What is your opinion about the woman who had the 8 kids?

MamaKate

Dear Cindy,

When I first heard about this case I was interested. Then I was concerned. Then I was shocked. I have been following this story closely and am very interested to see how it pans out - it could have major repercussions for so many people.

This case concerns me tremendously on multiple levels and I find it very upsetting. The level of irresponsibility from so many people is absolutely stunning. In an effort to try to be organized about my concerns I'm going to just list them in an outward circle - like a ripple - and how many people could be effected by this. (My opinions are based on multiple news articles not any first hand knowledge.)

THE CHILDREN:
My greatest concerns are for the welfare for these children.
According to reports, ALL of them were IVF and do not have any relationship with their father or a father figure other than the grandfather. The first 6 children have already had multiple caretakers (both inside and outside of the family) and are living under financial and emotional strain - enough so that the grandfather is leaving the country to try to make more money and the grandmother is going the "be gone". The family has already filed for bankruptcy once at a debt level of almost $100,000. One boy is autistic and there is a high probability that some or all of the octuplets could have medical/developmental/etc. issues.

I can't imagine how this mother is going to possibly be able to care well for all of these children at once. Even Kate Gosslin, who was prepared to give this family advice was dismayed and concerned at learning this mother already had 6 kids! With ALL of them being under 7 and 8 being the same age - it isn't even as if the older children can really help out that much - like the Duggar family. (I don't think it is fair for siblings to have to raise siblings when there are parents anyway.)

These children are possibly being subjected to inadequate: attention, special needs care, housing, mental instability of their mother, limited resources, etc. I see a great potential for things to fall apart fast in this household and place these children at risk. I hope that there will be someone involved who has the authority to get this family services and step in if necessary.

All of the people who say, "Well, it's HER life, HER choice." are missing that it ISN'T just HER. It's these KIDS too. How about thinking about THEM! I feel terrible for these children and I hope with all my heart that THEY get what they need. It will be great (and amazing if Mom can do it, but if not, THEIR needs are the most important!

THE MOTHER:
This mother (Nadya) has some issues that need to be evaluated by a psychiatric professional. She does not seem to be able to put the welfare of her children before her own "needs" and desires. She has bankrupted her parents and created children without thought as to the ramifications that THEY will have to deal with. Nadya has a very questionable history that should have thrown red flags ups for any seasoned medical or childcare professional and should have been addressed before she was given any kind of fertility treatment or IVF to begin with - much less this last go-round.

Nadya's financial situation is another big concern, there are some reports that she works "part-time" others that she is a former employee of a fertility clinic (?????). There are many concerns over who will be financially responsible for these 14 children - even if Mom (and gramps) works full time (as a TV child-care expert - OMG!!!), it will be almost impossible to provide for these kids without assistance.

I am concerned too that she has supposedly been getting much of her income from "educational grants" to further her education in child care. If she is, as reported, a student - how does she have the money for these procedures? I hope that the grant were not misappropriated and used to create this mess. What if she is brought up on charges? What happens to the kids if Mom ends up in criminal trouble? It could cause problems and future restrictions and rules for other students who ARE using their grants for their intended uses.

Even if we go simply by her financial record, this Mom has not shown that she is being responsible for her offspring - and causes me to question her ability to make good parenting choices. To top it off, now there are reports that she is considering exploiting these children (by parading them about on tv) to make the money. Sounds very responsible and "in the best interest of the children" to me...PFFFFFT. This woman needs HELP.

THE GRANDPARENTS:

This woman's parents have enabled her to compound the situation with more and more issues that place this family at risk for problems. The grandfather seems a bit unstable himself to me and the grandmother seems at her wit's end. I can't help but feel that they are partly responsible because they continued to support their daughter's behavior until it has become out of control -

ETA:even against the concerns and advice of professionals.

THE HOSPITAL/MEDICAL COMMUNITY:
This case put an incredible strain on the hospital and medical staff involved.

There are serious ethical concerns about the how's and why's this was allowed to happen. There are concerns about the level of "intrusion" Dr.s should have into their patients' care. Who decides what? What should be the requirements to qualify for assisted reproduction? Some professionals are concerned this will send the wrong message to "baby collectors" and other people who have child/baby/parenting oriented "issues". This case is showing that we need to sit down and have some serious discussion about bio-ethics and guidelines for artificially creating families.

THE PUBLIC:
It will cost into the MILLIONS to care for these babies and their mother - money SHE doesn't have. The hospital/taxpayers/insurance holders will end up having to "eat" some of that cost. Insurance rates could be effected as well.

Then there is the possibility that this family ends up on welfare or worse yet - the children end up in state custody. While I think most taxpayers don't mind government assistance when it is necessary, this case is an example of someone possibly putting unnecessary strain on an already over-taxed system due to their own selfishness and irresponsibility. The public probably doesn't hold ill will towards the children but I can see being upset at Mom - the amount it would take to care for her family would easily provide for SEVERAL other families who fall on hard times for legitimate reasons that are truly beyond their control.

****

I hope that these children get the love and attention they deserve and that their lives are as happy, healthy and secure as is humanly possible.

Sorry for the length of the post - there is so much to cover with this case!!!

vonwally_1011

NOOO there is no way she can give the one on one time the children need

especially with her lack of job, husband and the fact that she's 34 and she is still living with her parents, who had just declaired bankrupcy

plus all of her kids have problems [mainly from benig all squished together!]

Donna L

I think she was looking for her 15 minutes of fame.

I hope SOMEONE will be a good mother to all 14 kids!!! And I hope that someone isn't the State, supported by our tax money.

iKim

Those aren't kids, that's a litter.

dancegirl_08

I think that she probably has some kind of insecurity or emotional problem that she is compensating for. Also I think she is being very selfish. There is no way that she can give all those kids the indiviual attention they need. Not to mention the lack of father. I grew up without a father( not by my Mom's choice, he died) and it was really hard I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

â„¢ILikeShinyThings

Hell no! Did you know that she is willing to tell her story for $2 million? Her grandmother also said that she is obssesed with having kids ever since she was a teenager, and there is no father because she never wanted to get married.

AdoreHim

What I am concerned about is what will become of those 14 children. That woman is not married, and decided to become artificially inseminated after having 6 children under the age of 7 already. I have a feeling that this woman is trying to fulfill an emptiness that is within her, that she THINKS can be filled with more children. She is living in complete denial. Unfortunately I feel that she will be depending on federal-state aid, which will come out of our pockets. I know that there are families out there that truly do need help, so I don't want to say no one deserves it from time to time, but what I am saying is that this woman KNOWINGLY got pregnant knowing she could not raise her family.

deb

I think that she has mental issues, her own mother said as much and claims that she will have nothing more to do with the situation. She is a single parent!!! How will she feed and clothe these children.

I believe that she wants her own reality show like Jon & Kate + 8, and all the perks and freebies that they get. Money and attention grabber.

Super Salami!

I think that if she needed help with the first 6 kids, that she is going to have trouble with 14.

Randy B

Personally, I don't have as much of an opinion on her as I do on the medical community to assisted her. She's got issues and that should have been spotted before she was allowed to go ahead with these last 8. Apparently her first 6 were via IVF too.

Nikki

I think she has a few screws loose. She's a single mother who just had 8 children. She has 6 other children ages 2-7 at home (all were conceived using envitro). There is no way she can financially support those children. She lives in a "modest" home with her parents. It's a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom home. How can she expect to bring up 14 normal children in such conditions?

Laurel J

I think she's mentally ill. She couldn't possibly be a good mother to so many kids.

I also think Mommy and Daddy should have quit enabling and supporting her every bad decision a long time ago.

svmainus

No husband, no home, no job? No. I'm not sure what her motives are.

dolphinbuc

If she can remember their names.

Liz M

.....why....would she want more kids??? She already had 6.

I dont get it?

AnswerQueen

man, that would be hard

Leather and Lace

I think she should be living in her own house and have a job to support her and her kids and not expect her parents, the government and getting paid for interviews to support her brood. With one autistic child and 13 others under the age of 7, I do not think she will have the time and ability to properly care for these children.
I think she is probably hoping for some reality show.

julvrug

I am sure this woman has some mental problems, but then I also have to wonder about the lame excuse of a doctor that allowed this to happen. There is no ethical way this doctor should have done the implant knowing this woman's situation, and he/she should be barred from ever practicing again. I believe the best thing that could happen to these children would be for the state to remove them from her care. All eight will probably have some medical or mental problem as the biggest weighed less than 4 pounds. There is no way she will be able to care for them let alone on top of the 6 she already has. After all there are federal and state limits as to how many embryos can be implanted, and this is way above the limit, regardless if she will be a good parent or not, which is difficult to believe she will be considering the situation.

walyank

Seems a bit nuts to me but to each his/her own.

The doctors who helped her are another question, though.

durdenslabs

The amount of children isn't the problem. It's that she doesn't feel "good" unless she's pregnant and has kids. Her other children were done invitro and her last 8 were 'left over' eggs. She's not married, no father figure, and can not raise all of her children on her own. Her mother has been helping her BUT has said she'll be leaving when the other 8 come home because mom needs to realise she can't rely on everyone for help.

If she could take care of all 14 kids (without media help and free diapers/formula) then that's great. But she can't!

John & Kate plus 8 - they have 8 children, dad works, mom stays at home. THEY can afford it and do very well. The t.v. show is filmed 2/3 days a week and the rest of the time they are a normal family.

18 & counting with the Duggars (and their friends that have 17 kids) - They do fine renting homes/businesses and can afford their children. They have very strict moral values and are home schooled. I don't agree with the kids being shut off from the real world. I don't think they'll make it when they leave home (assuming they branch away from their roots/parents). If they stick to the values they were raised with, live nearby, don't kiss before marriage, date 1 boy/girl that they'll marry, etc then they still live in a sheltered world...but it's their sheltered world. :)

Number doesn't matter as long as you can provide for them.

Kate

At first, I know she was a woman that struggled to have kids and was shocked yet happy that her dreams came true. Then I heard about the six other children. No husband, filed for bankruptcy, lives in a three bedroom home that belongs to her parents, etc. I heard on HLN news that she apparently used welfare money to get invitro.

I myself am sadden by this story, but clearly something is not right completely with the mother, I mean there has to be something not right as no one in the right mind with six kids would want another eight all at once.

Sad story. Although, maybe she was hoping by media attention that she would end up with her own verison of a "Jon and Kate Plus 8" who knows.

However, I would love to know who this outside source was that let her use invitro once again. Apparently the biological father she is friends with and all the children apparently have the same biological father, but I personally would love to know more about the outside source of invitro.

We do not know if she used the same source of invitro for conceiving all her kids, whether she lied about having six other kids, you never know as there are so many possibilities.

snowwillow20

I think she has a screw loose.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

She is a selfish piece of ****, but I knew that when I found out that she already had 6 kids under 8 (making 14 under 8 now), doesn't have a job, mooches off her parents, intentionally getting pregnant when there is no guy around (how sad for the kids, I mean I know it happens all the time, and my son's father is not around, but I didn't do it on PURPOSE) and BANKRUPT!

Opedial

I loved that on SNL they had someone pretending to be Angelina Jolie asking if she wanted to keep all of them!

SJM

IMO, she wasn't being a good parent to the first six when she chose to get pregnant again and carry all eight children while dependent upon her parents for support.

jake

She is asking for 2 million to tell her story.
Also free diapers and clothing.
Any takers?

Before they are aware of who and where they are, they should be placed for adoption.

Anna

don't know who the woman is, but 14 kids seems to be too much. But if she can take care of everyone by herself, which I doubt, it's okay I guess. Well, if it's ok for the kids, ofc.
:)

Not Adopted

I have no idea whether she will be a good mother.

I think the important issue here is the ethics of implanting this many embryos. It appears that this area of reproductive medicine knows no bounds.

Ethical and legal standards should be put in place before we allow this practice to continue.

Semper Fi

Baby Horder. those kids are gonna be soo messed up emotionaly cause mommy never had any time for them, and whats worse is they are all still young like I think the oldest is 7 so they need the attention and they are gonna have to take care of the babies and each other. CPS needs to take those kids away, and that is sad because they are all gonna get split up. She is so selfish for what she did

lonanmu

I think she'll need a lot of support. Whether it was prudent or not, the kids are there now.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: