What should we buy a first mother for her birthday?

My 10 year old daughter was re-united with her first mother, Mary, a couple of months ago. We are in the process of building a strong relationship. We are all bonding and becoming a family. Of course, the relationship with my daughter and her first mother (and 2 brothers) is the most important part, but by spending time together the family unit is forming. It's a wonderful thing.

Here's my question. Mary's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. What would be the perfect gift to get her from my daughter? What about from my husband and me? Is there anything you would consider inappropriate? I want it to be special. Please help.
Additional Details
Added:
I thought about the mother's ring with all 3 of her children's birhstones for mother's day.

I already started working on a digital slide show for Christmas. I guess I could get it done earlier.

Would something like a couple days in a cabin at a local state park with me, her, our daughter and her two sons be a good gift? Her birthday is early December. We could do it while we're on Christmas break. I would also include a small keepsake gift. Just a thought.

Thanks for the positive comments about our relationship. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's the best thing for our daughter. No one can be loved too much.

amy

If Mary lives close by you could have her and your daughter take pictures together at Wal-mart, Target, or where ever.

You could have your daughter make something. Arts & crafts stores have anything you could imagine.

Or share with Mary something your daughter made when she was younger.

I think the suggestion for the scrapbook with notes about when she lost her first tooth, started walking, etc was a great idea. Pictures are Mary's way of being able to see all the things she wanted to be there for but couldn't. All those little things are just as precious to her as they are for you.

Someone suggested having your daughter pick something out for her first mom. I think that would be meaningful as well. Maybe something engraved with your daughter's name on it. The most important thing is that it has to do with your daughter. Mary is trying to figure out where she fits into your family. She knows you all love her, but she is trying to figure out how to bond with the daughter she placed. Anything you can do to help nurture that relationship will mean more than you can imagine.

sunny

Thank you for making your daughter's relationship with her other mother a priority. she will be happier and healthier emotionally because of you. What a gift you have given them both!

Personal stuff is nice. I like those photo books you can assemble from Shutterfly. Also, one of those hand print garden stepping stones are nice--they have them everywhere, (like Michael's & Wal-Mart) here's one:
http://www.amazon.com/Milestones-Kids-Step-Stone-Kit/dp/B00000IS31

Your daughter could make it herself.

NinkyNonk

One of those photobooks with childhood photo's of your/her daughter

sizesmith

A personalized scrapbook, with pictures all through your daughter's life, complete with notes,explaining that she might have been cranky over Christmas, because that's the day she got her first tooth, or similar things.

Also, include pictures of all of your family together, including her in them. Perhaps on the inside cover, put a personalized note in it, saying thank you for allowing you to share your daughter, and for making you one of the happiest people on the face of this earth, and thanking her for being part of your family. Good luck!

monkeykitty83

I would pick a gift for Mary the same way you would for any other friend or relative-- based on her interests and personality, and what you think she would like that's within your price range. I think it's better to buy a gift suited to the individual, rather than trying to find a more generic one based on her role in your life and your daughter's life.

If possible, I think your daughter should pick out her own gift for Mary. You paying for it is fine, but at the age of ten, your daughter is plenty old enough to start choosing gifts for people. I think it would be most meaningful to Mary to know the little girl chose it herself, regardless of the actual gift she ends up deciding on.

snowwillow20

A nice frame and picture.
Photo album. Maybe a silver heart.
Really anything your daughter picks out for her bmom will be good.

Lori A

Along the lines of a scrap book, what about a DVD of her baby pictures through now, showing all the smiles, tears, first solo bike ride (if you have it) holloween costumes, parties, with pets. Just a recap of her life basically. Put it to some really great music and have each shot stay up for 6 seconds or so. I would love one of those.

ETA: I think the cabin would be a great idea.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

first, i commend you for having this relationship!

i have two ideas- one, a mothers ring with the girls birth stone.

the other- a photo album of all her growing up pics, some of her handmade artwork, stuff like that.

when i met my mother, i gave her a mothers ring and she loved it.

Heather Leigh

I think a scrap book with pictures of your daughter as she has grown and maybe some of the artwork that she has done over the years. This could be something you and your daughter work on together and give to her other Mom from the entire family.

Porsha

Jewelry, every woman loves it. Or have your daughter make her something special, every mother loves that.

Heather B

Wow, an adoption without insecurities, secrets and lies - how fantastic

I love the idea of a family outing to the State Park.

I wish more adoptive parents had this positive attitude; if only the anti first family brigade would realise that your daughter will be so much closer to you as a result, perhaps more of them would go into adoption with a healthy transparency which is, after all, what is best for the adopted individual.

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