What at The Best countries to Adopt from? Info on Adoption?

kims

When you ask 'where is best to adopt from', are you thinking about where there are the most children truly in need of homes, or where you can find an infant girl the most readily?

If you're willing to wait long enough, you can find and infant girl almost anywhere, even here in the US.

If you're thinking of finding a child most in need (like a child traumatized by their former environment), or the country that has the most transparent, accountable process, that's a different question. For that you would have to do more research and decide what's really most important to you.

If you adopt in the US, there's the advantage of keeping in touch with your baby's first family. Most adoptees I know have searched for & found the parents they were born to, so I do think it's important. Some foreign countries now allow adoptive parents to meet the adopted child's remaining family so that you can get background, exchange contact information, etc.

I would say that when deciding what country is best to adopt from, imagine yourself sitting down with your child in fifteen years and explaining why you made the choices you did. If you think you can pass muster explaining to a teenager, then you're probably on the right track.

Polly

There is no 'best country'. Where to adopt from is a very personal decision which will depend on many factors. The First thing you would need to figure out is which programs you qualify for (all programs have certain criteria which may include age, health, finances, religion, number of children, infertility and education level amongst others). Then there are a huge number of other issues to consider such as:

- What age child are you prepared to accept? Very few programs now that will promise you "a girl in the infant stage".
- How do you feel about adopting a child with special needs? Most children in international adoption programs have some kind of special need. Even many 'non special needs' children have medical or emotional issues that are not included in their paperwork (my 'healthy' daughter has a mild hearing loss, speech delays, sensory processing disorder, attachment issues and has needed 2 surgeries for minor congential defects, NONE of which was mentioned on her paper work).
- What type of care have they had prior to adoption? Foster care/institutional care/family care, adequate medical care, adequate nutrition? etc
- How do you feel about contact with their first family or foster family? Some programs don't allow for any contact while other programs (Ethiopia included) enable contact between the first and adoptive families.
- How long are you prepared to wait? The wait times vary hugely between countries from a few months to many years. Some programs have no predictable wait time.
- What countries to you feel or have a conection with? Are you going to be able to teach them about their first culture? Do you live in an area where they will have meaningful contact with other children and adults of their race.
- Are you prepared for the very unpredictable nature of international adoption? Things can change very quickly - the country that had a 6 month wait when your file went overseas may change to a 3 year wait overnight; the country that previously accepted people over 25 now may only accept people over 30 and you may be disqualified from adopting there.

**Most Importantly - Is the program ETHICAL?

All adopted children are permanently traumatised by their experiences (think about it - if you lost your parents at a young age would ever really get over it?) This is not to say that they can't go on to live happy, healthy and productive lives but there are real issues there that as adoptive parents we need to be aware of and address. For children adopted internationally there are often additional issues of cultural identity, language and racism as well as the issues associated with possible poor pre and post natal care, institutionalization, poor nutrition or medical care, neglect or lack of stimulation.

Before making any decisions about adoption I would strongly encourage you to read everything you can about adoption issues including (but not limited to) attachment, trauma and identity issues, post-institutional issues and developmental delays; educate yourself on the reasons for and the problems with international adoption, read about the experiences of adoptees (including international adoptees), first families and adoptive parents and thoroughly research the various countries and agencies you are considering (including having a good look at local adoption).

m'smama

Countries have so many different regulations regarding foreign adoptions, and frequently they change! You'd be best served by contacting an adoption agency that specializes in foreign adoptions, and getting information straight from them. That way you know it'll be up-to-date.

eagles33

From America! There are kids in this country that need a family just as much as anywhere else. Help out needy children in your own backyard.

Alana A

i would have to agree. we should be adopting babies here in America. not only because there are so many children hat need families but also because adopting children from other families can be extra confusing for them because of issues they will have in the first but how confusing to be with people and in a culture that is nothing like the one they will be coming from.

Gaia Raain

Did you know that there are over 100,000 children already waiting for homes in foster care right here in the USA? And in most states, adopting through foster care is free. Best of luck!