What do you (as people who can't have children) think of this question that an expectant mother asked?

Randy B

Why do you assume that people here cannot have children of their own? I dare not mention that to my daughter. She may figure she was cloned or something.

Now, as to your question...there are all sorts of people out there who attempt to misuse their faith and it would seem to me that she's one of them. I hope she does find what ever peace she is looking for, if only for the sake of any kids she may have.

MamaKate

I can have kids but I have to answer as someone who is concerned about children's issues:

I think if you want to be disgusted about something pertaining to the question, be irritated at the patriarchal archetypes that cause this kind of thinking!

Give HER a break. She's PREGNANT! Her hormones are crazy and she has not SEEN or held her daughter yet! Some women don't "feel" anything until then and a small percentage don't "feel" a bond for weeks after giving birth (due to post partum hormones/depression/etc.) and then can't believe they ever had a problem with it. She's probably freaking out right now. She says she feels GUILTY which is a good sign that she WILL bond with her child at some point. Indifference, hatred or violent thoughts would be cause for concern.

If she was having trouble loving her 6 month old because she was female - THEN I would be disgusted and suggest therapy. If that didn't work perhaps suggest alternate arrangements for her daughter.

Corn is not dog food! No wheat!

Once they put her daughter in her arms, she won't care if it's a flying purple people eater. LOL!! She'll love the girl with her whole heart, body and soul.

Trust me, this is just a momentary dissapointment. Haven't you ever been dissapointed about something only to have it turn out great?

Facter in her raging hormones, the completely natural fear all expectant mothers feel and cut her some slack!

I think you're over reacting.

LoraBaby

After reading the question for the person I can put myself in her place but only for about 30 seconds. When I got married six months later I became pregnant since I already had a boy from a previous relationship I prayed everyday to be a girl. On the day of my sonogram I prayed while the technician was doing the scan and she told me it was a boy. I was upset and started to cry but within 30 seconds I realized that God will only give us what we can handle and me being upset was a selfish act and was very upset with myself. Now my son will be 4 tomorrow and I am so happy and glad I had a boy.

I think the women in that question needs to stop being selfish and be grateful that she is able to have children because there are a lot of people out there cannot have children and they would be more than happy to take that little girl off her hands. Sorry to be so harsh but its true!

IDK!!

Getting pregnant alone would bring me to tears.... I'm so done.

I don't think it's right to expect a baby to fill a role and to HAVE fulfill her parents desires.

I think that it's great that this woman is at least honest and trying to work through it, not praying that the scan it wrong.... give the girl some credit.

xlinzx88x

Its not unusual for an expectant couple to hope for a certain gender. My parents had two girls already when my brother was conceived, both ultrasounds said he would be a girl; my dad was a bit upset, to say the least. Dads dream of having a son to play soccer with, take to games, etc. My dad cried tears of joy when my brother was delivered because he finally got the baby boy he had always wanted.

Personally, my husband and I were both hoping that our first baby would be a boy and sure enough he was, we couldn't be happier. I'm hoping I have a girl next, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't love it if I gave birth to another boy next time around but I want a daughter to share that female bond with; I'd like to take her shopping, dress her up, play barbies, etc.

I understand how people who are incapable of conceiving their child would think that is ungrateful for a woman to care about what gender her baby is but most couples who can get pregnant do care. We just don't all voice our opinions as strongly as that woman did.

paralegalbunny

I think she is more disappointed than anything. Sometimes when you want something so badly, and it doesn't happen it is hard to deal with it. It doesn't mean she is evil or hateful, she is just looking for a way to cope with her disappointment.

I think that once her baby is born, she will love them regardless. Atleast I hope so.

gypsywinter

This question is on a 'religious' board....no wonder this poor woman is f@@k'd up in the head! Good Grief...many women are disappointed while pg, courtesy of ultrasounds, finding out that the fetus they are carrying is not their heart's desire...and yes...very important in this equation...the heart's desire of the father. Could be she is afraid, feeling guilty she is not providing the father the son he yearns for???

I truly fell into a deep depression when I became pg with my last child (1972)...I did not want to be pg (and yes I was married)...hell I wanted an abortion! But of course I didn't..and my 'baby' is now 36 yrs old and still loves his 'mommy'! LOL! For most pg moms, these 'feelings' are of short duration..and soon pass...and if they don't..then she needs to seek out support to understand why she feels the way she does.

I read the question..and found absolutely nothing disgusting about it! I wish her well!

ETA: Gaiaa..""Many people are emotional during pregnancy. That has nothing to do with infertile people.""

Absolutely!! Thank you!

23 year old texas female married

I prayed for a baby boy when I was pregnant with my first and I cried when I found out it was a girl. Didn't mean I didn't love her, just meant I was questioning my ability to raise a girl as my first. My mother had me 2 older brothers to whom protected me from bullies. I wanted a son to protect my daughter from bullies. With my second and third child I didn't care either way. My second was a boy and my third is a girl.

When you ARE pregnant you have hormones that play a big part in keeping the pregnancy viable that is why pregnant women are a bit over emotional. Stop trying to pass judgment that is something the poor woman can't control.

red elephants

I think you are overreacting by being "beyond disgusted" with her. She is obviously struggling right now. We cannot help our desires and its obvious that she wants a little boy with all her heart. Its understandable for her to be disappointed in finding out it was a girl. She never said she didn't love her current daughter that is 2 years old but that she was seeking prayers for her to come to terms with having another daughter and of loving her.

We all struggle with different things. Family friends found out they were pregnant again at 46 years old. They didn't want any more children (the husbands vasectomy reversed on its own) and cried for weeks after finding out. They were very depressed and upset over it. But they worked through it with prayer and are delighted with their newest daughter. We cannot help our emotional responses to certain things.

Its better to pray for her to find strength and acceptance so that she can be a good mother instead of posting about her and talking trash. Its not uncommon for a daughter to be second choice. Just look at China and their birth policy. Many terminate after finding out they are having a daughter because boys are prized in their culture. They are abandoned at higher rates and some even kill their daughters so they can try again. That to me is worse than a woman begging for prayers and to love her child (that she is carrying to term and keeping).

Gaia Raain II

What does that have to do with people who can't have children? Are you thinking that because she's having an emotional pregnancy, that means she ought to hand over her womb wet infant to some stranger who can't carry a child to term? If so, that's disgusting. My sister cried for 8 months straight during her last pregnancy because she didn't want a fourth child. Once her daughter was born, she absolutely fell in love with her, and she is the light of their lives. Many people are emotional during pregnancy. That has nothing to do with infertile people.

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