What do you think about this?

Kdyl

do whatever you can to keep the baby in the family.... even though the parents may not me mentally able... if they have the help... then i think they should keep it... everyone deserves a chance....

LaurieDB

With family available and more than willing to step up to the plate, there is no need for adoption. The child doesn't have to lose his or her entire family and the family doesn't have to lose its newest member. Adoption is for children who have no family. Clearly, this child has family.

eta:
I should be more specific, as everyone has family. Adoption is for children who have no willing and/or suitable family. This child has both.

monkeykitty83

Do the your brother and his girlfriend want to raise the child? I can't quite tell from your question, but I'm assuming they do.

I really do think it would be best for the child to stay with the parents. It's really great that you're willing to help, and I think you're absolutely right that it's important for family to give each other that kind of support. Some family members may not feel willing or able to do that, and they shouldn't be forced to, but I still do think it's preferable.

It really would be best, in my opinion, if the child could stay with the parents-- or if that turns out not to be at all possible, to be adopted within the family.

JayJay

everybody needs to back off and let them handle this unless they want to help him.

foxylilalley

I just have to say that I believe that your brother and his girl friend want the baby and you can help them then there is no problem, it is a terrible thing for a baby to be torn from it's mother's arms when the mother really does want her baby and can cause serious depression. I understand if they are not well off money wise but with love and guidance and some one to teach them how to budget would be really good.

I am glad to hear that if they really have to give up their baby you will be the one getting it. But your brother and his girl friend can get their GEDs while she is pregnant and one of them can go to trade school while the other works and support the family unit then switch off like me and hubby are doing. I am now a Medical Assistant but he hasn't decided what he wants to go back to school to become.

little.skittle08

I agree with you. That family should come together in a time of need. It doesn't always happen as it should. I also think, like how you said, if they can't handle it you adopt. It'll definetly keep they're baby in the family and they can always see the baby whenever they want. Good luck, I hope everything works out.

Jennifer L

Well, speaking as a psychiatric nurse, there are plenty of teenagers that spend a bit of time in a hospital to help cope with issues. It doesn't mean they're "crazy" or that they would be incapable parents at all! Same thing for someone who is "slow".

There's a big difference between someone who is mentally incapable of parenting and someone who may need a little help. If they want to be parents and are capable of doing so, then by all means they should.

Best of luck!

Hay Hay

do it. it is not the child's fault they should have someone like you to care about them.

Freckle Face

Dear Jennifer,

I think your brother is lucky to have a sister like you. I agree with you completely. Best wishes:)

BPD Wife

It really is their decision as to what they do - unless the state gets involved because of the history of mental illness you mentioned. If they want to keep the baby, then your support and help will be wonderful to them. Kudos to you.

If the state gets involved and wants to place the child in foster care due to a history of mental illness with the mother, you can ask for Kinship Care of the child which will allow the child to stay in your care while the state decides if the family can stay together. If it is decided that the child cannot stay with the parents, you should be able to adopt the child from kinship care to keep the child in the family.

Good luck to you.

pattypig

To be perfectly honest I think that maybe you should adopt the baby. You could also give someone that desperately wants a child the opportunity the want to love and nurture it. If your brother is "slow" enough and his girlfriend has "mental" problems, do you really think that is the best and safest environment for a baby. Remember they are dependent for EVERYTHING. No it is not the baby's fault. That is why they deserve the best possible start in life. Even if it involves making a painfully hard decision to give them up so the can have better.

KTea

I think for the best interest of this child adoption is a must. It sounds like the biological parents have issues they need to work on (emotionally) and the responsibility of a child will only worsen their current state. If you want to adopt the child yourself, that is great.

Anne M

You didn't mention if you were married and have the financial needs to adopt this baby and do you have other children. It sounds like to me the parents of the two kids are thinking about them and the little baby. Adopting the baby out would be the best thing. It might be ok now for you to have the baby but in later years it could become a problem. There are so many people here in the US who can not have children of their own it would be a blessing to them.

joe_fleeman

The parents fo your brother and this girl both dropped the ball hon.
It is the parent's faults the girl is pregnant.Your brother is what 17?The girl is 16?
And your brother is slow and she has mental problems?Who was supervising them when she GOT pregnant?
Your brother and his g/f are NOT good candidates for a 2 parent home hon at this stage in their lives.They aren't even finished with school. Since her parents and yours are bad parents for allowing this to happen in the first place , they are the least likely to be competent enough help raise this child.As much as I hate to say it, the baby is better off being adopted out to loving competent people.

the master

Youre right its not the babies fault. So why would you let it have parents that are slow??? Would you have grown up the same way if youre parents were slow? Also i hope a 17 and 16 can provide food, shelter, diapers, baby food. For there baby. Which mean they will have to drop out of highschool and provide for it. There are married couples out there who cant have kids and that make good money. Let them adopt it! A baby should grow up with a real family. Not two kids! And when the kid gets older, its gonna attract similar aspects of the parents. Now do you really want the baby to be like that? If you care about it, do the right thing! :)

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