What steps should be taken to give a child up for adoption?

Heather B

Contrary to what the previous answerer stated, the records are sealed from the person adopted, whether or not the adoption is 'open' or 'closed' they are ALL sealed by the State (not the mother!) and the adoptee has very little chance of ever opening them to find you if he needs to.

I am part of a group of adoptees attempting to get the records unsealed so that adopted people can have access to their own vital records just as other people do. Our opposers (mostly adoption agencies) tell us that mothers like you (those who relinquish children for adoption) never want to be found and need protection from us!

Hoping to be a mom

I agree with everyone, find a legitimate agency or adoption attorney, they can explain everything to you and help you plan and pick the family, just make sure its the right desicion for you. My husband and I have been looking to adopt for several years and its heartbreaking on both ends...but help in finding a good family for your baby as you definately have that option. Sometimes you can even meet them. See photos of their life and ask questions. That way you can make a good choice...good luck..

Mel

You need to find an adoption agency that you feel comfortable with. Find some in your area and go talk with them. Decide whether or not you want to choose the parents yourself, if you want to meet them, if you want to have contact with them after the baby is born, etc, You definitely need to speak with a therapist/social worker that works solely in the adoption "line of work"........

jannday13

There will be several documents that you sign in order to give your child up for adoption. Each state has different adoption laws but the documents are confidential and the child will not be able to receive the info on these documents unless you decide that he or she can. I would check out www.americanadoptions.com and that website will answer most questions you have and if you have additional questions you can call them 24/7 at 1-800-ADOPTION and they will assist you. You will not even have to give your name if you are not comfortable with it. You can choose an open, semi open, or closed adoption, whatever you are comfortable with. I hope all works out for you and I hope the best for you.

Daisey Duck

You need to talk to social services or an adoption agency. There are adoption lawyers also. Social services will be able to tell you what all is involved and what you will have to do. They can also give you options on if you want to keep the baby. You will have to sign papers after the baby is born. Just get in contact with them and they will be able to help you.

jassy B

I can tell you exactly how i did it....and mines was recently( december 9th 2008)
i went to a trust and recommended agency
they helped me wit anything i needed(although i didn't need anything)
b4 i had her they asked me question about the father, the babies nationality, my health history (for the baby so the knew family knows what runs in my blood, like breast cancer) and what i look for in a family for my daughter.
* then we waited and i called them when i went to the hospital they visited when i had her i spent 2 days with her then i signed the papers before i left the hospital.
* while ur in the hospital you get a fake name but all the document for the adoption will be in you name.

'Insert name here'

Seek an adoption agency, they will advise you and should hopefully give you the support you need.

snowwillow20

This is a monumental decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Wait until after the baby is born and you have had time to be with him/her before you make your decision.

Open adoptions are not legally enforceable.

As a woman who gave up a child 37 years ago, I can tell you that in time, if you give up your child you will probably regret it. It's a hurt that never heals. Make sure you get counseling and exhaust all possibilities to try to keep your child.

In the end it's you and the father's decision on whether you keep your child.

Please talk to other first moms and truly listen to their stories of how adoption changed and scarred them.

crzymmof8

I would be talking to an adoption attorney or counselor for this information. They can better inform you on this. You will need to pick parents for the child and decide if you want an open or closed adoption. No one on here can truly answer this question for you. I would also hope you have someone to talk to about the emotional aspect of giving a child up for adoption.

lil sexy

u dont need to give your baby up like they say a baby is a gift if you is having a baby take care of it. but if you do decide to give your baby up think about how you will fill if your momma gave you up..please keep your child raise her/him and take care of it if you have any problems talk to someone! thanks

sizesmith

In some ways, adoption is easy and in others, it isn't. A child could be left at a fire station, never to be seen again, although I believe that's wrong.

The better way would be to find suitable parents that you can connect to, and get to know, so that way, you'll have an idea of where your child will be in the future. There are several ways to do this, either by going to an agency, but I don't like them because I've seen them be really pushy with parents who are placing. Child protective services could take the baby, but then the baby would be in various foster care homes before being adopted, and I think that's hard.on the baby. You can also seek out parent on your own, but be careful in doing this.

If you decide to handle this on your own, make sure you do the following: Make sure you get a copy of the home study, done by a licensed social worker. Make sure you get references that can be verified, not just cell phone numbers. Make sure you get consent to run a check on the adoptive parents in the future, so that way, you can find them.

Keep a copy of the original birth certificate, because one day, the child will want to see it. He/she won't be able to get a copy of it without you, unless you provide it to the adoptive parents. I urge you to write a letter with your emotions now, and start a scrapbook of what you go through to show the child when they're older. Try to provide copies of your baby pictures, the father's, and a complete medical history so that way, the child can have a medical history to put down.

Also, keep a copy of every document you sign, so that way, if you change your mind, you'll have the way out if you need, and if it's legal in your state. For instance, in our state, a mother can change her mind for 10 days after the birth of the baby.

Know that you have other rights too. You have every right to hold the baby in the hospital, and to get pictures. You have every right to meet the adoptive parents, see where they live, and get to know their extended family. If they or an agency says that isn't possible, move on, because it is. If for any reason you feel that the adoption plan isn't working for you, then move on, because there are other adoptive parents out there. They outnumber the children being placed at birth by far.

In today's world, know that one day, the child will most likely be looking for you, and the internet has made the world a much smaller place. Also be aware that some people will lie through their teeth to get a baby, and if you want the adoptive parents to take a lie detector test (at their cost), then you have that right too.

If you do place your child, later on if for any reason you haven't been able to keep contact with the child and the adoptive parents, there is a state registry where parents and children can place their names and be matched by identifying information, like birth date, place of birth, etc, by social workers for the state. There are costs relatively low to keep the sights going.

I also urge you to get counseling before and after the baby is born, because the hormone levels in your body, and the loss of a child can bring on some issues you might be able to handle better with a counselor to guide you. Good luck in your process.

mr.M

Before i answer your question, let me first ask you..
Are you really sure that you're going to have your child being adopted?

There are ways on how you can let go and have your child adopted.
In a legal way, I think that there are papers you should sign that you're really letting go of your child.

m p

There are two types of adoption...one where it is an "open" adoption where the adoptive parents stay in touch with you by mail and send you pictures and updates and you can make it an understanding that if your child wants to contact you in the future, that will be fine...Or you can do a closed adoption where the records are sealed, and you don't know anything about the child at all and they don't know about you...I would check with Department of Social Services and see what direction they could point you in...

TTC Baby #1

do you have a plan for who you are giving the child up for adoption first?

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