What happens when children are put up for adoption?

PhilM

Self-serving studies to promote adoption and convince mothers to relinquish their children aside...

Several studies have shown that Adoptees are more likely than their non-adopted counterparts to be in therapy for various issues.

Feelings of alienation, isolation, detachment, anxiety, abandonment are all common among Adoptees.

Some reading for you about the effects of adoption:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

ETA: It gets old to hear the same old tired "adoption is wonderful" nonsense from someone who hasn't even bothered to discover if her life really is better. Someone who believes her life is great because of adoption shouldn't be so afraid to find out her origins. The fact is, if adoption hurts even one child, shouldn't we be reconsidering it? If adoption hurts as many children as it has, why aren't we up in arms as a society over it? People get worked up about abortion but are perfectly happy to throw children to the adoption wolves without even stopping to consider the ramifications. When people give up the rose-colored glasses, I'll stop having to say the same things over and over again. But until then, apparently, people aren't hearing me, so I'll keep repeating myself. How can anyone be thankful for someone she's never met, and refuses to find out anything about?

Flying Monkey #073177

I could go on and on and on about this topic. Adoption removes a vital part of our humanity, our link and bond to our genetics, history, family and personality traits. It severs out natal attachment to our mothers and causes trauma to us as neonates. This trauma can follow us throughout our lives and create unnecessary emotional, psychological and behavioural problems.

Just take a look at these statistics that counter the previous poster's sunshine and roses view of how adoptees fare.

ADOPTEES

o The number of Serial Killers who are adopted is disproportionate to the general population who are serial killers.

o TWICE as many adopted killers are in the category of Adoptees Who Killed Their Adopters.

60-85% of internees at Coldwater Canyon Center For Personal Development, psychiatric facility are adoptees; most are referrals from Juvenile Probation Dept.

-Dr. Lee Bloom, Former Unit Director Coldwater Canyon Hospital, Hollywood, CA; reported in "Growing Up Behind Locked Doors," Rolling Stone magazine, 11-20-86.

20-35% of internees at several hundred private psychiatric hospitals in 13 regions were adoptees.

-Betty Jean Lifton, American Adoption Congress conference, 1988, from a report by an Illinois doctor.

70% of internees at a Monroe, Washington psychiatric facility were adoptees.

-Reported to American Adoption Congress conference, 1988 by Washington Adoptee Rights Movement (WARM) attended by a Monroe counselor.

5-15% of patient load in mental clinics is the average reported figure for adoptees under psychiatric care, although official (govt.) stats estimate only 2% of U.S population are adoptees. (Theory: a child's ignorance of his past causes "genealogical bewilderment" [and so is] prone to dysfunction.)

12% of adolescents and children in private therapy are adopted;

20-30% of adolescents and children in psychiatric in-patient units are adoptees;

-An Open Adoption, Lincoln Caplan, Farrar, Straus & Giroux, NY,
as cited in Bottom Line, 9-15-90

14% of adoptees end up in therapy, and

40% of adoptees end up in schools for disturbed children (of the estimated 2% of the population who are adoptees).

-Dr. Steven Nickman as quoted by Dr. Phyllis Chesler in Scared Bond (Geraldo show transcript #225, 7-28-88)

40% of psychiatric internees surveyed were adoptees; adopted children have a higher rate of emotional and psychological problems than the general population of youngsters

-Mothers On Trial, Dr. Phyillis Chesler, quoting Dr. William Murdoch, child psychologist at Loma Linda University School of Medicine, and Director, Charter Hospital-Redlands Child In-Patient Unit

13% of 69 firesetters were adoptees compared to a control group of non-firesetters which had only 3% adoptees.

-Dr. Wayne S. Wooden and Dr. Martha Lou Berkey, a study of youthful firesetters in the San Bernadino County, CA, Juvenile Justice System

45% of all 602's (felonies committed by juveniles) are by adoptees.

-Interstate Compact On Children, as reported by June Idler, Juvenile Compact, Riverside County Juvenile Probation Dept, 1988

20% of adolescents in drug rehabilitation and residential substance abuse treatment programs are adopted.

-Center For Adoptive Families.

16% of 500 serial killers are adoptees.
-- FBI statistics - http://foia.fbi.gov/foiaindex/foiaindex_s.htm

14% of 225 serial killers are adoptees
-- Dr. Mike Aamodt, Radford University

As well his stats on relinquishing mothers is faulty as my next group of statistics will show.

Pannor, R., Baran, A., & Sorosky, A. (1978)

* Half of mothers surveyed said they have continued to feel loss, pain, and mourning over the child they lost to adoption (even many years later -- this included mothers who had surrendered up to 33 years prior).
* Only 30% expressed "comfort" about the adoption (thus 70% were not comfortable with the adoption and/or felt it was not the outcome they wanted)

Rynearson, E. K. (1982)

* Eight of the 20 mothers were so traumatized by signing the papers that they were amnesiac of it.
* All reported recurring dreams of the loss of the baby, with contrasting themes of traumatic separation and joyful reunion.
* All had unresolved grief, continuing to experience symptoms of mourning at the anniversary of the relinquishment.

Winkler, Dr. R.; and Van Keppel, M. (1984)

* 45% of mothers surveyed stated that their sense of loss had intensified over the period since surrender and 6.4% stated it had remained the same. For the sample as a whole, this loss remains constant for up to 30 years.
* Compared to a carefully-matched control group, mothers who had lost a child to adoption had significantly greater psychological impairment afterwards.
* 53% of the Western Australia respondents and 58.8% of the Natio

fleur de lis mock ILF TTC #0

It truly depends what age they are in the U.S., but in many countries even babbies live in orphanages, because everyone is poor no one can adopt.

Madam Bari

Adopted children in their adoptive homes... well, I'd imagine it's just like children who are with their genetic parents. It's a crap shoot. Some parents are great, some aren't. (I'm not talking about 'adoption centers,' I'm talking about homes with adoptive parents.)

Adoption centers? Do you mean foster homes/group homes? Yes, they're crowded because no one wants to adopt an older child. They want infants. Infants are easier to reprogram don't have as many blatant psychological issues as those children who can remember their first parents. And the psychological issues that adopted infants have are much easier for APs to ignore, should they choose.

A child that is aging out of the system and is still waiting for adoption does get an eduction... provided by the state. Which means public school. (Unless they are being fostered and the foster parents choose to send them elsewhere) So I guess the answer to your question about them getting adequate education depends largely on your opinion of our public school system.

A child can succeed in life if they age out of the system, however it is NOT easy. And it's MUCH less likely.

It's sad... and that's why our focus should be on children who are stuck in the system... who genuinely NEED a good home and a better life then group homes can give them. Who NEED stability and people who actually care about THEM and THEIR needs... we shouldn't be focusing on buying and selling infants to fill the DESIRE of infertile couples.

In response to other answers.

Howudu?:
"was adopted and i have had a wonderful life! I don't think people adopt to give the kid a horrible life to live! They adopt because they want to love that child and give it a good place to live! If the child doesn't become adopted they might get placed in a foster home until they are adopted!"

It's true that most people don't adopt to give a child a horrible life. But don't kid your self. People don't adopt because they want to give a child a wonderful life. APs who adopt infants do it because THEY want to parent. CHILDREN ARE NOT CHARITY.

BigDawgg:
"Significantly, unwed mothers who choose adoption do better than mothers who choose to be single parents, according to the Guttmacher Institute of Washington, D.C."

This is a blatant lie from an institution that has an agenda.

"They have higher educational aspirations, are more likely to finish school, and less likely to live in poverty and receive public assistance than mothers who keep their children"

Education and economic status have no impact what so ever on one's ability to love their child. Yes, pulling down a six figure salary enables one to give their child more material things, but since when is being young, poor, and/or single automatically make you a bad parent?

"They are more likely to be employed 12 months after the birth and less likely to repeat out-of-wedlock pregnancy."

So... now single, young mothers are not only doomed to be horrible parents, but they're also lazy slackers who wont get a job? And yes, how DARE young, poor parents take advantage of programs designed SPECIFICALLY for their use. How stupid are those single, young parents who want to do the best they can for their child! (I hope you all realize that this was sarcasm.)

"They are no more likely to suffer negative psychological consequences, such as depression, than are mothers who rear children as single parents."

Loss begets 'negative psychological consequences.' How can you think that separating a mother from her new born infant immediately after birth wouldn't cause some sort of psychological trauma? So, you relinquish the child you've bonded with and carried for 9 months... and you're happy about it? There's no period of depression or sadness? Yeah. I don't buy it.

"Adopted children do as well as or better than their non-adopted counterparts"

Yes, because we're either stuck in unicorns and rainbows land where we must not only be grateful, but meet all of our AP's expectations of 'the perfect child they wanted so much,' or we're so riddled with the fear of being like our single, young, poor, crackhead Fparents that we are scared into behaving. Of course, no one ever researches the psychological ramifications of us losing our first family and all of our genetic heritage. What I find REALLY funny about this part is that Adoptees are also LARGELY over-represented in the mental health system. Meaning there is a HUGE percentage of adoptees who have either sought mental health system.

"Teens who were adopted at birth are more likely than children born into intact families to live with two parents in a middle-class family."

Um duh? Only upper middle class and higher can afford to adopt.

wildheartedmustang

... It really depends on the couple that adopt you. Mine were always working and so I would rebel against them since I was basically brought up by a nanny. So they sent me away a couple of times, and the last straw was graduation. I was talking to a boy they didn't want me to. They haven't talked to me since I graduated in May of 07. It hurts but last March my biological parents found me and they have kinda stepped in. I know it would hurt my adoptive parents but they are the ones who stopped talking to me.

howudo?

I was adopted and i have had a wonderful life! I don't think people adopt to give the kid a horrible life to live! They adopt because they want to love that child and give it a good place to live! If the child doesn't become adopted they might get placed in a foster home until they are adopted!

Possum

They often have life long abandonment and rejection issues.

Most babies - are snapped up very quickly - as there are more prospective adoptive parents that want to adopt babies - than there are babies to adopt.

It is children in foster care - all different ages - that need a loving home - but too many go into adoption for their own adult desires - rather than the best needs of the child.

Kay C

Some end up in bad homes, yeah, but it's a lot less kids than are just plain born into bad homes. I have a great pair of parents, an adopted little sister, good schooling and a loving extended family.

Generally, adoption saved my life. I needed a liver transplant as an infant and I wouldn't have gotten it without my parents.

Marina

I had a wonderful childhood, and I am a well educated and successful adult. As for all those books that are suggested, I wouldn't bother to read them. I read them and as an adoptee I could not relate personally to ONE SINGLE THING in ANY of them. I kept trying to identify because I have been told as an adoptee that I am supposed to feel cheated, left out, have abandonment issues, etc and I should feel something toward both sets of "parents". I don't. Not at all. In fact, I only have one set of parents and those are the ones that gave me a mother and fathers love, not the woman who gave birth to me.

I think that a lot of adoptees instead of working on themselves will blame their adoption for their adversity. Sad.

lovemekindly07

When children are adopted hopefully they get placed in good homes where the parents can take of them and love them as if they are there biological children. I have never been in an adoption center but I do believe some children stay there until they either get adopted or they leave when they turn 18. I have been lucky since i'm adopted by my own family. When my mother died, my sister and my ex brother in law took me in. It get difficult sometimes because I wish my mother was still alive to take care me. I'm in college now and becoming an Elementary Art Teacher. There have been some bad things happen to me like getting abused from my ex brother in law but I'm getting counseling for all the issues I grew up with. It has been tough but I'm making it.

alliemoroney

im adopted and life is fine you get a new life new family a new chance to live a better life

AdoreHim

You know it gets very old to make adoption out to be this horrible thing. Some adopted children may have trouble in the homes that they're placed in, but I can tell you I know biological children that have bad experiences in their homes as well-
I am adopted and if it was not for adoption, I am not sure that I would even be here today. Granted when I was born abortion was not legal, however, it was still assessable. My 2 children are adopted as well, and their birth moms chose life for them, even when the people around them were telling them to abort. Adoption has nothing to do with the education they receive. A child can succeed in life without being adopted, however for me, you noticed I said for me, I am very grateful to have been adopted. I am very thankful for my birth mother.

BigDawgg

Significantly, unwed mothers who choose adoption do better than mothers who choose to be single parents, according to the Guttmacher Institute of Washington, D.C.

They have higher educational aspirations, are more likely to finish school, and less likely to live in poverty and receive public assistance than mothers who keep their children.
They delay marriage longer are more likely to marry eventually, and are less likely to divorce.
They are more likely to be employed 12 months after the birth and less likely to repeat out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
They are no more likely to suffer negative psychological consequences, such as depression, than are mothers who rear children as single parents.
Adoption statistics for adopted children
Adopted children do as well as or better than their non-adopted counterparts, according to a 1994 study by the Search Institute, a Minneapolis-based public policy research organization providing leadership, knowledge and resources to promote healthy children, youth and communities. This study, the largest examination of adopted adolescents yet undertaken, concludes:

Teens who were adopted at birth are more likely than children born into intact families to live with two parents in a middle-class family.
Adopted children score higher than their middle-class counterparts on indicators of school performance, social competency, optimism and volunteerism.
Adopted adolescents generally are less depressed than children of single parents and less involved in alcohol abuse, vandalism, group fighting, police trouble, weapon use and theft.
Adopted adolescents score higher than children of single parents on self-esteem, confidence in their own judgment, self-directedness, positive view of others and feelings of security within their families.
On health measures, adopted children and children of intact families share similarly high scores, and both those groups score significantly higher than children raised by single parents.
Seven percent of children adopted in infancy repeated a grade, while 12 percent of children living with both biological parents repeated a grade.
Compared with the general child population, children placed with adoptive couples are better off economically.
Data indicates that adopted children:
Do better in educational attainment than single parent children and children raised by grandparents.
Enjoy a quality of home environment superior to all the other groups.
Have superior access to health care compared to all other groups.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: