What is better abortion or adoption and why?

Cybil_Bennet

I am pro-woman, and I believe that it is the woman's choice (and the man's if he chooses to be involved). I know many women who were talked into abortion by father's who were afraid to get trapped. But there are a lot of realistic, emotional problems involved with abortion and many people have a hard time dealing with the causing a "death" and spend just as much time upset over it as they would for an adoption.

But if someone doesn't want to be a parent those are usually the options Abort or Adopt. Just sticking it out for 20 years is usually not even considered as it is extremely difficult and can ruin the mother's life (if she were in college or high school, for example, and had no help or support system - parents still disown their children for these things, and too many men refuse to be dads!). People who tell you that there are resources out there are right, but they aren't good enough to make a decision based on it (for example, you can get daycare for work, but not for finding a job! so if you're trying to better your life the system makes it very difficult).

Adoption is the harder route for many women. With abortion it is done and over with, and some people never think twice about it. Adoption puts stress and strain on your body, it's obvious to other people (whereas an abortion lets you to keep it a secret if you choose) so there are social stigma's there, and yes you may always think about that baby and even regret your choice. Honestly, I think in many ways abortion is easier, which is why adoption should be given a much more positive light than it often is.

People who endlessly complain about feeling incomplete due to adoption probably never stop and think that the options may have been that or abortion! Then they might be a bit more thankful that they had a home at all.

kateiskate

First of all, there is really no comparison to be made between adoption and abortion. Abortion is a choice to terminate a pregancy so the child is never born. Adoption is a choice not to parent your child after it has already been born.

Abortion is a safe, legal, medical procedure that is between a woman and her doctor. There are many reasons why someone might choose to have one. A lot of adoptees, myself included, would choose abortion rather than carrying to term a baby we knew we were not going to parent in order to spare the child a lifetime of secrecy, lies, and loss.

Kate

There is no easier choice when it comes to abortion or adoption.

I am pro-choice so I myself if I found myself to be pregnant and was in no shape to raise a child, I would have an abortion. However, also because of my many medical problems it would be a high risk pregnancy. Also, being adopted myself, the struggles an adoptee go through, very difficult, therefore, for me personally I would choose abortion then go through the proper counseling, etc.

Just my personal opinion, that is all.

smartgrl_09

I am adopted and from the kid's perspective it has certainly been hard for me. I always felt like something was missing and when I finally found out that I was adopted it just made things worse and always made me wonder why I was given up, especially since my real mother had 2 more children after me.

I personally think that abortion is the best option, if you are not too far along in the pregnancy. With abortion, yes, there is pain in knowing that you lost a child. However, at the same time, it would seem to me that would get over it faster than having a lifetime of wondering where your child was or how they were doing if you decided to give them up for adoption.

I do see what people are saying when they say to choose an open adoption over abortion but that is actually really hard for the birth parent. My real mother visited me when I was growing up until I was around 2 years old and it became too hard for her to see her child with someone else so she stopped coming. I also think it would be hard on the child because its like well if the parent wants to know about you and get updates and keep in touch then why didn't they just keep you.

So, all in all, my opinion would be abortion over adoption.

DevonChaos

My fertility is my own, and I don't need to share it with anyone. If someone is infertile, it isn't my duty to provide them with children, just because I can.
I would abort.
Open adoption? JOKE! Its not legally enforceable. The aparents can run off and never keep up their end of the bargain. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluding themselves. It would take a group of very dedicated people to make that last, and I wouldn't trust anyone to do it.
I have chosen to parent my children, even the ones who came to be in times of hardship. You just deal with it.

Independ"ant"

"I don't understand what makes a person want to give up their baby or even abort it rather than parent it."

Its not a simple answer with just 1 reason......but I can tell you that I had an abortion because I didn't want to be "pregnant".

How does Adoption address the issue of "not wanting to be pregnant"?.

I would have parented if it wasn't legal to have an abortion and I was "forced" to go through with pregnancy.

I don't understand why people try to use adoption as an option to abortion.........it wouldn't have help me become unpregnant.

Heather B

I would sooner abort before putting another human being through the pain of losing their mother, family and heritage and it forever being kept secret from them.

Opedial

It is a false dichotomy.

Do you like apples, or steak? They really have nothing to do with one another.

Abortion is a women's choice to do what she wants with her body. Until she has made that choice, adoption is not even in the picture.

Let us now dilute the process with circular arguments and poor logic.

Lizzie J

Abortion is a better option.
I really don't buy into this pro-life rubbish.
A life feeling unwanted, abandoned, angry, rejected, unable to form normal relationships, feeling empty and constantly searching for something/ someone to fill that hole is not a life.
If my mother had aborted me, I'd never know, would I?
Sorry if this sounds self-pitying, but this is the reality for many adoptees.

Serenity71

Independant can you tell that a girls who's boyfriends use the line. " I'll say will you if have an abortion. You know we can't afford a baby right now...." Then walk out on them anyway after wards.
I know two girls that happened too, they regretted doing it and the pain of being emotionally bribed is still with them years later. The loss is still there, not to mention the pain. One the boys(can't call him a man.) even snidely laughed and said he made her do it because he didn't want to pay child support when he kicked her out the day after.
These girls would have raised the baby if they didn't abort the pregnancy. so if in doubt don't do it.

Lisa Marie

Abortion or adoption? That's like asking someone if they prefer chemo or suicide.

I prefer everyone straighten up their lives, create a family for the baby and be a parent. If this absolutely can't be done then give the baby to a family member and remain in the child's life until you are ready to be a parent. Killing the baby because you are single, poor, or not finished with your education doesn't seem like a good enough reason for me. Seems to me that most of these obstacles can be over come with family support and determination.

I'm not against adoption when done correctly. Agencies are in it for the money and are borderline baby sellers. Birth mothers who don't want their baby should find a suitable family on their own.

Jane S

whatever you effing want.

Shiree

Yes, maybe abortion may be easier, as you put it, but does that make it the right thing to do? Why is doing the easiest thing, the best thing to do? I believe adoption is much better than abortion. Adoption allows that child to live, and to have a life, and to grow up to be the person they were meant to be. I have many adult friends who were adopted. They are all healthy, happy, members of society. All abortion does is kill the child, never allowing it a chance. And, there is something else I don't think most people realize. Most people that have abortions live to regret it, and feel much shame, despair, and deep sadness. You don't hear this in our society, but if you do a little research you will find that this is truly the case. Abortion haunts people for many years, and until they resolve the issues surrounding it, many women live in turmoil after making that choice. It is definately not the *easier*, or *better* choice.

girl

Abortion is murder; sin. At least with adoption, the baby has a chance to live life. Oh, and abortion DOES scar women. See the following link. It's full of stories of women who've aborted their babies, and regretted it.
http://christiananswers.net/life/stories-abortion.html?zoom_highlight=abortion

AdoreHim

So you are saying that is better to take a life then give a life. I can tell you that abortion is not the easy way out. I counseled women for over 10 years, that thought the same way that you do. Those women have struggled with their decision for years, sometimes over 10 years. You can truly never have closure when you are struggling with the fact that you took a life. What makes a woman not want to parent? I am adopted and I am so thankful that my birth mother did not think it would be easy to take my life. I have 2 adopted children myself, and we met both of their birth moms and they knew the family that their babies were going too. Abortion tears a family apart as you call it- there is no child.

waiting

To murder or let live? What is the question? To me that should be a given!! If you dropped your pants & invited someone then you invited the possiblities that come with it. You chose that so you should take care of your responsiblities. Have the baby & give it all you can to care for him/her. If you choose adoption because you are not stable or too young, do research on the families that you like & make sure they are worthy of your child. I would rather know that I was given to a family that my mama chose for me than be even thought of as a posible abortion. Who knows the family might want an open adoption if that is what the bm wants. If it is open, then no one would be wondering. I f you find truly honest parents open should not be an issue.

red elephants

If parenting were not an option I would go with adoption. It would be difficult not knowing but I would hope they would overcome difficulties and make their life into what they want. I know many happy adult adoptees in real life. They had to work through certain things in life but we all do regardless of if we are adopted or not. Just because life is messy does not make it less worth while. I would much rather risk an open adoption not being carried out than killing my own child. Others may not see it as that but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I made that choice.

Angie

I could never give my baby up but if I had to choose between abortion and adoption I would go with an open adoption where I could choose the parents and have visits with the child.

expecting(:

There's such a thing as an open-adoption. Updates sent by the family to show how the baby is doing. I'd rather do that than EVER have to kill an innocent life. You never know what someone is capable of. Some of the world's greatest leaders could have been killed because of abortion.

Pro-life!

sweet

I know some ppl say "how can i give up my baby after 9months" i guess i don't understand how someone could kill a baby after 2months. In cases of rape - the baby didn't choose for that to happen either and if it was from being careless well we all should know how babies are made and that that is a risk we take. I know MANY ppl who come from adopted families and are very happy. If any choice i would keep it but if for whatever reason i couldn't then i would definatly choose adoption. So many ppl who wish they could have children but can't.

holidae, got BFP!

i guess what u said sounds extremely reasonable. i would never abort or adopt out my child. but u can always have an open adoption but adoption is better because u can give a child a family that cant have kids or to some one that will take better care of ur child.

GlassHalfFull

Birthmoms no longer have to wonder where their child is. When they go to an agency to choose a family, they get to decide how much contact they want. They can choose pictures and letters, phone calls, I know many people who have in person visits, and invite the birthparents, grandparents, etc to the child's birthday party and other events.

It doesn't tear a family apart, it makes a family grow.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

abortion- MAY be "easier" for some MOTHERs

but, I have two questions:

1. SHOULD it be "easier" to kill your child than to give him/her up? Sounds kinda like a toddler smashing the car he's being ordered to share, while screaming "if I can't have it nobody can"

2. Should it be about what's easier for the MOTHER?? what about the CHILD.. shoudln't it be about the CHILD.. That's what all the adoption reformists are always saying about adoption...

Unless the pregnancy endangers the mother's life, or the pregnancy is due to rape, abortion is selfishness.. she's thinking about HER, not the child.

and what she doesn't realize, is abortion is rarely best for HER either.. Women aren't warned that the majority of women have a VERY hard time getting over an abortion, most feel guilt and wish they hadn't done it. Some are permanently scarred (emotionally). No, they're not warned of this by abortion providers. Instead, theyr'e told it's no big deal, just a blob of cells (if that were true, we'd be constantly mutating and dividing into multiple new human beings every day.- we've got LOTS of blobs of cells in our body) And she's told that she'll move on with her life smoothly. Most women who have HAD an abortion will tell you it's not true.

Sounds alot like unscrupulous adoption agencies, huh?

I think adoption is better than abortion, but not better (usually) than parenting.

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