What, if any, power did you have in your family as a result of adoption?

This could be for any member of the triad, but as an adoptee myself, I'm thinking of this from my own perspective.

We talk often about the 'bad stuff' that happens in a 'bad' adoptive home. I had one of that type. Another question here got me thinking of some of the 'advantages' I had (all things considered) in my home because I was adopted.

Here's an example: I was afforded the fantasy of natural parents who were better parents/people than what my adopted parents were -- even if not to me. "Better breeding", as it were. I KNEW that I literally had other parents "out there" and they could very well be better than the ones I was raised with. My sister, bio to my a-parents, did not have that luxury in childhood. She is/was 'tied' to them in more ways that I am/was. They did treat her better but it was by no means ideal, even for her.

I'm open to all answers from anyone touched by adoption. I'm also interested in other interpretations of the question. Tell me whatever you wish.
Additional Details
I, personally, will not give any thumbs down whatsoever to answers in this question. Abusive non-answers will be the exception.

Gaia Raain

Well, I haven't actually finished the adoption process yet, but I make no bones about the fact that I will stand to gain a whole heck of a lot in this deal. Since I'll be an adoptive parent, I'll be a member of the most lopsided end of the triad, where we get the vast majority of any of the advantages that are to be had.

I think that, along with that great amount of advantages I'm gaining from my pending adoption, I gain an EQUAL amount of responsibility to make sure I'm not taking advantage of anyone in this, and not taking it lightly. I have the responsibility to make sure I understand the worst case scenario and am prepared for that, along with having a great support system lined up, both for myself and my children, along with having an extensive knowledge base from which to draw. And above all else, I'd better respect that which was given up so that I can get all the advantages of being an adoptive parent - by the child, the child's parents, and the rest of their family. And I'd better also understand what it was they gave up, so that I can effectively, properly, respect their sacrifices for my happiness. I also recognize that I have a tremendous responsibility to become a strong supporter and advocate for adoptee rights, along with all that entails (i.e. educating the general public, advocating for my child, and all other children in similar situations). Hopefully, I'll eventually work myself out of a "job" (i.e. hopefully one day there will be no need for adoption). That's my responsibility, and my goal.

IDK!!

I think its sad that THOSE are your positives.

No kid deserves to be abused. I a similar way I had the same fantasies about there being a "good" home out there. Rather than getting that home as a child, I am doing the best I can to create that home for my family. So I guess that can be a positive.

But I don't seeing dreaming of a "good" home rather than having one as a good thing. It's like being raped, and saying feeling it as a positive that they wore a condom.

I don't understand why people choose to have kids and then abuse them.

Torrejon

Uuuh, none is my first answer. But thinking about it a bit more, I never had to live down or live up to any biological relative's reputation. There were none of those "expectations" that I might inherit grandma's temper or Uncle Bill's predilection for whatever. I got to be simply who I was.

I did/still do think it is fascinating that when I searched, the two biological sides of my family want to claim me...bmom's side says I am just like them; bdad's side also says I am just like them.

LisaHW

I'm an adoptive mother, and I thought your remark about having that "luxury" of other parents was interesting. Adoptive parents (the less than great kind) often have the "luxury" of blaming their child's on the fact that they're adopted too. Some children do get off to a bad beginning, but some adopted children develop issues because of their adoptive families.

Not that anyone is interested, but I've recently put together a site on adoption. I like to think I'm a good mother to my son, but as an adoptive mother there can be things to deal with, even in a great adoption. Most, though, I kind of wish some adopted children knew how much adoptive parents can really, really, love them (every bit as much as if they had given birth to them). I know. I have given birth to two of my children.

Anyway, the site is aimed at adoption. I know there are adoptions that go awfully wrong, but not all do - and that's why I wanted to make the site.

http://adoptionlwarren.blogspot.com/2008/08/it-is-amazing-to-me-that-there-could.html

I'm not expecting anyone to check it out, but I thought adopted people may find a different perspective. The title is, "On Adoption - Love, Lisa" (because, for me, the words, "adoption" and "love" just go so naturally together). I know there are horrible adoptions, and I don't think that can be ignored. It's just that sometimes it seems the world doesn't really understand how good an adoption can be. :)

bpo

im adopted from chile.. my parents are american i have a adopted brother also.. im 27 and i love my life i wonder what it would have been like with my biological parents if i would have been so fortunate as i am now but i dont really dwell on it... my parents are loving thats all that matters to me i guess

average jane

I was adopted as an infant by great parents. My brother (not bio) was also adpoted from another famliy...my adoptive paretns couldnt' have kids. Intersting thing, my bro is older than me, but always had a troubled relationship w/our folks. Now, as adults, I have no relationship w/him and havent seen him in over 10 years...we live across the country from each other. I have come to realize that I may never see him again. His life is the complete opposite of mine. I would ahve never imagined it would be this way, but becasue of things in the past, it just is. My folks and I still have a great relationship. We live a full day's drive away, but still see and vacation w/them when we can. I, the younger child, am the executor of my paretns estate, and I get 2/3, bro gets 1/3; I suppose becasue I have kids and he doens't. My husband and I are comfortabel, not rich, so I think they really intend on that other 1/3 being for thier only grandkids. SO, there's an earfull for you.
Also, I did find my bio dad and didn't like him. Bio mom and him were young and went thier seperate ways. Bio mom was located and didn't want to meet me. So, I know how lucky I was. Too bad other adoptive parents just don't "get" the gift they are given.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

Yeah, powers...um i was adopted by a coven and now I can turn you into a bunny.
This question makes no sense. I'm just a person but was adopted. I didn't use that to change anything. Was just a normal kid.

bubba

sorry i don't get it

The Sandman

It does not really matter if you are adopted or not, as long as you show love to your guardians and respect them as well you will have a strong standing in the family.

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