What should I do to my child? should I give him for adoption?

grapesgum

Your son has a father. No need for adoption.

Linny G

I am an 8 year breast cancer survivor, so I realize how difficult this time is for you. As a mother, when we our diagnosed with a potentially life threatening illness, our thoughts immediately turn to our children.

First and foremost, you must make sure you are getting adequate health care, even though we have always put our children first.

You must discuss your fears with your husband. Sometimes a crisis can bring couples together. Your son has a father- IF (and I say if because breast cancer is a treatable disease) you were to die, the worst thing for him would be to go with strangers. Losing a mother to death or to adoption is very traumatic, and in the latter case, it is preventable.

Heather B

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

If a child loses his mother, the last thing he wants is to lose his entire extended family as well by being adopted by strangers!

Best wishes.

Independ"ant"

Your husband will get custody.

Focus on your health and use your son as motivation to fight your cancer.

Call or email every NGO or Charitable organization you can to see if they can assist you in getting the best treatment possible...you may find one that will fly you to a country that has better treatment centers as well as pay for it.

Don't think about your husbands bad behavior right now...you have more important things to worry about than him.

Nicole

No. Your child belongs with you, poor or not. Especially if your life is at risk, he/she will want to be with you as much as possible.
Divorce your husband on the basis of adultery, request alimony and child support, this will help you get by with finances.
If you feel like you cannot raise the child because of your illness, or things are too bad financially, then can you give your child to a well trusted friend, or family member?

monkeykitty83

Depending on the laws in your area, custody would probably go to your husband if you died. Even if you have gotten divorced, unless his parental rights have also been terminated, he is still the other legal parent of the child. And honestly, I think that if something happened to you, your son would be better off with his father than with strangers. That way he won't have to lose BOTH parents. If your husband is capable of taking care of a child, and is willing, I think him getting custody the best possible outcome.

If he can't care for your son, do you have a relative or trusted friend who can help you during your illness, and if the worst should happen, could become your son's guardian if you pass away? I think placing him for adoption is premature, but I do think parents-- whether or not they're ill, as accidents can happen to anyone-- should have a plan of who will take custody if they should die.

I also think you should consider trying to reconcile with your husband. Yes, I can see why it's shocking, and I can see why you're angry he didn't tell you he was in touch with her... but your reaction seems extreme here. You stayed married to him for four years. He's the father of your child. You're facing a potentially life-threatening illness. You aren't sure what will happen to your son if you die. How is him talking to his ex the biggest concern here? I think you have more major problems, and if possible your family should be together now.

Carol c

I am both a breast cancer survivor and a mother of adoption loss. Admittedly, the cancer came years later and I didn't have to choose, but I can tell you that your son will always be better off being with his family of origin. Neither of you will ever get over the separation from each other; but I would think for your son it would be more difficult because he would be aware that you had a choice.

I'm so sorry your husband is behaving so inappropriately, but don't react in anger for something that will turn out to be so important to your son.
You'll be in my prayers.

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