What is the best way to find a better understanding towards my biological parents?

What is the best way to find a better understanding towards my biological parents?
Alright,so I was adopted out of my family when I was about a year old or so,I must admit I have dealt with it some what alright. I was also born quite premature,and about a year later my parents had a baby boy who was severly mentally disable since birth,and has been that way since then,he needs round clock care pretty much.So then not too long after I was born they gave me up to a couple that they knew,who are now my adoptive parents.After my brother was born about six years later they had their next son and a couple years after that they had another son.So the three kids live with them but I don't.
Latley they have been talking with me more,and wanting me to come over more,and do more things with them.

Thank you.

Leesa T

Well if you grew up in a healthy home then I would say be greatful and if you feel you must ask why you were given up seems like they felt it was best for you. I dobut it was for any other reason because they have other kids. I was given up @ 9 months and lived in foster care all my life till I was 21 (because they paid for college provided I stayed in the system) Any way I got married had a baby a few pregnancy losses and now I'm 19 weeks pregnant I understand what it means to be a mom and also to loss a child I don't think it couls have been easy for your parents. I don't think in my case my mom did what was best for me because they took me from her I know in foster care she had a chance to get me back and I'm not mad that she didn't becasue if she was not stable to take care of herself then she really could not care for me either. I just see it as she did the best she could and it still was not enough just like as a mom I do the best I can but fall short all the time, does not mean I'm a bad mom just that I'm human. And who knows maybe letting us go was the best our parents could do at the end of the day I'm still a good person not just because of but inspite of the life I've had. So only you can decide what you want to do as far as buliding relationships with your siblings but I hope you understand from someone who was given up and now a momma what parents go through for their children.

Brittainy

You need to talk to them. The only way to truely understand what happened is to tell them how you feel, ask what they were feeling, how they decided to adopt you. Find it all out.

msjay

Well think of it this way, they gave you up to a family that they believed could adequetely take care of you in a time that they weren't sure that they could. You were given a chance to have a better life than they could provide for you at the time.

dog lover

they did what they thought was the best thing for you at the time. they knew that no one would want a disabled child and they wanted to give you more than they could at the time. they love you, more than you will ever know. they had other children... so you're wondering, why didn't they keep me? at the time they did what they thought was best for you, but, i am willing to bet they regret that decision more than anything they've ever done. they had other children to replace the pain of losing you. what they really wanted was you back, since they couldn't, they kept having other kids. weird i know.... ask them.... they may/may not want to tell you everything right now. ur young.

best wishes. just know that ur loved.

Well what do you want to do? Its sounds like they may have not wanted you to suffer due to the time they spent with your brother who was disable. I think its okay that you see them but its up to you who you feel is your parent. You may have some resentment toward them and that's natural. As you get older you will understand better why they made the choice they did but never agree with it. Its never easy to do what you think is in the best interest of the child and since they have kept your other brothers, its confusing. You could ask and then do what is in your best interest

CRE12

I think they gave to to people that they Knew who could take care of you and give you the best. I think if you really need to know the "why me part" you should ask them. When you learn the truth and its not always happy tell them thanks for giving you a better life and be very happy with your real mom and dad.

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