What characteristics describe a person who should not adopt?

maybe

Characteristics of those who should not adopt:

-impatient, short-tempered
-emotionally immature
-desperate for children
-disregards the view point of the adoptee
-fearful of / threatened by reunion
-unwilling to honor an open adoption agreeement
-unable to integrate the adoptive and natural family into an extended family system
-harbors negative feelings and sterotypes about mothers and fathers who surrender
-self-centered / believes that adoption is about meeting the needs of the APs
-uneducated in adoption-related legal, moral, and emotional issues

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

I will give you the one that aggravates me the most...the people who have 3 sons and just want to add that little girl, but they don't want to take the chances on pregnancy, because it is a 50/50, so they'll just go ahead and adopt that precious little girl! That bugs me because it has nothing to do with the child and everything to do with the mommy who feels the great needs to dress up her human barbie doll!

Mom to Foster Children

Who can not understand that adoption is not about a void that needs to be filled for them.

Who can not understand that a child must loose something to gain a family.

That children are not chosen and special (just in the since of adoption). I believe every child is special and a gift - but special and a gift from God.

Who is in it for the money!

Those who want the blue eyed / blond hair little perfect child so they can raise it to be their own without giving them their right to their past.

C Wood

Anyone who is quick to anger should not adopt. Children are a test of your patience.

Anyone who has a problem controlling their desires for things like drugs or alcohol should not adopt.

People who want to adopt for poor reasons should not adopt:
- adopting because family wants you to have a child
- adopting when you don't want to because spouse wants it
- adopting because society expects us to have children

People with these problems ... the problem won't always show up on the homestudy.
cw

leila

someone who has loss issues that have not been dealt with
someone who has an unreasonable expectations of children
anyone who can't deal with there anger or talk about feelings

anyone can pass a homestudy, the homestudy is more to find the best match.

Theresa

People who claim God told them to adopt.

Especially after they spent several years and a small fortune on infertility treatments.

People whose deity has such poor time management skills lack good guidance.

Angela R

Someone who-
will consider the child they adopt "second best" to a biological child,

wants to adopt to be a "good person" and "save" a child they consider to be underprivileged,

is only agreeing to adoption to please their spouse who wants to adopt

only considers their own feelings and not those of the child

thinks that adopting a child is exactly the same as having a biological child, and won't acknowlegde attachment issues or feelings or loss in the child

thinks that the child's adoption should be kept secret, and doesn't plan to ever tell the child they are adopted (despite the fact that everyone else in the family know)

feels they are doing the child a great favor by adopting them, and expects the child to be greatful for being "rescued"

or someone that feels that all parents that place their children for adoption are "bad people", and expresses this openly to the child

Independ"ant"

Anyone that feels adopting a child will make their life and/or marriage feel "normal" or "complete".

cbjr

Someone who is not responsible or does not like children.

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