What do you call your birth mom?

sunny

Initially, I called her by her first name. I felt weird. So I stopped calling her anything.

She was annoyed by that, so she asked me what I felt like calling her. I gave it a lot of thought, and I feel like she's my mama.

It seems very primal and real to me. So that's who she is--mama.

gypsywinter

My reunited daughter calls me by my first name and I'm OK with that. Though I was puzzled one time when my daughter told me she could not call me 'Mom', because she felt that would be disrespectful to her 'Mother' (adoptive). I was puzzled..because she brought the subject up out of the clear blue sky and I had never asked, hinted or otherwise that she call me 'mom'. First name is fine with me...but I clearly told her never to refer to me as her 'birth thing (mother)' in my presence...unless she wanted me to refer to her as 'birth daughter'. She told me she didn't like the sound of that (birth daughter) at all. She has introduced me to people as her 'mother'...her friends when I have been in their company...have referred to me as ****** Mom. And I always refer to her as my 'daughter'. Her children call me 'Nana'.

Valerie S

I would ask her if she has a nick name and explain to her the awkwardness you are feeling. Be honest she will understand...when you get closer things may change..Good Luck

nixyrie

I call my birth mother mom, i guess its because i call my adoptive mother mami so to me its different. i understand how you can fell this way.

Flying Monkey #073177

I called my natural mother by her first name until about a year into our reunion, since then I have just called her mom. I think it depends on what YOU are comfortable with. As a natural mother myself I don't expect my son to call me mom once we are reunited, if he wants to that is his choice but it is not something I expect him to do.

We all have the right to define the people in our lives however we see fit. Someday calling her mom might feel right, or it might always feel wrong. You could always start a conversation with her and tell her what you just told us, then ask her what she is comfortable with you calling her other than mom.

cantstopLinnyG

I call mine her by her first name. I think you have to decide what you are comfortable with. Congrats on your reunion!

Big Baba

Um.......call her Mom! ....Even tho she gave u up , she is still your mother. ...So call her mom or mother....or if ur from the united kingdom...call her mum

Lola

I call her Mom and my parents do as well. I call the woman that adopted me by her first name. She gave me a choice and I felt comfortable calling her and my adoptive dad by their first names. I was adopted around 4 yrs old.

Philippa

My son calls me mum. When we were first in reunion he called me by my first name but after a few weeks he suddenly started calling me mum as it wasn't something we ever discussed. This isn't for everybody though so maybe the two of you can sit down and discuss what makes you feel more comfortable.

Cool Hal

For me I call her by her first name. We are both happy with that. It would feel weird me calling her Mom (or Mum - the UK term) and it would be weird for her to hear it.

She has another child and he considers me a brother - I consider him a close friend.

I was 36 when I first met my biological family - I cant turn back the clock and forget the first 36 years of my life. My 'family' are the people I grew up with.

But that is my experience and it works for me. You need to find what works for you - and you will with time.

Cambria

I am in reunion with my biodad. I just call him by his name at the moment. And when we talk about my biomom, he calls her "your mom" and I refer to her by her name. I'm just not really comfortable with anything more personal than that yet.

Lori A

i am called by my first name and okay with it. I think respect should be shown to her mom, she did a great job of raising her and she deserves the title.

I have also stated many times my daughter can call me what ever she wants as long as she keeps calling.

Tell her you're searching for something that your comfortable with. It's not up to her or anyone else what you call her.

realmom lese

My daughter called me that disgusting "birth" word initially, and I told her that when she did it made me feel like a human incubator. She was really surprised, until I asked if she would prefer me to call her birthdaughter/birthchild. Ewww. No way!

She calls me my first name. She calls me Ma. Mom. Depending on who she is around and what the situation is. She said that I am too "Mom-ish" not to call me mom, so for a while she called me "Mom-ish". When she is around siblings, she automatically calls me mom with a competitive air, or when she introduces me to friends I am her mom and she is proud of it. One on one, just me and her... she sticks with my first name.

shirley n

I would call my birth mom cookie because that's her real name though for you, need to call her a nickname like IDK nikki or something just show her how you feel the last time you saw her or tell her no tell her that you want to feel comfort around her ok so. That want I would tell her . I am in the same shoes as you but am not preg, so theres your answer.My name is kelley

Carol c

I've been in reunion with my son for 16 years. He has sometimes called me Mom, other times my first name. This was his choice - I do love when he calls me mom, but I would never expect him to do so.

He always introduces me to his friends however, by saying "this is my mother Carol".

I say call you first mom whatever you are comfortable with...you might also come up with a nickname. Or just ask her - it will be healthy to open a dialog about both of your feelings about this.

Firefly

I think it's lovely that you are having a relationship with her now.
I think you should speak to her about this, ask what she would like to be called, you tell her what you are comfortable calling her and you can both come up with a decision between you. It feels weird for her, too, so don't be nervous or hesitant. I'm sure she will appreciate your including her in on the decision.

:)

Carrieh

Depending on the conversation my daughter (I gave her up at birth) calls me by name or Ma.

mango's mommy â™¥

just call her by her name