What is a martyr PAP/AP?

Jennifer L

I think that a martyr AP/PAP has a general martyr complex in other aspects of their lives, they just happen to adopt.

I hear what people are saying about wanting to "rescue" a child, but I think the martyr takes it one step further.

A martyr not only wants to rescue a child, they get gratification from the attention obtained by all the sacrifices they have made. A martyr wants validation that they are the MOST selfless, by adopting the MOST needy child and are putting their own needs LAST (and making sure everyone is aware of that).

Most martyr types that I have encountered ultimately suffer from low self esteem and a need to have validation from others.

Problem Child

It's a PAP/AP who believes they are rescuing a poor, unfortunate baby or child and giving them a better life. They see themselves in this role of rescuer (martyr) which makes them feel good about themselves.
They also expect...whether consciously or unconsciously...that said child will be forever grateful and indebted to them, and also see them as saints and martyrs.

Santa's Lil' Helper

I did "rescue" three family members from conditions that were not ideal for raising children. The first was a few days old, the second eight years old and the last fourteen years old.

I will do anything to keep the children in my dysfunctional family safe so they can have a chance at living a better life. And I will make every sacrifice possible. Call me a "martyr" if you will. I do not need these girls to be thankful or grateful for providing them what should have been basic needs....food, shelter, clothing, love an acceptance.

Dear God I am a monster!

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

a parent who needs a child and gets one to be a saviour as opposed to offering a home for a child who NEEDS a parent.

Carnie C

i guess it's someone like my parents; someone who makes an adoptee feel so secure, so close, so loved, so wonderful, so complete . . .an a/p that would put their life on the line for you. . .just a mere damaged, destined to be imprisoned or suicidal adoptee . . .someone who would love their adopttes childa s their very own grandchild .. .

or maybe it means the a/ps who are crucified here on y!a just for wanting a family .. .

Editedtotyhank: 1:12 . .good god, you crqazy monster!

Independ"ant"

Jennifer defined it perfectly.

They are the Aps that always complain about the issues/problems even pointing out the flaws of the natural family but always end the conversation patting themself on the back on how much "they" are giving the child love and will walk through fire despite it being such a burden. They are constantly looking for affirmation and praise for being such a Savior.

It usually starts because the spouse isn't giving them the positive feedback or attention they desire or feel they deserve.

Its a bit of a pity party mixed with delusion and an overinflated false ego.

In Summation: Its not a compliment and its harmful to children's delicate psyche.

IDK!!

Well, when someone adopts for no other reason than to fill their own desired, they are selfish.

If they adopt to fill a child's need they are call a "martyr AP", which turns it into a selfish act

Therefore, adopting a child is always selfish, you either fill your desire or you are compensating for your inadequacies by adopting.

I think that is what people who use that term intend

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