What does it take to make open adoption agreements enforceable?

ladybmw1218

You'll need to contact your state legislators (not your reps in Congress or the US Senate, your in-state lawmakers) and find one who cares or persuade them to care. Definitely have the statutes of other states with enforceable agreements available, as many will want to see what such laws look like, and research how they are applied in the real world.

If you can get multiple people working on the same issue, that helps get attention. Start or join an active organization, have letter writing and educational campaigns to get more people contacting your lawmakers.

And some states do enforce post adoption contact agreements to some extent (not nearly enough but some level). See my source link for a discussion of this

Carol c

Sadly I've known of several open adoptions that slammed shut once the adoption was finalized. Apparently the aparents agreed to having the mother involved in the child's life and when the reality of what that meant hit them, they moved or refused contact.

While I'm not a lawyer, I've been told that it's difficult to enforce these adoptions and that's the problem with open adoption. Mothers in their desperation will agree to surrender their child because they believe they've found good people who recognize the important of honesty and openness. It's heartbreaking to learn after the fact that the adopters had no intention of honoring their agreement.

This is another serious flaw in adoption laws in most states.

I would do just as you suggest - write to everyone including the judge of the court that finalized the adoption. And keep doing it - be a polite but very squeaky wheel. Perhaps even contact the media to tell your story.

sweetjane

There is NO state or province that legally enforces open adoptions. ANY agreement that is made...verbally or in written contract...does not have to be upheld once the adoption is complete. Unfortunately, I don't know how they can forcibly demand that legal parents (AP's) visit, send pictures, cards, etc. to people who have no legal rights to the child. I think it is wrong and I think the law needs to be changed in all states...but I still don't know how and if agencies could enforce such laws. SOME sites for more info on how to help are below. http://www.exiledmothers.com/open_adoption/
http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/

monkeykitty83

You should write letters to your state legislators (the ones who work in your state capitol, NOT in Washington D.C.-- the ones in Washington make laws for the whole country, and you want to change state law.) You can find their contact information in your phone book; state government usually has its own page.

It's also not a bad idea to write to your governor. The governor doesn't directly make or change laws, but he/she does have some more pull with the legislators than you do, so having the governor on your side is a bonus.

Actual paper letters work better than e-mails. Anyone can dash off an e-mail in five seconds, but taking time to print it, sign it, and mail it shows more commitment. Open by addressing the issue, then move on to what you want to see changed, and why. Talking about what works in other states is generally a good idea, but in the US you won't find a perfect model. (Your best bet is Oregon.) Make your letter thorough, but as short and concise as possible while still saying everything you need to say. A brief and readable letter will probably get read, but a complicated and hard-to-follow letter will more likely just get trashed.

Encourage your friends and other local citizens to write, too. The only way to get an issue on the agenda with lawmakers is to show it's one a lot of people care very much about.

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