What does it take to be called a mother?

crazychickizback

The one that raises the child. I don't think that someone earns being called mother by simply giving birth. If a child is adopted, it's the adoptive mother taking care of the child. All the other woman did was squeeze them out.

Andraya

Love.

ps. It isn't up to you or me to define what a mother is. That, my friend, is up to the person saying the word.

Mei-Ling

The person who gave birth to me.

And also the person who raised me.

Which includes both of my moms, whether Canadian or Taiwanese.

Sigh. Are you going to give up your soapbox "birth-giver" issues yet, or do I really need to rant the next time you ask this? I'm not changing my answer or my mind. :

Heather Leigh

*Yawn* You really need to get over this hatred towards your "birth-giver". Have you ever considered counseling?

My adopted son has two mothers: the one currently raising him (me) and the Mom that gave birth to him. Both of us love him and HE chooses to refer to both of us as his mom.

My bio children also have two mom's Me and their step mom. Both of us are raising them. She fills in for me when the boys are with their father.

It is not my place to tell my children who they can and can't call Mom. I am betting they may even refer to their Mother in law's as Mom. Who the hell cares? I am secure enough i my role as a parent that I am not threatened by simple titles.

LaurieDB

People may subjectively define who they view as mothers to them personally. However, when speaking for all people, below is how the dictionary objectively defines mother.

Subjectively speaking, one may feel that his or her own mother (as objectively defined) doesn't "deserve" to be called a mother. Conversely, someone may feel that another person who doesn't fit the objective definition was, indeed, a "mother" to him. For example, an aunt who was "really there" for the person while growing up, even though the aunt neither bore nor raised the person, may be subjectively defined by the person as a mother to him.

One should refrain from using subjective definitions to override the objective definitions when speaking of other peoples' mothers. Subjective definitions are to be defined by each individual for his or her own case.

To attempt to use a subjective definition that requires "rating" a mother's qualities in order to define all mothers could, effectively, disqualify anyone from being a mother if the ratings are set very high.

DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS:

MOTHER:
1 a: a female parent*
1 b (1): a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women

2: an old or elderly woman

*PARENT:
1 a: one that begets or brings forth offspring b: a person who brings up and cares for another

cruzgirlz3

Well, there are different kinds of Mothers....natural, adopted, step, foster.

All are legitimately mothers but the roles and definitions vary somewhat. Being a mother of any kind is not defined by how good you are at it. I don't buy the Hallmark version as defined as being the person who wipes your forehead blah, blah, blah because the fact is there are some very unloving, horrible mothers of every type out there. My aunt was loving and nurturing to me, but she was not my mother, she was my aunt. To be called a mother is to define your relationship to a child..you either gave birth to a person, or have the responsibilities of caring for a child in the same capacity as the one who did give birth. Again, some are wonderful mothers and some are not but they are still all mothers.

Felicita1

Someone who loves a child *as their mother* and would do anything for them. Someone who gives birth to a child and thus shares with that person a lifelong bond and has, from that pregnancy and birth, a love so intense that they would give their very lives for that child, and i know no natural mother who wouldn't, no matter how long the years of separation.

You are asking this question as a follow-up to other questions where you have indicated that you feel that only the person raising the child deserves to be called "mother." Some mothers felt though that they had to sacrifice the joy of raising their children because they loved them so much. They were told that if they really loved their children, they would give them up. Should this mother, who made an ultimate sacrifice for the sake of her child -- enduring livelong pain and loss -- be denied the title of mother?

I am certain that your natural mother loves you as much as any mother loves her child. With an intensity that surpasses any other type of love. And has longed for you back in her life every day of the years of separation. That is what I hear constantly from natural mothers all the time. I hope that you decide to open your heart to the possibility that you could have two mothers.

Problem Child

I couldnt agree more with Andraya.

As an adoptee, I have the right to call whoever I want mother and no one else's definition matters. It's nobody's business but mine who I choose to call my mother.

Deejaysmomma

Someone who gives her all in order for her child to have tha best life possible. Who keeps their child(ren)'s welfare in mind with EVERY decision that she makes. Who dedicates love, and learning time, discipline, and comfort, understanding, and advice to their child(ren). Someone who never turns their back on that person that relies on them for their needs. She always makes sure that they are fed, clean, healthy, and knowledgable from every angle before sending them into tha world alone.

kyra

Mom's are the women who are willing to do anything and everything to keep ther children healthy and safe..Mom's are women who will take any oppurtunity to show their children how much they love them but in the same second will discipline them if they need it. Mom's are people who put their needs aside to make sure their children are taken care of. Mom's are there.

Miki

people who take care of their child.

thescreaminggrandma

this is how i feel anyone can be a mother but a mum is the person that is with you and holds you when you are crying and sits there by your side all night when your sick and even gets cranky with you when you do some thing wrong.. a mum is the person that cries on your 1st day of school and cries the day you leave home to make your own way, but you know when ever you need mum she will be there with open arms

Randy B

For me, a mother or a father is that person who performs those duties. Someone who is there for the child through the good and bad times, who offers support and guidance, who nurtures and gives their all to see to it that the child grows to meet their potential.

my Brooklyn Marie due 5/18/09

women who have AND take GOOD care of their children

Indian-vision

Any one can demand to be called "mother". But not every one earns that title. I do believe its a care giver who nurtures their child with love and sleepless nights that has truly earned it. Its also a personal decision of a person whom they wish to address as a mother.

bunny

Since you put this in the adopted section, I take it that you have an adopted child. I was adopted and I think of the mother who got up in the middle of the night to change my diapers or to feed or comfort me and then saw me through childhood as my real mother. Genetic parents may be the "real" parents but not the mother or father of a child.Be kind and always see to it that your child has what it needs and that doesn't mean material things, and YOU ARE the mother. All that it takes to have a child is to sleep together but it takes a lot more to be a mother. I wish you the best and if you have any other questions please feel free to contact me and I can assuage your fears! Peace out and don't worry!

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