What is your opinion on adoption? why?

concerned

It should be a LAST resort. Period. Separating children from their natural families is not in their best interest except in cases of abuse/neglect.

It needs MAJOR reform. The laws do not protect adoptee and natural mom and natural father rights.

It needs a dose of realism. The general population has no understanding of the complexities of adoption; and myths about adoption abound.

It needs a paradigm shift. Right now, infant adoption is more about finding babies for adults who simply want them. It should be about finding homes for children who really need them. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of children who ACTUALLY need new homes are waiting in foster care.....

Laurel J

I think adoption needs to return to its original emphasis of being about the best interests of children who need homes and families rather than the current emphasis on obtaining children for people who want them. I think the money should be taken out of adoption, and that open adoptions are probably best. All fifty states should have open records for adult adoptees. Finally, people who want to be parents should be encouraged to look in the foster care system rather than insisting on the elusive healty white infant.

My own adoption was a good one, and I'm glad to be in my family, but there are many things about current adoption practice I don't like. Best of luck with your project, and thanks for asking.

tish

i'm for adoption REFORM.

i'm for adoption truly being about serving the needs of parentless children. not childless parents.

i'm for open records for adoptees.

i'm for full disclosure of information about ALL options being given to pregnant women.

i'm against pre-matching and pre-labeling (eg. calling a woman a birthmother during pregnancy).

i'm for longer revocation periods.

i'm for adoption from foster care.

i'm against financial assistance being given to pregnant women by prospective adoptive parents.

i'm for adoption being absent from profit and coercion.

i'm for adoption being the last resort.

PhilM

I think adoption, as used in the United States today, is generally negative. To keep the system going... Society perpetuates the myth that families require children in order to be complete. That helps to create the demand by potential adoptive parents. Young birth mothers are then convinced, also by society, that they are incapable of caring for their children and encouraged to relinquish them. Then, after all that, adoptees are told they don't need to know their origins and history, and the records of all of this are kept sealed. Pretty much a lose-lose-lose.

If adoption were used to help children, rather than perpetuate the adoption system itself, it would be a better situation all around. Those children that really needed placement would be helped. Those children that could be raised by their birth families wouldn't suffer the trauma of relinquishment. Those people that really wanted to help children could do so, and perhaps would be encouraged to help get children out of the foster system. And those children that needed to be adopted would be allowed to know where they came from.

But of course, that's just my opinion.

jessica300

I hate infant adoption. Why do I hate it? Because it is the act of separating a mother and infant at birth. Because I lost my only child to adoption and it hurts like hell 23 years later.

Emma523

In my opinion....

open records, open records, OPEN records!!! Being adopted makes one loose some of there rights as a human being- like the right to there real birth certificate.

Infant adoption needs to lessen. It is an industry built on money.

Foster-adopt can be a good thing, but only if the birth parents are abusive. I don't think that not having enough money for heat is a good reason to completely take away a child from someone. I think the foster care system needs a lot of change as well, but that's a different story.

Basically, all of adoption needs reform. It just can not stay as it is--well, it can, but it shouldn't. Things need to change before more adoptees and birth parents lose.

sunny

adoptioncrossroads.com
adultadoptees.org/forum
babyscoopera.com
origins-usa.org

It's all there.

KarmaComesToYou!

Can be a good thing, can be a bad thing. I always thought that if I had an unwanted pregnancy, I'd go for adoption. Now, I'm not so sure. I don't think that just because a couple has money and really wants a child, that means they're more fit to raise a child than a struggling, single mom. Adoption, legal or illegal, is basically just all about money - if you have the income and a nice house, that gets you on the list. The lawyers get their money, the couple gets the baby, and the birth mother gets... squat. She can't even really be certain that her child is going to a good home - unless it's an open adoption, who knows what happens after the papers are signed? The adoptive parents could end up being crooks - who knows? I don't want children, but if I would get pregnant (I try to be careful when I'm in a s-e-x-u-a-l (for censors) relationship), I'd probably end up keeping it, and hope my SO would help out since I am working but not where I need to be career-wise.

martin j

Interesting reading all the answers so far and who they are from! Some adoptive kids, some parents etc.

Well i am at the end of the adoption process and have been in it with my partner for almost two years. The main thing about it is that it is all about the child. It is their needs you are addressing, not yours.

Although the needs of the adoptive family do obviously come into it, we must remember that a child has been removed from a natural parent for whatever reason and they are to be placed with a family who hopefully will give them love and a caring home (not that the natural parents didn't do this but this is what adoptive parents can and want to offer).

The actual adoption process has been for want of a better word, a nightmare. Our social worker has been an incompitant fool who has done her upmost to ruin it for us. We have been successful with all she has asked but she is always out to find fault. There have been a few times we have almost packed it all in but seeing as we can't have children naturlally, this is the right thing for us to do.

You'll never get the right answer to your question because of the range of feelings about it. I have posted questions on this subjevct before and recieved many positive but also many negative comments.

There are millions of aspects to adoption that people just don't see.

They see the celebrity culture of want a baby, buy a baby, have a baby. Which is the wrong way to do it.

Aunt Minta

I have mixed views on adopotion, as I'm sure most people who are very close to the process do. At least I hope I'm not alone on this one. My husband and I have been unable to conceive without serious medical intervention. We have decided that since we truly feel led to become parents the most responsible option for us would be to adopt rather than spend the time and resources to overcome our infertility. We are in the process now of determining whether domestic or international adoption is the best choice for us.

In general I feel that adoption is a wonderful concept that allows people who have been called to care for children who otherwise would lead very different, and likely worse lives. It takes children from being cast aside to chosen and from alone to having a family. I can't imagine a more loving act than to bring a child into your home and love and raise it as your own. In general, and most days adoption is fantastic to me.

Of course, I can't help but to think about the negative side of adoption as well. In order for my family to be whole, another must be broken. There is a woman out there somewhere who has given up her child. That can't be easy regardless of the situation. But, I can't not think aboout her. Does she have other children, if she were in some other situation would she have kept her baby and most of all how will she make through everyday not knowing where her child is or who their with? This child that I am bringing into my home has a whole other family out there that I don't know, I can't see. It makes me nervous. Will they try to take the child back at some point, will they try to contact us to claim some "birthright?" On the negative side of things, my most overwhelming thought is why does my happiness have to come from someone else's loss?

I don't think there is any one right answer or right opinion on adoption, it's a very complex issue with varying considerations from every angle. I know I go from one extreme to another, but am hoping that it all quiets down when my little one comes home.

Sandie

I think it's wonderful for children who have been abuse or treated badly or abandoned by thier parents, every child deserves loving parents and a real family, and sometimes it takes someone other than a bio parent to offer that.
Especially when kids are in foster care i think it's a blessing.

adkwolf

I was adopted as a teen. It helped me feel like I had a place in the world, but I always felt torn between my adoptive parents and birth parents.

I also adopted my daughter. She completes our family and brigns us great joy. we love and she loves us. This said she continues to greive the birth parents she will never know. We honor them, though they remain nameless strangers in China.

So, adoption is one way to form a family. It is bittersweet. Those touched by adoption are always aware that there is a loss as well as a gain. I am greatful to have been adoptive and blessed to have been ble to adopt my daughter.

a healing adoptee

That it is okay. It is a way for people to become families. It provides homes for children. I think it is very loving. I do want better reforms in adoption to make sure what is best for the child takes place.

Lori A

I am a birth mother and think that adoption is for the union of both the family and the child. The family that adopted my daughter had lost their own and couldnt have any more. I needed my daughter to have a more stable environment than I could offer. I am grateful that they were open hearted enough to take in a child that wasn't theirs and give her the great upbringing that they did.

Pearlofgreatprice

I don't really want to adopt because I am afraid that when the child grows up it wants to know its real parents. ( All adopted children want to know their real parents. ) Because they could get into a lot of trouble by finding who their parents are. Their parents might try and take them back and use them or abuse them or something. I would not take that risk.

Why I am telling you this is because I am adopted. But I don't want to go in details because whenever I think of myself as being adopted I start crying.

Wundt

I believe that adoption is a positive outcome to a negative situation. In a perfect world, children wouldn't be orphaned, unwanted, abused, or neglected. However, in the real world, they are, and it is good that there are people out there to step up and take (social) responsibility for these children.

Is every adoption perfect? No. Is there abuse of the system and people making a profit? Yes. However, I believe that most adoptions are good things, and, in the end, the world is a better place because of adoption.

Adoption is an opportunity for someone to bring something good from a situation that they don't feel is good for the child. No ethical person gets pregnant on purpose, just to place a child up for adoption.

_______definitely rude__________

I think it's one of the best way to share the blessing that you have and it's also a way of showing how your parents brought you up. Although we all know that everything in this world has its own advantages and disadvantages but adopting a child has a lot of advantages you got to feel to be a parent and you have someone with you and your helping a child to face his future.

I think it is a wonderful opportunity for both the child and the family. Especially if the family has a lot to offer the child in terms of love, acceptance, and has the financial means to provide well. Adoption is better than abortion in almost every case. I fear all the celebrity adoptions in the media are making it a status symbol, adopting is not like going to the pound to rescue a puppy.

pansyblue

I'm for it!
I feel strongly that all children deserve to be wanted. That is so important. I'ts much more important than money, new toys, clothes, or even two parents.
That doesn't mean that the birth mother is bad or hates her baby. It just means that she is adult enough to understand what a huge commitment and how much work raising a baby is, and if she can't realistically do that, she lets parents do it that are ready and choose to.
That child is so lucky.

janecess20

i think it is the best opportunity for the child who are going to be adopt by family who really are so kind so that the emptiness that the child feel when their family left them in the orphanage be filled with love their searching for,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Aliyah's Sexy Mommy

my hubby and I are planning to have 2 kids of our own and then adopt another 2. i think adoption is great and it really shows you care.

bessiebuttons

i would like to adop a baby cause, for one thing i got love and would take care of it very well,see i had t kids with this man i was married to and he talked me in to getting fixed and i did, i really did wont to but i did and now i wish i had not done this cause now ia married and love this man and wont to have a child with him
so adop is a good thing some one can love it and give it a good home that cares about it

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