What i wonder about adoption?

realmom lese

One minute you are a living breathing person, the next, an empty shell. Losing a child in this abrupt manner, with the hormones raging, is excrutiating. It is like death inside. It never goes away either.

When I left the hospital without my child, I was so traumatized I could not walk. I had to be carried. I don't remember any of it, this is what I have been told by witnesses. They say I didn't talk for weeks. I never had a problem with depression or anything until this point.

So, take it from me, losing a child to adoption is very, very traumatic and I would not wish it on anyone. It's too bad that the media glosses over this part, and makes adoption so wonderful, when the reality is......it is totally not natural, and it is horrendous to mother and child.

No woman should have to be separated from her newly born infant and vice versa to supply a baby to an infertile couple. There are plenty of older children in foster care. Adopting a fresh from the womb infant should be a crime against women and children. As long as infertile couples finance this atrocity it will never end.

Kira

thats a good question.

The truth is, everyone experiences it diffrently. I knew someone who gave up there child to adoption because the father wanted nothing to do with her anymore. that was hardest thing for her. on the other hand me and my wife to be gave up our child to give him a good opportunity at life. i was fired from my job and am now working at Mc-Donald's. for me and her seeing the baby every once and a while for the first few months was enough to remind us that we where doing the right thing.

so i feel it depends on the person, the agency, the situation, the adoptive family, the family of the mother and father, and many many more things.

dontknow86

This is what it feels like to me....A living hell you can never take away. My cold hearted, hatful, drunkin mom made me do it. Now not being able to have any more, I dont know how to love anyone or anything. I was never loved myself by anyone. I just go on day by day not knowing how to care for anyone knowing no one cares for me. Im alone everyday with my phone never ringing or seeing or talking to anyone. The day I had to leave her there my whole life stoped. You did not ofend me. I hope this helps. I have found my daughter I gave up 21 yrs. ago. But the pain is still there. She feels like a person I know and not my baby girl.

Lori A

It is the worst pain I have ever experienced and I have yet to find words that even came close to accurately describing it.

DeDe G

i did this and it was hard at the hospital but to me it was the best way for my baby. i was at peace about it from the time i decided and i feel it is still the best choice to be made for me and the baby. it is different for different moms. i did miss the emptyness and loss of kicking but knew it was the choice to be made. i did not have the parents at the hospital and i did get time to hold and say bye bye. hearing the heartbeat before made me know even more this was a good choice and made me know my baby was alive and should have a good life that there was not a way to give at that time.

Philippa

It hurts so much and can be compared to physical pain. I have often referred to it as an invisible amputation. If somebody has a limb amputated people can understand it but when a baby is adopted it's an emotional amputation. I know when my son was born every part of my body was screaming for him to be with me so I could hold him, feed him and most of all love him.

It is still a living hell 27 years on despite being in reunion since 2004.

snowwillow20

It is the worst thing a woman can go through. It's a decision that will haunt her for the rest of her life. It's a pain that never heals.

kathy blossom

For the guy who is working at Mc Donald's and let his wife give up the baby is a lousy *** dude. No man should even want that for There child **** at l;east he could have feed the baby by working there. You I hope you are not going to give up your baby. It will be very sad hurtful and yes you will be always seeing kids faces and wondering if he or she is your child. I wouldn't give up my damn babies or eggs to any one desperate to have kids. I have made bad choices in the past but I truly can't have push out a baby and leave him or her. I don't care if the father left me if I decide that Im ready to keep and have the baby that's what I'll do.

Riot Rocker

I did most of my grieving before my son was born. For me, I had formed a close friendship with the adoptive mother. She was my labor coach and she stayed two nights in the hospital with me and the baby. Seeing her take care of him as well as she did, I new everything would be perfect for my son and that I couldn't have picked a better family for him.

I spent a little less than a month with a general sense of loss, but I have learned to pick myself up and respect myself for making the best choice possible for the one person I loved more than myself. It certainly hurts, but in the end I have found it to be one of the most rewarding things I've ever experienced.

I hope

it's the hardest thing to ever have to do but sometimes the best.
I know that sounds cliche' but its true.

this girl at my church did. she gave her baby boy to a couple in our church who already adopted two girls. she sees him all the time (it's an open adoption) so it worked out.

this was almost ten years ago. Now she has finished school got married and had a girl. oh and her hubby was adopted so he totally understands.

Good luck! and congrats on yours.

sizesmith

I'm an adoptive parent, and I can't begin to comprehend how to place a child, but I'm very thankful our son's mother did.

While you were pregnant, and anxiously awaiting your child's birth, the other mother was trying hard to not become attached, phsyching herself to place the baby. The emotional trauma she faces probably got much worse after she left the hospital. She probably loved her child very, very, very much, and felt in her heart that with her situation, she felt that by placing her baby, that someone would give him a better life than she thought she could. Never think it was easy for her, because it couldn't have been.

There are rare times that women like the pregnancy, for the attention, but don't like the babies. Also, some young women who don't have any idea how to get on welfare, and have been told by so many that there's no way they could raise a baby, and they leave them at the hospital, often checking out without telling anyone.

I think any woman placing her child should receive mandatory counseling both before, during the birth hospital stay, and after the consent forms have been signed and the adoption is placed.

judyrobins14

It is just possible, that this lady might have been a surrogate and gave the gift of life to a couple who wanted it. Usually, a person who gives up a child doesn't do it for unselfish reasons, but because they realize that they are not equipped to deal with a baby and don't believe in abortion.
Congratulations on your baby.

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