What do adult adoptees think of open adoption? Would that have made a difference in your life?
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What do adult adoptees think of open adoption? Would that have made a difference in your life?
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So many of the adoptees here have issues because they had no information or contact with their first parents. Would it have been better if they had still been around, just not raising you?
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Mei-Ling
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Yes.
Most definitely.
Please see the following entry I wrote about this issue:
http://sisterheping.wordpress.com/2008/08/14/wanted-but-not-wanted-enough/ |
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sunny
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The thought is so completely foreign to me, it's like asking me if I'd rather have been raised on Mars as opposed to Earth.
Honest.
My natural mother has told me that she would have kidnapped me, had she known where I was, and I believe her. |
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Heather B
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Oh absolutely! Honesty and openness beats secrets and lies hands-down.
Facts in place of fantasy? it's a no-brainer isn't it? and it's the very reason that closed adoption is not allowed in many countries - because honest and openness and truth are always in the best interests of the child.
It's just such a shame that some don't see that. |
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cruzgirlz3
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Yes, I do think for me it would have made a difference. I really do believe "that the truth will set you free." It would have given me the choice and opportunity to find answers, and it would have clarified who I was. The issue here is choice, I would have had some control over my situation rather than decisions of privacy and secrecy made on my behalf. |
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Gershom
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No, I would rather pass on the crumbs and move directly onto the main course. :) |
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Lillie
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Probably not.
I was still given away by my mother, I would still carry those psychological scars, it's the relinquishment that does the damage.
Adoption and pretending to be related to genetic strangers is just the cherry on the effed-up cake. |
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scifichic200
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I am only 16 but I have an open adoption with my birth mom. I love it because I have pictures and letters and I can't wait to meet her. |
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MeeKung
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I was adopted. I think that it would be confusing as a young child or even a teenager. Think about when you are growing up, dealing with one set of parents is enough. What if you had to deal with two?
I have no information at all about my biological parents. Sometimes it would be nice to know something about where I came from. I am pregnant, so the information could help. But I don't think that I would be able to handle my adoptive parents and biological parents in my life until now. (now that I am 25 years old.) |
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 Does anyone feel they have a " primal wound"? |
| I just started reading this book The Primal Wound:understanding the adopted child. I am learning a lot about myself and why I do some of the things I do. Was wondering if anyone else has read this ... |
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 Why are some people so agaisnt adoption? |
| I want to adopt some day and my mom is so agaisnt the idea, especially because i wan to adopt from foster care. She says you never know what your going to get. Like you know when you have your kids. ... |
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 What at The Best countries to Adopt from? Info on Adoption? |
So, my husband and I are considering adoption. I was wondering where is best to adopt from (We were thinking Ethiopia and Thailand).
Any thoughts? I've heard some tragic tales of adoption ... |
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 I want to adopt, but...? |
| I'm 48, and single (but financially stable) - why is it so difficult to adopt an American child, not an infant, but not an adolescent either? There are classes to take and tons of paperwork, ... |
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 What do you think is the NCFA's purpose in making this statement? |
What do you think the reason the NCFA, the mouthpiece of the adoption industry, had for making this response to the Donaldson's report on Open Records for Adoptees?
https://www.... |
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 Give away your newborn through Adoption? |
Why did you give up your child?
How long has it been?
Do you regret giving your birth child away?
if you could do it again, would you give him/her up?... |
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 Parental responsibility/adoption? |
My son is 6 years old, i was neevr married to his father and because of this and the fact he was born before december 1 2003 his father neevr gained parental rwesponsibility.
He is not a ... |
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 Do many/most first/birth/natural parents feel this way? |
If found this quote posted on an adoption message board, and was wondering how many first parents felt this way?
"Why don't I want to make the effort for my birth-son? That'... |
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 How can I adopt a child in a wheelchiar? |
| I was really would like to adopt a little boy or girl in a wheelchair or who has a physical disability. how would I do this?? Where??... |
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 I've been asking my mum to adopt a child but...? |
| She said that now her kids have grown up (I'm 24, the oldest) she just wants to take it easy. But she said I should consider adoption after 25. Only problem here is... I don't intend to get ... |
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 I am 17 and i am trying to find my birth mother i need help ;)? |
| i know her real first and last name and a married name i know she was living in colorado in several different places..i pretty much know the age range i am looking up more information about her in my ... |
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| Adoption ? |
Has anyone here ever adopted a child?
If so, I have a few questions, if that OK
Did you adopt because you were unable to have children or just because you wanted to help disadvantaged ... |
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 Family Adopting Family? |
| I'm a teen pregnant for the second time. i choose to keep my first baby with no hesitations. this time around i considered many options. i was adopted myself and it was not a happy life for me. ... |
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 Relative adoption? |
| My sister in law is pregnant, but she is only 16 years old and knows that she more than likely can not raise the baby. Me and my husband have offered to adopt the baby so that it can stay in the ... |
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 For adoptive parents, are you comfortable talking to your child? |
| about any and all aspects of their adoption? If you are, what factors in to that? If you aren't, what do you think the reasons are? If you are somewhere in between, what do you think would ... |
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 Question to the adoptive parents:? |
Do you worry about adopting a child with fetal alcohol syndrome, or other drug and alcohol related problems?
If it was possible, would you be more willing to adopt a newborn infant, than an ... |
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 Can you adopt a child that is already adopted? |
| My husband's cousins are being raised by his parents, and things are not working out. Between both of their health and the little girls behavior it is not a good situation. My husband and I have ... |
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 Fear of adopting a foster child? |
| i do not have any kids. i am single and i wish to remain that way (lifestyle choice, i just don't fancy a mate) i have always wanted to be a mom.i thought that foster care would be a great idea, ... |
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 Do you think there's an age where a parent is too OLD to place their baby for adoption? |
| I know some people think that young teens are too young to raise their children, and suggest adoption, but when you hear about a woman in her 30's or 40's planning on placing her child, ... |
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 10 POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER! Questions I can ask for an interview related to Adoption? |
| I need some questions I can ask an expert on the topic of adoption. I would really appreciate some good ones! An example would be: How does the child feel when they are being adopted into a new ... |
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