What happens if u want to give up ur baby?

Possum

First and foremost you need to talk to an adult you can trust.
Do NOT call an adoption agency.
Run from anyone that pushes you in that direction.
An adoption agency wants your baby - they'll tell you anything you want to hear - just to get your baby.
Also - do not have any contact with people over the internet trolling for your baby - dangerous stuff.
Don't listen to anyone that wants your baby - as they'll tell you that they'll give you the world - only to ignore you - once they have your baby.
What's best for baby - if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy - is to keep you and the baby together - emotionally and psychologically.
You are young - you will need support to parent - be very aware of what lies ahead.
Here's some links to info you should read - know your rights - no one can force you to do anything you don't want to do - no one -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://origins-usa.org/Default.aspx?pageId=51995
http://www.singlepregnancy.com/
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

I wish you all the best.

Heather

OK, so I know there have been allot of different answers on here, and with all this new stuff going on around you you must be pretty confused on what to do. That is why I think you MUST consult someone YOU trust, not any kind of agency with some sort or agenda. This needs to be YOU choice and a choice you agree with whole heartily because it WILL effect you for the rest of your life.

I suggest you speaking with your mother, sister, autie, grandmother , older friend cousin anybody you can reach out to for support. Please remember there reaction to you being pregnant might come as a shock at first , as a loved one they will look out for your best interest.

I am not going to advise you on adoption, abortion or parenting - as this is your choice. I can only urge you to reach out to those you love for support.

(I wouldn't contact an adoption agency at this point)

DH69

Be very careful who you talk to about this as most centres which say they help young pregnant women are sponsored by adoption agencies to coerce you into giving up your child. This is your baby, your flesh and blood, and the best person to raise it is you, the mother. No one can replace you, no one will love your child like you do, so there is nothing you can ask them. Look deep within yourself and see if you can find a way and who can help you to keep this child. If you give away your baby, you will regret it every day and your child will miss you every day. Take it from one who knows. I wish you all the best, there is a way.

jessica300

How do you find someone who will not only be a good mother to your child, but will also love that child more than anyone else in the world? Look in the mirror - you are a mom, a mother and you can be the best thing this baby has ever known! Know that and believe that when and if you contact an adoption agency because they are likely to tell you that you aren't able to give your child allllllllllll of the wonderful (material) "things" that a child deserves. Well, you know what? You son or daughter deserves love, a mother's love, and that is something only you can give.

If you go to an adoption agency know that they will likely try to talk you out of keeping your child with you.

Here are some things that are written in an adoption manual put out by the Family Research Council - an organization that supports the separation of mothers and infants:

1) â€œGive women sound reasons that will counter the desire to keep their babies. One example is to reinforce the notion that it takes a strong, mature woman to place a child for adoption.â€ (Bull - if a woman were mature and strengthened by her community she could and would parent her child.)

2) "She should not be immersed in an atmosphere that assumes that being responsible means that she should raise her child. She will instead see information about adoption on display.â€

3) "She should be able to read a list of center services that prominently includes adoption.â€ (Because this is in their best interest, not yours.)

What I am trying to tell you is that there are a lot of people out there who WANT YOUR BABY! And there are a lot of people out there who will MAKE MONEY OFF OF YOU AND YOUR BABY - IT'S CALLED BABY SELLING! If adoption agencies didn't need to make a living off of selling our children to other people, they wouldn't need to advertise - anywhere!!!

All I can tell you is that from my experience is if you surrender your child to adoption you will live with grief and pain for the rest of your life. If you parent your child, you will likely get the average angst of any parent raising a child, but your kid will always be yours, always love you, and you have the joys of knowing and witnessing every one of the important days of his/her life - memories - that is something you don't get with adoption. Memories are the connections through time and space between people who should/need to be together.

Being a mother is not rocket science - you can do it!

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

what happens is, you will regret it for the rest of your life. your baby needs it's mother.

a healing adoptee

First and foremost, please talk to a responsible adult, if you do not feel comfortable talking with your parents. Second, do lots of research on adoption, both the pros and con's because there are many websites that promote adoption and there are others that do not promote adoption. Look at both sides. Thirdly, try to go to a free clinic and talk to a doctor about your options and to see if you and the baby are okay. I do not believe in abortion, but i can't tell you what way to go. People on here are giving their opionion but that is all it is. When it comes down to it, this is your decision and your decision only. I wish you the best.

grapesgum

Can your parents help you with your baby? Have you told them yet? These days most grandparents-to-be do not want to lose their grandchildren to adoption. They would rather provide support and encouragement to a young mother until she is old enough to be on her own. I know several families who have done this very successfully. If not your parents, what about other family members who could help you?

Family support is much, much safer than stranger adoption. In stranger adoption there are no guarantees that your child will be provided for properly. The screening that agencies use is superficial and is designed to lure adoptive parents into signing contracts. Also, there there is a big risk in stranger adoption that you will never see your child again. Despite promises of open adoptions, there is a huge risk that the adoptive parents will cut you off.

If you have not told your parents, please do so as soon as possible. They will be very upset at first but once they realize that you are carrying their grandbaby they will most likely calm down and help you to figure out what to do.

I have a question for you - do you really want to give up your baby or do you feel that it is your only choice? How do you feel about being a mother?

tish

a couple of things:

-there is NO test, questionnaire nor measurement that can guarantee you that aparents will not harm your child. even aparents who passed homestudies have histories of abuse, mental illness and other "not so nice" things that they do not disclose.

-although most PARENTS (biological and adoptive/foster) have great intentions, there are always those who are abusive.

the bottom line: the only way to ensure that your child will be treated the way you want is to raise him/her yourself. you have no control over how others will treat him or her once you relinquish.

you need to speak with a family planning PROFESSIONAL at a local health department or family planning center. adoption agencies are biased, crisis pregnancy centers are biased and people on the internet who lack counseling backgrounds are biased.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

Please don't have an abortion.. you'll regret it the rest of your life. By the time you realize you're pregnant, the heart is usually already beating..

Please know that there are MANY services that will enable you to finish school while taking care of your baby.. It will be harder, yes, but I think you'll find it worth it. You will NEVER regret parenting your child..

Adoption is an option that may work out best for you, but be careful.. know what you're doing, avoid being pressured into giving your baby up, and make sure that you don't finalize anything until the baby is born, as you may take one look at him and change your mind. Just be careful, if adoption is really what you want to do. There ARE risks that you and your baby may both regret adoption..

But please consider parenting.. I promise, there's lots of ways you can keep your baby and finish school, even college. You just have to find the right support..

angie<3

you should take to your parents i think that they could help you alot and help you decide if the families will be good to your baby.

Ghost Writer Rides Again

How old are you....12????? Get an abortion...you're too young to handle parenting or relinquishing a child for adoption.

ferngullie

I placed my baby for adoption through an agency called mercy ministries. Anyway how i got started was I wrote out an extensive list of qualities I wanted the parents to have. Like I wanted them to be young, wealthy, unable to have their own baby,go to church, ect.... I never talked to the parents previous to the "adoption day". I dont recommend that. I think you should get to know them. The agency gave me profiles of the families with all sorts of information on the family. you just have to search out in your heart what you really dream of for your child. If a couple is willing to go through grueling process of adoption they are probably quite ready and more than willing to love your baby. Many of these couples are dreaming of a baby.
If you choose adoption I highly recommend grief counseling as this is a loss you will have to deal with. But as a birthmother I want to say there is life after adoption.
Also get in legal documentation if you want pictures, or contact, medical bills paid for ect!

momof3boys

You either go through an agency that will do open adoptions so you can meet the parents and see their information (they usually make up a book that tells you about them and what they like to do) or you go through a family attorney you can trust and meet with parents and see how you feel about them and find out all you feel you need to know to feel right about your decision. Be as picky as you want as you are giving your baby to them.

Ginger S

Two years ago we adopted our only child, a son, through an open adoption. Before we were approved to send out profiles to birth mothers, we had to complete home studies with social workers and were interviewed by the Adoption Facilitation Agency we used. They are responsible for ensuring that the adoptive parents are capable of being good loving parents. Also, if you choose open adoption, you and the adoptive parents can work out a deal where you receive pictures and videos so that you can see your child grow up. We send pictures and videos several times each year. Our adoptive mother sends cards and gifts each holiday and we give them to our son. He is 3 1/2 years old and doesn't understand the whole process but we are saving everything that he receives so that when he is older, he will understand that his birth mom loves him and only wanted what was best for him even if it was the hardest thing she ever did. We could not love him more if he was our biological child. Go with your gut instinct and you will pick parents that are right for you and your child.

Girl33

A couple I know wanted to adopt a baby so they went to an adoption service and the mother picked them out of a book and met with them and decided to go with them. They told me they could pick an open or closed adoption. They even had to take baby cpr and first aid classes.

The mom gets to hold the baby after she has it and gets to take care of it until the papers are final. The mother decided to keep the baby tho. I would think or atleast hope all parents who are going through adoption would really love the baby. It seems the agency wants makes sure they will love the baby too.

â™¥ Mommy of 3

Contact an adoption agency or crisis center, they will have lopts of resources for you and tell you about different types of adoption- open and closed. Nowadays there are different types of adoption, from closed ones when you don't know where your baby goes and cease all contact, to open ones, where you always know where your baby is and keep in touch.

ashpinoza

you can contact an adoption agency and go through couples profiles. you can chose who your baby goes to. blessings
also there are sometimes people listing themselves in the paper, and you can call these people too. you might be suprised at how loving and wonderful many of them can be!
blessings

Lei.K

You should go to an adoption agency that works with you to screen and interview good families. They'll be able to answer your concerns. Good Luck

Alana A

there are so many people out there that would love to have a baby to love. i would suggest that you look into a few different adoption agencies. they do thorough checks on people who want to adopt and they let you learn about these people and see pictures before you ever have to meet any of them. best of luck to you

utahyoda

It is usually helpful to find a reputable agency that can help you choose a family that you feel will love your baby. People who are trying to adopt go through a lot of paperwork and trouble and expense, and they really want a child, so your baby being loved shouldn't be a worry. Depending on the agency, you should be able to meet them and maybe keep in touch after the baby is born.

Burkettmom3

That all depends on if you want a opened or closed adoption and if you know a family or want to work with a agency that has 100's of parents who have passed extensive home inspections. My sister has finally got on with a agency that has been to her home numerous times. Good Luck

Angela B

Think about all the things you like about your own family and what you dislikes. Find out their interests are they the same you would like to have or have. Example want a family that is active like camping and outdoors same things you love. Give them situations or how they would do stuff. Example: What is your idea of discpline or if the child did this what would your punishment be. Find family that can give a child good pysical needs and emotional needs taken care of. No not all adoption agencies are bad look one that is non-profit if it makes you feel more comfortable. Either way get counseling so you can better decide what you want to do. It's a hard road and good luck with everything.

onlyme212529

Most people looking to adopt a child would love it endlessly because they are unable for one reason or another to have a baby of their own,which in turn they will treat your baby as if it was their own.
You should call an adoption agency or talk to a doctor about the option and they will give you all kinds of information about adoption and whatnot....adoption agencies will usually set up appointments between you and the elected adopting parents to see if you are comfortable with them and just take it from there.
Ask them about their intentions and how they will provide for the baby and things of that nature but I can almost assure you that no adoption agency will approve a family of adoption unless they meet all the requirements such as finances,backgrounds,and all those things.
Good Luck and I'm glad to see there is someone out there willing to consider adoption over the other thing

k2t3

another thing you can do is ask your dr if he/she knows of anyone that might want to adopt that has problems in getting pregnant. they know the people . it is not easy giving your baby away but if someone can do a better job of raising it and you fully can understand that then it helps. i know this first hand.

chelsea s

Hello Michelle.

Don't worry! Most of the people telling you that agencies are "baby sellers" are bitter people who put their children up for adoption, or were adopted more than 10 years ago. Or misinformed people who believe those stereotypes. That is not the way it is now! The adoption agency I went through didn't pressure me at all. My counselor didn't get paid more whether I gave up the baby or not. All she wanted was for me to make the best decision for myself. They would have helped me find a way to parent if I had decided to do that. It was really cool, because everyone who worked at the agency had some connection with adoption, like being adopted, being a birth mother, or being an adoptive parent. My counselor was an adoptee.

With that said, I would make sure the agency you choose is the same way. But there are laws now against "pressuring" you into giving up baby. So I don't really think any agency would act the way these people are saying it would. I haven't seen a birth mother from within the last few years saying anything bad about adoption agencies. Its just the ones from more than 10 years ago.

Furthermore, when you choose parents you have to really get to know them. Start early so you have time. When I was choosing adoptive parents I talked to them on the phone once a week, took my family to meet them, exchanged letters, and they brought us around sight-seeing to see the city they lived in several times. That is how I got to know them well enough to know they would be good parents.

Also, I would choose adoptive parents that have time for you, and that you can tell genuinely care about you and what you are going through. If they can do that, then you can be sure they will care about your baby. The parents I choose were really concerned with MY wellbeing too, not just the baby's.

Anyway, I hope this helps you make a decision!

Oh yeah-- I agree with DH69 about the pregnancy "support" centers. THEY are the ones who pressure women into placing a child! Under the Bush administration thousands and thousands of them are popping up all over the country. All they are there for is to convince women to not get an abortion. They aren't there to support you and help you make the right decision for you. They just want you to comply to their ideology. So if you do go to a center like that, ask first what their views on abortion are or if they have religious affiliation before committing to them in any way. If I were you, I'd just go to planned parenthood. They aren't biased.

Pray for the Redskins

I recommend you go through catholic adoption services. They screen parents very well. They are not in it as a business. You will be treated with dignity and respect.
Catholic Adoptions are done through the local diocese. I have included a link to the listing of dioceses in the US. You should be able to click your way to adoption information in your area.http://www.usccb.org/dioceses.shtml

TRUST IN THE LORD!

I am so happy that you are considering this over anything else the fact that you want to find a beautiful family for your baby is great. If I was you I will pray on it, ask God to help you decide. Plus you need to know if this is what you really want. We sometimes think that we want one thing, but when you see and hold your baby you might change your mind. I know life seems hard and we always think the worst but what ever is meant to be God will work it out. I will pray for you and your baby and ask Him to help you out with this matter. God Bless!!!

Hotmomma

hmm that is very hard..but im happy u are atleast gonna give it up..then have an abortion..but make sure u really think of this..cause at the end of your pregnancy u might want the baby..after 9 months of loving it and all that..think about it..its to beautiful to give up..and no one will love ur baby like u will.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: