What are your thoughts?

cagney

it all depends on what you are looking for and who best fits into your family.

pros of domestic, from personal experience........shorter wait time, we matched within 24 hours with a birthmother in our area. our daughter was born just a little over a month later and we were able to be present at her birth. my husband even cut the cord, and i was the first one to hold her. (our wonderful birthmother allowed this) the state we're in of kansas law is that parental relinquishment of the birthmother's rights can be done after 12 hour after birth. this is as binding as being in front of a judge. the birthfather's rights can be relinquished up to 3 months before the birth. you usually have a detailed medical history in english for the child you are adopting. counseling is available to the birthmother. depending on the state you are in, and the age of the infant, but we were able to take our daughter home from the hospital. the thinking that caucasion newborns are rarely available and you must wait years to adopt a newborn domestically is widely falst and not true. the agency we used has a 6-9 month wait for match at most, depending on your criteria. our adoption was not a fluke, our daughter is hispanic/caucasion and our friends matched with a local birthmother and had the same experience with an african american newborn. they were also present at her birth and allowed to take her home from the hospital. we both finalized within 6 weeks and it is non reversible, and was not reversible after parental rights were relinquished at 12 hours post birth. our child will not only know us as her "real" family, but she will also have the ability to know her "birth" family and history.

how this is possible, research, research, research, and education of yourselves and your family. and always have a reputable adoption attorney.

cons of domestic, from what we could see...............if you are not comfortable with an open, or semi-open adoption you will have a longer wait period. if you do not educate yourselves and research the agency and attorney you use, you could loose money and time. if you are wanting a specific gender and specific ethinicity and cosmetic characteristics you will have much longer wait times. this is a very personal choice and no answer to those questions is wrong if you are able to provide a loving and stable home and family.

we briefly looked into international and this was our thinking

pros..............children are usually readily available for adoption, no chance of the birthmother deciding to parent before and right after birth. toddler's and siblings are usually available to adopt together. many different countries with many different regulations allow for almost anyone to be able to adopt. more financial assistance is available, from what we found for international adoptions. if you prefer a closed adoption, the possibility of the birthmother contacting you and trying to find the child later is almost none.

cons...........medical history, may be complete, but often much is lost in translation or not complete. the child may be able to learn about their heritage, but will probably never be able to be in contact with biological relatives or have a medical history or biological family. found the expense to be slighty higher, especially when you factor in travel expenses. you are bound to the rules and regulations of a foreign country. while a good agency will walk you through those, you still have no standing as an foreign adopter and must abide and respect the rules and decisions of another country. often the average age of child is around 9-12 months before being matched and then can be months before you meet the child, and may have to wait more time before you are officially approved to legally become that child's legal parent's and bring them home.

for us domestic was faster, safer, we had way more knowledge of our child and her biological family history, we were able to meet with the birthmother and become comfortable with her, and we felt this was important to our daughter and would help her answer questions in the future. we were there for all of her "firsts" after birth and know her experiences and what medical and emotional history she has. any surprises from here on out will be no different than if she was our biological child. no matter how your child comes to you they are YOURS.

we felt that international had more red tape and hoops to jump through, and even more uncertainty than a domestic adoption.

there are no right or wrong answers, every adoption is different and every child is different. that is what makes them our children.

my advice is that you find a reputable attorney that works well with you and that you feel comfortable with. and an agency that does the same.

i realize i did not speak of domestic adoption through foster care. that is because i have very limited knowledge of that and do not feel educated enough to speak about the wondeful pros and the obvious cons of foster care adoption.

whichever you choose, my best to you.

onerockinmamato2

Here is a link that may help answer your question:

http://www.theadoptionguide.com/tools/planner/matrix

Adopting domestically (within the U.S) and internationally each have their own risks and benefits. When we started the adoption process, we used The Adoption Guide and the advice of our counselor to help us make a decision. In the end, we decided on domestic infant adoption because it was very important to us to have newborns.

As far as easier vs. harder, they are both equally difficult in their own ways. International adoption requires you to not only meet your own state's requirements (by getting an approved homestudy) but the particular country's requirements as well. Domestic adoption carries the risk of a birthparent changing their mind (unless you choose to adopting a waiting child whose parent's rights have already been terminated).

Choosing one or the other is a very personal and individual decision.

Still Me

Domestic adoption is slightly easier, about the same financially, but you have the opportunity to meet and stay in touch with your child's birthmother, which may be of great importance to your particular child (or may not). You also have access to all medical records.

International adoption involves a lot of paperwork and can sometimes be slightly faster than domestic adoption (except for Russia). There is no opportunity to meet your child's birthmother usually, and limited info about her or your child's health.

Domestic newborn adoptions can be from $5000 - 40,000 depending on the situation, agency. The adoption of older children through foster care can be as little as $400 for the adoptive parents, because taxpayers pick up the costs through taxes and other state programs.

International adoptions usually range from $15,000 - $40,000.

Private adoptions can run about the same as agency domestic adoptions or higher, plus you risk the fees you have paid if the birthmother decides to parent. You don't risk those fees already paid with some many agencies, although you do with some.

Hope that helps!!

eve

people definitely feel differently about this topic. I think some people are drawn to international adoption because there is no such thing as a reason to be afraid that the biological parents will change their minds. I certainly understand that fear (I have 2 children who were adopted) but, it is media hype and very, very unlikely to get blown up like the stories you hear about. I wanted a newborn baby and you really can't get a newborn baby from out of the country. I was in the hospital when my son was an hour old. Many people are in the delivery room with the birth mother when their child is born, within the US. The cost is supposedly a little less when you adopt outside the US. I think this is also up for grabs and depends on from where and with what agency you adopt. Many international adoptions require hidden costs, like bribes of thousands of dollars, or they will not happen even after you are in the foriegn country expecting to take home your baby. Also I was particularly wary of dealing with laws from other countries when it came to something I wanted to be so sure about. I was also afraid of alcoholism, and the resulting fetal alcohol syndrome in children from Russia, for instance, where the alcoholism rate is very high. Also, in international adoptions you havve no way of knowing if suddenly the law will change and you can not go and retrieve your baby. Many times you have to go to the foriegn country, fill out paperwork, etc., meet your baby, and then come home for a few weeks while red tape stuff is completed and then go back again and bring home your baby. I felt like it would be so very difficult for me to do that.

Erin L

I've adopted internationally. There are risks and benefits to each. International is usually more expensive, but the wait time is usually more predictable and shorter (for infants) and there isn't as much risk of "loosing" a baby due to birthparents changing their mind. If you adopt domestically, you can get a newborn, although there are starting to be more international programs where the babies come home very young. International adoption also carries with it the responsibilities and issues of being a multicultural and perhaps multiracial family.

Me, Myself & I

Adopt a pet (cat or dog). You will be much happier in the long run and save a lot more money.

acceptancewithjoy20

it is easier to adopt out side the Us and Cheaper.

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