What does this mean?

magic pointe shoes

"Considering the source" = you being what looks like the poster child of birthmothers. Rarely do you acknowledge grief or that the decision was hard. Usually you say the things that many potential adoptive parents dream of when it comes to the hopes of who their children's birthparents will be. Things like I was meant to birth their child, there is no loss because the love of an adoptive parent replaces that loss, etc... It's very rare that you talk about the hard parts of being a birthmother. I've seen you say them though, so I know it's not all kitten licks and unicorn farts for you. ;o)

"she'll "get it" soon, they always fight real hard against it before they "suddenly get it" don't they?"

Those that come out of the adoption fog and/or stop drinking the birthmother koolaid were the poster children of adoption too. The amount of adoption is the best, and rahrah adoption rhetoric was just as believed as you do believe in it. Those that believe in the mostly positives of adoption like to sing it loud so to speak against those angry bitter people who can't get past their own experiences. It becomes a mission just as much as it is for those who speak otherwise. What she is referring to is the light switch that gets flipped. Suddenly, all that was what you know to be true isn't so. Suddenly the angry bitter people that you were speaking so loudly against aren't seeming so angry and bitter anymore. It's not a gradual change really.

That's the thing about denial. A person going through denial can't really say that's where they are at. And if what seems like every angry and bitter person involved in adoption speaking out has the exact same story of being whoohoo adoption then suddenly switched over to getting it, then why wouldn't it be correlated into a trend that the most passionate happy with adoption person could quite likely also be in that denial path?

So we will wait. We listen to your happy rhetoric and hope that it is true for you. But still we wait to help pick you up and dust you off if it is indeed denial waiting for you to get it.

Edit to add: FauxClaud happened to write about this idea today. http://musingsofthelame.blogspot.com/2008/01/anger-is-more-useful-than-despair.html

snow flake

I've read some of your posts in the past week and from them I have gleaned that you are a biological mom that feels nothing over placing your baby for adoption. I find that curious. I'm not judging about the placing your baby, what I find odd is that you don't seem to have any feelings about it. My b-mom tells me how she cried for months afterward and would wake every morning feeling the need to hold me. You seem cut-off emotionally...I think that's what the "consider the source" means.
The fact that you found the obvious confusion of adoptee children being in a new family and environment amusing is just further proof, to me at least, that you aren't yet feeling the loss you've had. I'm an adoptee, not a b-mom, but I don't think many b-moms would find this funny, but rather they would find it sad.
Anyway, you may not agree, but I think that's what the comment meant, and I tend to agree. You may not understand now but, hopefully, you will 'get it' someday.

freywayne

When someone says "consider the source" it means that the person is known for some type of behavior and that what they are saying is not reliable, usually they are some one who embellishes the truth or are an outright liar. It can also mean that they are biased in the favor of another individual, so you cannot expect them to accept the truth about that person

mommie to a preemie

I think whats happened is a real misunderstanding among all people who wrote the question then referred to yours. They make it sound as if you were making fun of what the situations instead of pointing out the adjustments adopted children go through some good stories that are bad and misunderstood.

Heather B

I'm only guessing but I think perhaps it means that you have yet to wake up to the full impact of your actions.

Not much help, I know, but I'm not the author so can only guess what is implied

mscrawdad

Hi! It's me. The author. I did try to reply, but it kept saying that it failed. I just wanted to thank you for your comments and I took your advice.

quinda

I totally agree with freyway... the person is straight playing you in a way. On top of that they are saying you are against the cause but when you finally figure it out you will come around, like, "Oh, that's what they were talking about"... they are calling you slow!

The funny thing about this is that it all started from what was misunderstood. I am laughing at this because you're like little kids with a he say, she say story. "So what about the memories of the adopted children, **** happens!" I thought the stories were funny and I wouldn't give a damn who didn't agree. That's the beauty of this site to voice your own opinion. If they're good things or bad things but to judge people we just shouldn't do that! Who Are We? This is suppose to be a fun site. Somewhere to go to meet and mingle and in some cases learn. There are no perfect writers here but people express therm selves the best way they can. If you don't understand someone asking them what did they mean before sounding like you're embarrassing them would probably be a better approach. I know I kind of went off the topic but, oh well, and don't think I'm going off on you or anything like that. I'm too grown for that. I just wanted to remind you that as a lady you have to conduct yourself as one at all times even on here. So ignore the *** holes because there are many and just have fun on here. Not looking for a best answer just needed to get some things off my chest... LOL!

sarahhhhhhh

People have no sense of humour on here infortunatly. I am adopted and i found it funny. Thats saying something isnt it! lol.

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