What country should I look into for adoption?

Erin L

It's good to start researching early. You seem to have your facts straight about Korea. It's great for Korea and Korean children that children are finding homes in their country of birth, isn't it?! It sounds like you think so and want to adopt ethically.

You are mistaken that with domestic adoptions the first mother can regain custody of her child at any time. There IS a window of time, which varies state to state, where the biological mother can change her mind. However, after that period is over, as long as nothing illegal happened, it IS final. My problem with domestic newborn adoption is pre-birth matching. I think it is inherently coersive and unethical.

The thing with international adoption is that the programs change very quickly. Three years ago, China was extremely popular. The China program changed rapidly. It really slowed down and is now focussing on placing special needs children and they increased restrictions for pap's. I have lots of feelings about it. I would think it was good if I thought that the one child policy wasn't still devastating and leaving a lot of children needing homes that aren't getting them. I AM glad that more special needs children from China are being adopted. These are kids who are virtually "unadoptable" in China and truly NEED homes elsewhere. Anyway, many pap's who once looked to China are now not considering it or do not qualify. So, anyway, I think China's waiting child program (older and special needs) is good.

I recommend you continuing to find out the ethics, procedures, qualifications, cultural match, etc. of different programs until you are ready to start. Find 2 programs that you are comfortable with and see what's going on in the programs at the time you are ready to start and make your decision.

MUST READS for international adoption: both written by Sheri Register

Are Those Kids Yours?
Beyond Good Intentions

ETA: Seriously, people. Whatever corruption has happened in Korea, IT IS TRUE that Korea is making an effort to place more children domestically and phase out international adoption. Why in the world would it be WRONG for a pap to say they don't plan to adopt from a country where there isn't much of a need for adoptive parents? Help me. I don't understand.

cantstopLinnyG

As an adult adoptee, I recommend foster care adoption. They are the only kids who need homes. International and newborn adoption is a billion dollar industry and extremely corrupt.

Why do you THINK they're closing down their programs??

"....but I'm too terrified of the birth mother taking the child back - it's just not for me."

Adoption is supposed to be about the child, NOT the adoptive parents. What's best is for a child to be loved and raised by his or her natural parents. If a natural parent had issues and got their issues together, then the child should be with them.

You need to learn how adoption will affect an adopted child, and that it's about the child's needs, not fulfilling your needs because of your infertility.

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

http://www.emediawire.com/releases/2004/4/emw117838.htm

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12185524

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/outlook/2009-01-11/adoption/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27859660

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=4508&page=0

Just because a child is available for "adoption" in a foreign country, doesn't make the adoption legal, or moral.

****show me where I accused YOU of being corrupt. I didn't. I accused the SYSTEM of being corrupt.

You need to get YOUR facts straight. Once parental rights have been terminated, as long as the adoption was LEGAL, there is no turning back.

You've proven my point. Adoption is for what's best for the CHILD, NOT the adoptive parents. Infertile or not, you should get a dog.

tish_part deux

"but I'm too terrified of the birth mother taking the child back - it's just not for me. "--

wow.. i am speechless...

ok..no i'm not. there's one sure way to not deal with that pesky birthmama drama...

HAVE YOUR OWN.

Robin

Just want to add that you may want to check the UNITES STATES GOVERNMENT'S website on international adoption. This site provides alerts and provides specific information on the corruption and other potential problems adopting in NUMEROUS countries.

http://adoption.state.gov/news/notices.html

Korea was on that list. So believe your candy coated story all you want. The US Government reported quite a while ago about the corruption in Korean adoption. You might want to check a variety of sources before coming to any solid conclusions about where to adopt from.

Birth mothers can not come back once the adoption is finalized at take the child. That's a bunch of horse puckey! Another urban legend.

Helena B

what r u gonna do when ur kid wants to find its real mum&pop? U prolly wont even tell him hes adopted. I feel bad for anyone who gets stuck with u, greedy.

Philippa

Ouch! Firstly a birth mother isn't a birth mother until the adoption is finalized.

So you don't to risk that a mother to be so terrible to mess up your life just so dhe can raise HER baby but it's okay for you to take a child from his/her culture, language and country.

My best advice is to research very carefully. I have three cousins who are IA - twins from Africa and one from Malaysia. They love their family very much but they all agree that they have missed out on being raised in their countries of origin. It was also very difficult for them to trace their families of origin and were very lucky that they did as it took them years.

cmc

You've been watching too much tv - the first parents can't take the child back if the rights have been terminated properly. I'm not saying you should do domestic adoption - only that you are misinformed.

there is a lot of corruption in international adoption. I'm not sure what your criteria is for deciding which country is best. Also in 2 years things can change. Vietnam and Guatemala have both closed fairly recently. Not sure what the situation will be down the road. here is a link to the state department page on adoption where you can search by country. It also lists the most "popular" (by number of children adopted). http://adoption.state.gov

MamaKate

Try this:

Think about adoption from the point of view of your potential child for a second. Now, where would YOU like to be raised? Your native familiar country or someplace far away with a different language and culture?

As much as you dislike the idea, raising an adopted child IS raising someone else's child and adoptive parents should to come to terms with that if they wish to have a healthy adoption. Adopted children have TWO sets of parents and no paperwork or distance will EVER change that.

Adoption should be about the child, not the desires of adults.

If you want to avoid corruption and make sure that your child only has you for a mother, then please make your own.

ETA: There are children in the US foster care system who's parents' rights have already been terminated. PERMANENTLY. There is NO way they can be "reclaimed" by their biological parents. What about them? Why are they not an option?

durdenslabs

I suggest you adopt in the United States.
Go through the foster care system. You'll be helping at least one of the THOUSANDS of kids in the U.S., ranging in age from baby to 18, get a new forever home.

Why go overseas when there are so many children in need of good, loving homes right here?

Sophie

In two years when you are ready to actually begin the process of an international adoption, you should research then and make your decision then. International adoption has a fast-paced revolving door when it comes to what country is open to adopt from and which ones are closed.

Between now and the time you actually begin, I think you could research international adoptees' issues to prepare yourself for what you will need to to to be the best parent you can be.

Best wishes

Julia B

May I ask why not an American adoption? There are so many kids here who need help & if you foster to adopt the state will help you with the cost of adoption. If you go thru DPS or any fostering agency you can request that you only have children in your home whose parents have already terminated their rights or had them terminated for them. The birth mothers can't come back on you then. Just a thought. Best of wishes to you and your future additon to your family!

Melissa, That's me!

I know you're not interested in an American baby, but just so you're aware, I'm looking into adoption now. If you go through an agency you do have the risk of the mother taking the baby back. However, in my area there are a few different ways to get a baby, without the risk of the mother taking the baby back, and it's sooo much cheaper than an agency. First of all there is a children's home (orphage) that takes in babies from the hospital, through age 18. You can request to only take in infants who's mothers have given up parental rights. Some mothers are in jail, some mothers already have a few kids. The advantage is that usually these mothers are willing to cooperate and give you family history, health history, and so on. The other thing you can do is go through your local Department of Family and Child Services (DFCS) and tell them you want to adopt. You will only be given the oppertunity to adopt a child who's parental rights have already been terminated. The advantage: again, more likely to get a family history, and adoption is usually free, the child qualifies for free in state college tuition, and you have 24/7 support from the DFCS. There's always drawbacks too, but I like the idea of knowing the child's history. Hope that gave you some information, even if you aren't interested. Best of luck to you!!

ibrahim_canaan@rocketmail.com

Third world countries.

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