What do you do to boost your child self esteem and confidence?

I want my kids to be secure in their decisions (such as what they choose to wear and who they befriend) regardless of what other people think.

Long story short, my MIL thinks it's okay ti criticize my children's everyday decisions like wearing mismatched clothes, using a banana as a play phone or making us silly songs.

Her argument is that "well don't you expect them to be judged in school?"

I told her "Yes and it's MY job to raise them with confidence and if someone doesn't' like what they are, then they can tell them to F*** off" (yes I used those words)

I also think is horrible that a grandmother would WANT to judge her grandkids.

Additional Details
Sorry wrong section, it happens ;-P

Freckle Face

Hi Lara,

Hey i have one of those MIL's...LOL

She did get better with time. When we were all together and she would criticize DD for coloring outside the lines. I would tell DD how wonderful she did and how I loved her color selections. The kids catch on. DD came up and hugged me saying how much she loved me, every time i complimented her. MIL started to get jealous. She caught on and started giving compliments too.

To your MIL's argument "well don't you expect them to be judged in school?"

Well, that maybe but i expect my home and our family to be a safe haven for our children. We should be a safe place for our children to fall, free from criticism.

For building self esteem and confidence, I think what you are is perfect. Try to look for them being good and reward them for that. I know it sounds simple but its actually harder than it sounds. (especially when two toddlers are involved, LOL) Team sports are huge. They learn to work well with others and understand that each player is individually important. Nurture the one thing they excel at, no matter what that special talent is and self confidence will blossom:)

jen1981

Tell your ML that kids are people too and they have their own minds. It is great that your kids have imaginations. All you can do as a parent is support them and reassure them in possitive ways, when they do possitive things and/or creative and independant things.

Santa's Lil' Helper

Why it sounds like your children have a great imagination! Your mother-in-law...not so much. I feel sorry for her. I love to watch the kids play make believe.

gspecial

I'll answer the question at the top.

Best thing to raise their self-esteem & self-confidence is to have a lot of it yourself. If you can be calm and confident, not a doormat but not too reactive or bothered by other people's opinions, your kids are likely to grow up the same.

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