pushed to the side. She deserves to know how her daughter is doing and to be able to reach out and touch her.

I am 100% in support of open adoptions as long as they do not pose an emotional or physical danger to the child.

I think it is best in a lot of situations. My children's biological mother decided she didn't want them after they were 9 months and 23 months old. Sadly, she chose drugs over them. We knew the affect it would have on them if they never saw her again so we chose open adoption. If the biological parent's want to see their children and won't do more harm than good then open adoption is the best route. On the other hand, it isn't safe for some parent's to be around their children for different reasons. It all depends on the situation. The only thing that should matter when deciding open or closed adoption is what is best for the child or children not the parent's.

My kids don't love me or their other mother any less and it doesn't make our relationship strained. Anyways, it's about what is best for the child not the parent wether it be the adoptive parent or the biological parent. Open adoption doesn't work for everyone but it does work for some people.

I agree with BLW-KAM.

Mel

I'm not really for it. I think it opens everything up to more confusion, hurt feelings, insecurity, etc. on everyone's part. Once you give up that baby, it is no longer your baby - you are not the parent anymore. I think continuing to be around and hanging out with the new adoptive parents kinda blurs the lines between fantasy and reality. The new family needs to create their own world, without the sad birthmother wallowing around in the background. I know it sounds harsh.......I'm really thinking of what's in the absolute best interest of the baby and its new family.

mom of many

I say whatever works for the people involved. In some cases open adoption wouldn't work. But I am pleased that more adoptions are open then the way it used to be.

Whittni

I feel that they can be good people do want to see there babies. But I think it would confuse the child when they got older and didn't understand and think that their parent's didn't want them.

tessa46

i think it is good just in case the child gets sick and they need the reall parents blood or other stuff

Stacey

It really depends on the situation, but I am all for them.
I couldn't imagine having a baby and putting him/her up for adoption in hopes for him/her to have a better life without ever knowing the child or seeing it grow up. I would want to have a relationship with him/her, just not be the sole caregiver, but at least be in their life.

Dont Judge Me

I think that is the best adoption I mean the kid gets to know you and you get to know the child and you know how the child is taken care of and loved

Skadoctor1

I am somewhat opposed to them. Im adopted and I can tell you, even as a child who was given up at birth and adopted at 7 mos. of age, it was hard enough me learning I was adopted. I think it would be even stranger having to grow up with 2 mommies. Its rough on kids who have step parents and I think that the bond formed witht he adoptive parents would be lacking if you had birthmom in the corner parading around as 'the biological mother'. The last thing I would want was to raise a child and see someone else take the love and credit. Who's to say it wouldnt end in the adopted child forgetting about the adoptive parents totally in the long run? Or, just considering them a home to live in? I think it would be very confusing.
Giving photos and letters to a birthparent for a year or two is one thing, but having them actively involved in the upbringing of the child to me is not some thing I would recommend. They should either raise their child or, realize that it was in the childs interest to allow some one else to do the parenting.

A. Cato

As an adult adoptee who was involved in an open adoption, I do not support the idea and practice of it. I am for open records when the person who was adopted reaches the age of 21. I do not believe children should have to deal with the issues that surround open adoptions while they are children. I passionately believe in open records for all adoptees.

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